Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend attempts suicide when I try braking up

My girlfriend attempts suicide when I try braking up

It's been a while since I've tried to brake up with my girlfriend. I can't never actually achieve it because she sort of threatens me that she will kill herself because she can't live without me. So this past time I tried braking up thinking she really wouldn't do anything, she did. She cut her wrist and was bleeding. It truly freaked me out, especially knowing she has heart problems. As a result, I went back with her.

My reason for trying to brake up with her is because she cheated on me a while ago with a 13 year old (she's 19) and lately everything has been arguments after arguments. I've become extremely jealous, and I simply need my space.

I don't want her to do anything to herself, but I don't want to be with her either. What do I do?

You are not responsible for her and her behavior. Nothing is to be gained by staying with her because she has you wrapped in the chains of guilt.

Does she cut herself when you are with her? Then stay away from her and have absolutely no contact with her by PM or text or cell.

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Originally Posted by Wondergirl

You are not responsible for her and her behavior. Nothing is to be gained by staying with her because she has you wrapped in the chains of guilt.

Does she cut herself when you are with her? Then stay away from her and have absolutely no contact with her by PM or text or cell.

But I'm scared that she'll end up killing herself if I have absolutely no contact..

What if she kills herself and I'm over here wondering since she keeps threating me.

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Originally Posted by rippedinside

but I'm scared that she'll end up killing herself if I have absolutely no contact..

So you are her emotional slave? How is that working for you?

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what if she kills herself and I'm over here wondering since she keeps threating me.

When I ended things with my boyfriend of six years, he threatened suicide. He was a farmer and I knew he was very capable of doing it, and had all the tools/means to do it with.

He didn't commit suicide, but ended up marrying a distant cousin within a year. Yes, he could have committed suicide, but I refused to live my life twisted up in his emotions.

Make the break clean -- no going back and forth (intermittent reinforcement). Absolutely no contact. Totally ignore her. Give her absolutely no response to any of her efforts to contact you. Do not "feel sorry" for her and give in.

Do not read any emails or PMs from her or listen to any phone messages. Delete all with no listening or reading. Do not talk with relatives or friends about her. If her name comes up, change the subject immediately. She is no longer in any part of your life.

Report her to a Psychiatric hospital... They'll take care of her, so you don't have to... If she slept with a 13 year old, believe me she needs to be there.. Get that sicko off the streets..!

Quote:

Originally Posted by rippedinside

It's been a while since I've tried to brake up with my gf. I can't never actually achieve it because she sort of threatens me that she will kill herself because she can't live without me. So this past time I tried braking up thinking she really wouldn't do anything, she did. She cut her wrist and was bleeding. It truly freaked me out, especially knowing she has heart problems. As a result, I went back with her.

You, or her family preferably need to get her to a psychiatric facility. You are not helping her by staying with her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rippedinside

My reason for trying to brake up with her is because she cheated on me a while ago with a 13 year old (she's 19) and lately everything has been arguments after arguments. I've become extremely jealous, and I simply need my space.

:eek::eek::eek::eek::eek::eek: Sorry you what? 13?? With a 19 year old woman? Oh my god!

Report her to the cops for having sexual relations with a 13 year old boy. That would get rid of her. She deserves the same treatment like all the other perverts. It's unfair for guys to be sitting in jail for this crime while she ain't.

Report her then leave her alone. You need to have your own piece of mind.

She messed up not you. She was the one that cheated with a 13 year old , not you (think God).

I would just move on and let her be and let her do what eva she do you know we are responsible for our oun actions. That's me

Listen: this girl has some serious issues and they are her issues, she is the one that is messed up and not you! I will actually go as far as saying that the things she is threatening and have done (like cutting her wrist) is mental abuse and you need to get out!

She actually slept with a 13 year old... have you had a post about this before? It was a 13 year old girl right?

Your GF need some serious help, no matter what her reasons are for sleeping with the 13 year old... it ain't going to be good enough!

Whatever she threatens to do and have done, that is not your responsibility and like the others have said: you do have options:

1. you can leave and break all contact! /which is a MUST with a person like this, you should have NO CONTACT! Don't answer Texts, the phone etc. Don't have her on your Facebook or myspace if you have such an account.

2. you can report her to s psychiatric facility.

3. what is her family like? And do you are you on a good footing with them? Because then you might need to tell them. Although, it might be uncomfortable. You could tell them that she is suicidal and needs help NOW

4. You could report her to the police. Although there might be an issue with evidence if both your GF and the 13 year old denies is.

So your girl can cheat on you and that's okay.

So your girl can argue with you and that's okay.

So you can leave her and she'll cut herself and that's okay.

This chick is got her whole act down. She punishes herself, and those around her. If those around her try to leave she punishes them with guilt. I know this is going to sound heartless but I'd dump her and if she threatens suicide tell her "while you can do, but I want you to know I'm not going feel bad for you, nor am I'm going to feel guilty about it, so it will all be for nothing." Then leave and never speak to her again.

Hey Guys,

Thanks for your comments.

