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I had a intense relationship with this bloke for 11months.then I called it off, because I was getting too attach to him . He use to text me everyday or call.
Now that we split he just doesn't want to see me or have anything to do with me.
I feel hurt , and I miss him a lot, I want him back but I don't know what to say and I think my pride is in the way.
I need some tips... I am not very good with relationships I think.:confused:
Well why would you call of a realationship because you were getting too attached? Do you have issues with being attached? (commitment phobia perhaps?)
I'm sorry to say but if he had dumped you would you want to be in contact with him? He is just looking out for himself and taking care of himself, he is probably hurt by this whole thing... and he is giving himself space and time to heal it seems by staying away from you.
You need to respect that. B/C you are the one who walked away, and sometimes we don't get to change our minds (i.e. when we do, we have to respect the fact that; that train has left the station and it might be too late to do anything about it)
I get that its hard to say that you've changed your mind, miss him and want him back; if you do you run the risk of being rejected. And HEY; rejection is not a particularly good feeling to deal with.
HOW long has it been since you broke up BTW?
I suggest you think about this and the impact this has made on him both in his life and emotionally. And If you want to tell him I guess you have to weight how much you miss him and how much you want him back; and then just flat out tell him. (but don't be selfish about this. It takes two to tango)
I broke up with him 2months ago.
No I don't have a issue with commitment, its because he never ever showed any affection towards me, didn't want to be seen in public with me.
The thing is he is driven by his reilgion and culture,he wanted me to change to his religion, didn't say it to me directly, but got me his holy book to read and study.
One of the major issues was that he found it so hard to communicate with me, would say thing in an indirect way.
I felt he was playing games with me.
Also he was 16 yrs younger than me and I was his 1st girlfriend , he has never had a relationship with a female, his culture doesn't not allow it.
It just got too much for me.
I guess the reason why I got so attach to him was, that I have only been in this country for 22 months and so has he ( funny huh) , he became my only friend.I use to help him with english.
He use to say odd things that made to wonder... couldn't quite understand him.
I know I have hurt him... but I guess its my loss.
I am very lonely .have not many friends, I guess that's why I miss him a lot.
You need to just let go. What you are experiencing isn't that uncommon (to miss someone and have second thoughts about your decision) but it seems like a good decision and you should just learn to accept it and let go.
This relationship didn't sound as if it was healthy... if he didn't even want to be seen with you AND he is 16 years younger than you.
Accept the decision you've made and move on. (this really might sound līke its easy for me to say, but seeing this from the outside, it doesn't seem like such a loss)
No its not your loss; he didn't show affection, didn't want to be seen with you and he was your only friend, this is your chance to go out and make new friends in this country. You might feel like its your loss, but it sounds to me like you made a good decision for you. and that is all that matters now. you looked after you.
Best of luck!
-Roxy
Since he is new to relationships as well he most likely saw your rejection of him as meaning you were done with him.Quote:
now that we split he just doesn't want to see me or have anything to do with me.
If this man can not commit to you due to his beliefs,I suggest that you find a man who can.
It would not be much of a relationship if you could not proceed with it.
There are always ways to meet people.Get out and join a club or organization.Go to places where there are people your age and be friendly.
Take a class and you will meet like minded people.I would let this relationship go and try to make new friends.
It was a tough call I made , but I had too... I haven't been intouch with him , but he called me last night, just to say "hi" and if I had found a "boyfriend"... strange I thought.Quote:
Originally Posted by roxypox
He says that he'll always be my friend, ( I don't have any hard feelings so I don't mind ).
Then he goes on to tell me that will go back to his country and find a bride and hopes he finds a decent girl.I really can't make him out.
Yes I will move on and hope I find someone who will love me for who I am.
Thanxs... roxy
Thanxs... yes I have to move on... its hard but I have no choice... funny how I always attract these men who are so driven by culture and beliefs.Quote:
Originally Posted by artlady
Yes I am taking a photography class soon , that will keep me busy.
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