I meet the guy of my dreams because he was so different from the rest.I love him so much it's hurting me to be without him.We were together a little over 4yrs(both at fault me a little more).But I love his family I talk to his mom and sister daily.And I even visit for long periods at a time so I don't know how it would go if he was to bring another female into the picture.This past yr has been an emotional wreck I have been praying about this issue.Im curious about it...

The best thing I can tell you is to keep your faith.you both may go your seapert ways for now but at the end it will all pay off if you truly love him it worth you just waiting patiently to see if that's who god has in stores for you.

That my friend is entirly up to you. Being as close to his family as you are is vary hard.

One thing to remember, all people are a like. We all bleed, we all breath, we all have basic needs: Physical needs like food, shelter, water, constant temperature. Belonging/ love. Freedom/ responsibilities(I don't believe people take enough responsibility, but niether do I so meh... ) Power/ significants. Fun.

I also believe that every one is a hypocrite at one point or another.

Anyway, you have to decide, will you get over your ex, or not? I admit staying friens with his family will be rather painful, at least for the next while, maybe a few months, maybe for ten years. You hve to decide what you want, and if what you are doing is helping or hindering...

"Some times we spend so much time looking at the doors that closed, we miss the doors that opened." - Unknown.

Try getting to know yourself, detatch yourself from him, and really learn to love you, forgive you, and Be just that you. Because I'm sure that there is a Beautiful, strong, confident, independent, smart, and fun/ funny women in you. Try to find that if you havent' already.

Take care of yourself. I know it's hard but some times we have to let go of that which we love, before we can find that which we love and are loved by.

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Originally Posted by rachelcuryy08

the best thing i can tell you is to keep your faith.you both may go your seapert ways for now but at the end it will all pay off if you truly love him it worth you just waiting patiently to see if thats who god has in stores for you.

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:confused:i kno but sometimes that is hard to do because i think about him often

:confused: thanks for the advice .you hit a lot of good points & i think i will just do me and make me happy.but i don't think that will mean i won't still think about him.idk i will take it day by day...

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Originally Posted by Nestorian

That my friend is entirly up to you. Being as close to his family as you are is vary hard.

One thing to remember, all people are a like. We all bleed, we all breath, we all have basic needs: Physical needs like food, shelter, water, constant temperature. Belonging/ love. Freedom/ responsibilities(I dont' believe people take enough responsibility, but niether do I so meh...) Power/ significants. Fun.

I also believe that every one is a hypocrite at one point or another.

Anywho, you have to decide, will you get over your ex, or not?? I admit staying friens with his family will be rather painful, at least for the next while, maybe a few months, maybe for ten years. You hve to decide whta you want, and if what you are doing is helping or hindering...

"Some times we spend so much time looking at the doors that closed, we miss the doors that opened." - Unknown.

Try getting to know yourself, detatch yourself from him, and really learn to love you, forgive you, and Be just that you. Because i'm sure that there is a Beautiful, strong, confident, independent, smart, and fun/ funny women in you. Try to find that if you havent' already.

Take care of yourself. I know it's hard but some times we have to let go of that which we love, before we can find that which we love and are loved by.

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Some times I think it be time to move on but we don't want to as people but just try finding something that you like doing and do it for you. Also I know you love us but I think that you shold not go around him. Stay away because you hurting yourself every time.

Be strong.

"We are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our worlds.

The thought manifest as the word, the word manifest as the deed, the deed develops into habit, and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and it's ways with care, and let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings.

Look with in, be still, free from fear and attachment. Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

Health and contentment are your greatest possessions, And freedom your greatest joy.

There is no fire like greed, no crime like hatred, no sorrow like separation, no sickness like hunger of heart, and no joy like the joy of freedom.

You yourself, as much as any one in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

Believe nothing no matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if I said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense. " - Buddha

These ideas may be hard to understand, but take your time, and try to understand them, and also take some time for you to just go out with friends, or to go for a walk/ run/ exercise because those are very healthy and generat happyness. No literally, being active in those activities makes the brain generate endorphines, which help serotonin (which makes us "feel" happyness.) to be dispersed to our brain and also acts as a natural pain killer. The point is if you force yourself to get in to shape and keep it up you will feel better about yourself.

Then if you try to understand the above phrases, you may begin to see what it is you are looking for, and how to obtain it... Feel free to try other methods, such as praying, meditaion, slef affrimation, or even Goal setting and using imagination to visualise your objectives. The imagination is a part of all of those, and they all set you up for acheving your desired goals, but be mindful that they are only useful on botainable goals and things you are in control of. Ok.

I hope this helps you a bit more. Keep holding in there, we have all felt that at one time or another, the lost and empty feeling after some one leaves us.

Peace and kindness be with you.

:)thanks soooooooo much for all that you have told me!

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Originally Posted by nestorian

be strong.

"we are what we think, all that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make our worlds.

The thought manifest as the word, the word manifest as the deed, the deed develops into habit, and habit hardens into character. So watch the thought and it’s ways with care, and let it spring from love, born out of concern for all beings.

Look with in, be still, free from fear and attachment. Know the sweet joy of living in the way.

Health and contentment are your greatest possessions, and freedom your greatest joy.

there is no fire like greed, no crime like hatred, no sorrow like separation, no sickness like hunger of heart, and no joy like the joy of freedom.