Yes, my girlfriend slept with a 13 year old girl. & it wasn't a one night stand or something, like she CHEATED. She had a total complete relationship with this other girl. Had sex with her multiple times.

And as far as her family, they're pretty weird in my book..

Her family knew she was cheating on me with a 13 year old, and her family knows about the suicide thing, but they don't really help much. They just leave it to, "that's her life."

I really do need to let go of her. I think it's easier to say "I'll leave and not feel guilty" than actually do it.

I will try my best to completely end it.

I have tried to commit suicide also, but I have done it out of my wants and mistakes only, I haven't made my boyfriend feel guilty because he gets mad at me for t. he helps me through it. In your case you need to do what your heart tells you (sounds corny I know) but seriously, if it says to leave her because your not happy tell her. Tell her your not happy with her decisions and it makes you not want to be with her.

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Originally Posted by rippedinside

Yes, my gf slept with a 13 year old girl. & it wasn't a one night stand or something, like she CHEATED. She had a total complete relationship with this other girl. Had sex with her multiple times.

In those four sentences I find 4 reasons you should be dumping this girl, how come you haven't found one?

This isn't about her anymore, this is about you? Why are you punishing yourself by being with this girl? Honestly, I realize this sounds bad, but if my ex did what you describe above I'd be saying, "go ahead, whatever it takes to get you out of my life." You are enabling this behavior. Because you refuse to put your foot down, she emotionally abuses you and you just put up with it.

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Originally Posted by rippedinside

And as far as her family, they're pretty weird in my book..

This surprises literally nobody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rippedinside

Her family knew she was cheating on me with a 13 year old, and her family knows about the suicide thing, but they don't really help much. They just leave it to, "that's her life."

That's impressive. So now her family has never given her any boundries and she's a lesbian having a sexual relationship with a 13 year old while cheating on her boyfriend who knows but has the attitude, "that's her life."

Behavior repeats itself. From her parents to you, nobody ever put there foot down and said, "you do not get to disrespect me or there will be consquences." Just let her live her life and if anybody says something different, she'll go to extremes to get her way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rippedinside

I really do need to let go of her. I think it's easier to say "I'll leave and not feel guilty" than actually do it.

I will try my best to completely end it.

What do you mean, you'll do your best? Just do it. You are not happy, this is not a relationship, and she's not worth the headache. If you died today, do you think she'd be as lost and confused about you as you make her out to be, or do you think she'd look for some other guy right away who puts up with this. Come on, this is a no brainer.

I have to seriously ask, what is wrong with you that makes you put up with this? You have something in your brain that allows others to take advantage of you to the point that you are afraid to leave them. You obviously have a lot to offer a girl in that you do care about there problems, but you also have to set the boundries for when there problems stay with them and when you start to assume them.

When I was younger I was like you always helping a girl solve a problem, but I noticed they kept on doing the same thing and repeating the complaint. I used to think, "the more I help her solve this, the more she'll appreciate me." How wrong I was. The more I helped, the more help she would need for something else. Then it just swirls out of control and low and behold the nice guy is dumped. But even I wouldn't stand for a lesbian cheating on me with a 13 year old. Finally I developed my own rule. If they complain about something offer them a solution one time. That's it. If they complain about it anymore without having taken any resolution towards it, I tell the girl to go complain to someone else. You call it rude. I call it putting my foot down. My life is to short, and for the most part to happy to start assuming other peoples supposed problems when they won't do anything for themselves. If someone makes a geniune attempt to correct themselves and fails, I'm still there. If they want to b!tch non stop but do nothing about they got the wrong guy. That's the difference.

You have to set up your own guidelines. Right now you have none. You have no obligation to this girl. Not one. You have done more then you should be required to, and all you get is a guilt trip. That's not a relationship. That's an emotional prison sentence and for some reason you are choosing to stay there when you have the key to the prison.

Being held hostage by a lying, cheating, pervert, child molester, make no frakking sense. Not to sound cruel, but walk away, and don't look back.

Otherwise your as sick, and twisted, as she is. Walk a healthier, happier path. She needs a lot of help, or better yet, be locked up, maybe so do you.

She is blackmailing you and you are allowing it.
You are not responsible for her or her idle threats.Just because she did a little cutting to be dramatic does not mean she will kill herself.
In my state if someone threatens suicide they can be put into a hospital for a mandatory 72 hour evaluation.Tell her that you are calling your state mental health facility.
That should stop her in her tracks.
You may also want to tell her parents.

She really sounds as if she is bipolar. Leave now while you can get out. It won't get any easier as you have found out.

All I can think of is there is only one victim here.

You have perpetuated this situation, but this poor 13 year old girl. Not only is she at a young impressionable age, apparently there are MANY people around this situation that aren't standing up for her.

Leave this girl, what she does following a break up is not your responsibility, she is using this to keep you and only followed through because you hadn't jumped to be back with her yet. It's a cry for help, but it is not one that you are responsible for.

Please someone in this situation, has to stand up for the little girl.