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-   -   Is this normal in Marriage? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=334802)

  • Mar 27, 2009, 11:34 PM
    Kila Malia
    Is this normal in Marriage?
    I have been with a guy 12 some years and married almost 10 years. OK we are both BI and in our early dating and Marriage we have went to nudest camps. And he had let me have sex with other men. To be honest at first I thought it was cool that my husband let me do this. He told me that its OK to be with others as long as you have safe sex. He says he wan's me to be happy and he don't want to be controlling to me like his other 3 wives. I am really confused. I wounder if he really loves me when that was happening or he lets me do this cause he don't care and love me. I haven been with another man for about 4 years. I have changed and just don't want to do that anymore. I have told a few people about this and they say it is wrong. He really is a great person! He protects me, don't abuse me. But is it wrong for him to let me do this? He asked me last week if we could go to this camp again this summer. I told him I really don't want to. But it is hard to tell him I don't enjoy that anymore because I did use to do it. I think I did this to make him happy sometimes. I have even told him this that I do it sometimes to just make him happy. Am I a bad person because I do like the idea that I can be with men even though I don't want to? Am I a bad person to let this happen? I guess I don't know right from wrong in this section.

    :confused:
  • Mar 27, 2009, 11:52 PM
    sarah63

    Well it is not for me to judge you but I wouldn't be with other men if I was married and I do find it a bit weird that your husband allows this but well, we are all different. Why don't you talk with him about this, tell him exactly what you said here, after all it is important to be honest with your partner to avoid more problems. Just tell him that you used to enjoy it but not anymore so you would rather not go this time. Tell him that that doesn't mean he is controlling or you but you just don't like it anymore. I hope that helps, good luck!
  • Mar 28, 2009, 12:02 AM
    Kila Malia
    :oThanks for you feedback! I will try talking to him again. If he truly loves me he would understand
  • Mar 28, 2009, 07:40 AM
    Rich11111

    Does he have sex with other women or men as well? He could want you to have sex with other men so he can have other partners also. He could still love you and just want an open marriage.

    If not, there are some guys that do love their wives yet still don't mind or even get off from their wives being with other men. I personally never would but some guys do.

    As sarah63 said the only way you can know and solve this problem is to talk to him.
  • Mar 29, 2009, 01:08 AM
    Kila Malia
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Rich11111 View Post
    Does he have sex with other women or men as well? He could want you to have sex with other men so he can have other partners also. He could still love you and just want an open marriage.

    If not, there are some guys that do love their wives yet still don't mind or even get off from their wives being with other men. I personally never would but some guys do.

    As
    sarah63
    said the only way you can know and solve this problem is to talk to him.

    Thanks for your replay! No he don't have sex with women. Just men and of
    course
    me. But we do have safe sex since he does mess around but he
    don't
    do it everyday. Yes he does call it a open
    marriage
    .

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