You yourself, as much as any one in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.

believe nothing no matter where you read it, no matter who said it, no matter if i said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and common sense. " - buddha

these ideas may be hard to understand, but take your time, and try to understand them, and also take some time for you to just go out with friends, or to go for a walk/ run/ exercise because those are very healthy and generat happyness. No literally, being active in those activities makes the brain generate endorphines, which help serotonin (which makes us "feel" happyness.) to be dispersed to our brain and also acts as a natural pain killer. The point is if you force yourself to get in to shape and keep it up you will feel better about yourself.

Then if you try to understand the above phrases, you may begin to see what it is you are looking for, and how to obtain it... Feel free to try other methods, such as praying, meditaion, slef affrimation, or even goal setting and using imagination to visualise your objectives. The imagination is a part of all of those, and they all set you up for acheving your desired goals, but be mindful that they are only useful on botainable goals and things you are in control of. Ok.

I hope this helps you a bit more. Keep holding in there, we have all felt that at one time or another, the lost and empty feeling after some one leaves us.

Peace and kindness be with you.

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Originally Posted by ibrown

:)thanks soooooooo much for all that you have told me!

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You are welcome. Take care my friend.

I think your first step is to leave his family alone for a while, so you can cut the ties that bind you to his life. I know, your attached to them, but they are a reminder of better times, and will keep those feeling stirred up inside yourself.

Its not that easy to stop talkn to his fam they have became mine... they love me and I love them.but I wabt to have a talk with them about tha situation.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

i think your first step is to leave his family alone for a while, so you can cut the ties that bind you to his life. i know, your attached to them, but they are a reminder of better times, and will keep those feeling stirred up inside yourself.

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You must decide if the relationship and the benefits of keeping the relationship are also keeping you from truly healing from the breakup.

There may very well come a time when there will be another woman in his life and their life and they may like her as well as they do you.

You should prepare yourself for that possibility and consider how it will affect you emotionally.

You are not emotionally moving forward from this man and to hang on is just prolonging your pain.

I understand you do not want to sever ties with your acquired family but you should come up with a plan that will help you to move on emotionally.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ibrown

Its not that easy to stop talkn to his fam they have became mine...they love me and i love them.but i wabt to have a talk with them about tha situation.

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I've had friends who have been super close to their ex's family. The took time away from them too, most never really got to be close to them again, but one did. She still needed the time to collect her self, so she could handle her Ex's relations with other women. He came on to her once, and she totally shot him down so bad and his family didn't feel bad at all, since he was being rude, and she was a very nice girl.

Just let them know you need to go find yourself, and regroup. You know? Give yourself some You time, and to heal. Take care of yourself.

:confused:i kno trust i have thought about all of that... and it hurts to even think about it

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Originally Posted by artlady

You must decide if the relationship and the benefits of keeping the relationship are also keeping you from truly healing from the breakup.

There may very well come a time when there will be another woman in his life and their life and they may like her as well as they do you.

You should prepare yourself for that possibility and consider how it will affect you emotionally.

You are not emotionally moving forward from this man and to hang on is just prolonging your pain.

I understand you do not want to sever ties with your acquired family but you should come up with a plan that will help you to move on emotionally.

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:confused:ima try to see about what i need to do... its killn me to even think about him and anoher female wit me talkn to tha fam

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Originally Posted by Nestorian

I've had friends who have been super close to thier ex's family. The took time away from them too, most never really got to be close to them again, but one did. She still needed the time to collect her self, so she could handle her Ex's relations with other women. He came on to her once, and she totally shot him down so bad and his family didnt' feel bad at all, since he was being rude, and she was a very nice girl.

Just let them know you need to go find yourself, and regroup. You know?? Give yourself some You time, and to heal. Take care of yourself.

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Originally Posted by ibrown

:confused:I KNO TRUST I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT ALL OF THAT...AND IT HURTS TO EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

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I know it hurts and you will hurt after a break-up.Its part of the stages of grief that we go through,and you must go through to heal from it.

You are just putting off the inevitable. You can't heal that way.

The reason that people give the advice for no contact is so you can begin to move on.That should include no contact with the family.

After you are emotionally free from this man,then you may very well be able to resume your friendship with the family but for now ,you need to separate yourself so you can begin the work of healing.

:confused:well we shall see how it works out... ill keep you updated

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Originally Posted by artlady

I know it hurts and you will hurt after a break-up.Its part of the stages of grief that we go through,and you must go through to heal from it.

You are just putting off the inevitable. You can't heal that way.

The reason that people give the advice for no contact is so you can begin to move on.That should include no contact with the family.

After you are emotionally free from this man,then you may very well be able to resume your friendship with the family but for now ,you need to separate yourself so you can begin the work of healing.

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Originally Posted by ibrown

:confused:WELL WE SHALL SEE HOW IT WORKS OUT...ILL KEEP YOU UPDATED

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You never know when you'll meet some one else with a family you love. When we try to hold on to something we care about but it hurts. IT's like trying to hold on to a steel pipe with the far end in a fire. You'll feel safe with it, but if you hang on too long, you'll get burned.

It is your choice, don't let us stop you, but do please be cafeful.

May peace and kindness be with you.

I have an update... I am feeling better about the situation.Yes I still love him but I am putting me first I don't even really think about him as often as I was at first.No I didn't stop talking to his family but I haven't been visiting like I was at first.

That's progress in the right direction. It does take time.