Ask Me Help Desk - Where did you learn to hate?

Why is there so much hate in the world today? I just don't understand. I mean people making fun of other people, not except people for who they are, can't forgive people who have done something wrong in there past and it still haunts them today even though they have changed,hate towards people a different color people etc. I am 39 years old and can't believe how much the world has changed. I really get scare of life at times even though I have a higher power in my life.:(

Hate, lack of forgiveness and acceptance are all fear. What makes us frightened these days that didn't 30 years ago? Maybe you grew up in a really great situation and didn't see the fear until recently. I mean, in 1942 we were fearful of the Japanese, put them into internment camps and took away their rights as American citizens, which probably scared them too.

My theory is that the media has changed and grown, becoming more than the morning paper or evening news. My advise, quit watching/reading the news and participating in the gossip it engenders. How will you know what's going on in the world? Is there something you must know, that you can't pick up getting through the check-out at the grocery store?

In some cases, hatred is the result of perceiving the other person as a threat; think of an employee’s hatred of his highly skilled colleague which will usually be the result of feeling that his colleague acts as a threat to his chances of advancement. You can apply this rule to almost all situations where hatred is found; that means that a person hates you because he sees you as a threat to his happiness, to his self confidence, or as a barrier to achieving his ambitions.

Sometimes when a person hates you it can means that you had or have a big impact on his or her life. If that person was confident enough, he/she would have been sure that you can’t affect his/her sense of wellbeing and wouldn’t have hated you.

Another strong reason for hatred is jealousy. Achieved too much or succeeding in doing what another person failed to do may cause him/her to hate you for it. Whether it was a career-related achievement or a social one, the result will be the same: this person will hate you just out of pure jealousy. If he/she was not jealous, he/she reaction would’ve been totally different. Mostly likely the opposite.

If your interests directly conflict with the interests of the other person, it can be one more cause for him to hate you. But do all people with conflicting interests hate each other? Of course not! Only those who lack confidence in their abilities hate rivals or competitors. If they were sure that their interests cannot be threatened, they would consider any rival with similar goals unimportant and so they wouldn’t have hated him.

Also, another reason that may make someone hate you is by you ignoring that person. By ignoring someone who is in need of social approval, he will hate you for your lack of attention to him/her. Such a person is not only in a weak position, he also lacks the self-confidence that would convince him that he doesn’t need others’ approval to be socially accepted.

Also think ignorance can be is a big part of hatred. The other big part is fear. Much hatred is fear-based. People fear what they do not know. That is how fear and ignorance result in hatred. That is why education is so important.

Then again some people just have hate in their blood. It could have been taught in their up bringing or just a learned behavior.

I hope my post can help shred some light.

Hate is a learned emotion, it is not one that we are born with.

You know I think the same thing a lot. I don't understand how people can hate one another so much. But the answer is complex. There's Jealousy, Ignorance, How we are raised as young children, Fear. There's so much more. But I think the root of it is how we are raised. If every parent tought their children to except different people, everyone and anyone, than our wolrd would be so much more peaceful.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennifer1010

You know I think the same thing a lot. I don't understand how people can hate one another so much. But the answer is complex. There's Jealousy, Ignorance, How we are raised as young children, Fear. There's so much more. But I think the root of it is how we are raised. If every parent tought their children to except differnt people, everyone and anyone, than our wolrd would be so much more peaceful.

That's true

I just can't find the separation between fear and other negative emotions.

If I were jealous of someone, for whatever reason, I would be jealous that they could take something away from me. Afraid that they could take away that which was mine.

If I lacked self-confidence and hated someone for not paying attention to me, hate would be a secondary, following my fear that I am not part of a socially accepted group. For any human the pain of loneliness is terrifying.

A person who hated because they were unaware of all the facts, ignorant, would be:

a) Unaware of why they were afraid, that learning could answer their questions,

b) Proud of their ignorance, pride is fear,

Or c) Brought up to reject any ideas not accepted by their upbringers. The people who raise such a person is afraid of differences. Being different causes a human to be alone, ostracized by varying degrees. A human, without the support of others is in a frightening position. Fear again.

Hate in their blood? Sure some are born with less ability to mitigate their own anger response. Anger however, is fear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by J_9

Hate is a learned emotion, it is not one that we are born with.

I definitely have to agree with you here J_9. My mother really had an impact on me, I was quite the angry child.

MRS.S

Simone if your 2 post was in reference to my post I would like to inform you that "hate in their blood" is a figure of speech and not to be taken seriously.

I think hate is a reaction born out of selfishness and anger and it destroys people. I think the human connection is the most important element of this life. People who hate, alienate themselves from other people and feel the most lonely. They seek and destroy but feel the most empty within. There is too much energy in the world with love.. to let hate win.