I need a little advice and some opinions on this matter.
I have been single for almost 5 months now, and although I am enjoying being single and recovering from a very serious relationship and difficult breakup, there are times I will see or meet a guy that I want to talk to, and maybe see where it could go. I can usually tell when someone is interested in me, and we will make eye contact and then a friend of mine or the guys will come over or we will have to part ways- like on a bus or train or something. My question is how do you move from eye contact to a conversation? Im pretty outgoing when it comes to new people but if it's a guy I find attractive that I think might also feel this way about me, I panic and just wait for him to get the nerve to come over. How can I go to him and initiate a conversation in an attractive manner?

A confident guy should just come over and initiate a conversation with you. But like you, not all guys are confident. I have been getting better at it, but I'm certainly not one to walk over to someone on a bus and start talking.

He probably has the same concerns as you about initiating the conversation. It is easier said then done but I would just take a chance and go over and talk. Hey, if it is on a bus or train you may never see them again so who cares if they show no interest and you're a little embarrassed.

Have something funny to say maybe. Most guys (or at least all the ones I know) are into sport. Maybe you could read the daily paper and mention something about last nights ball game. I don't know really. Just have something to talk about. If he is interested then he will make sure the conversation continues one way or another. Once the ice is broken everything will be fine.

You'll never ever know, if you never ever go.

Disarming confessions always work but only if you are really good at telling the truth AND laughing at yourself...

Example: "I am guessing I would love to start a conversation with you but don't really know what to begin with. Any ideas?"

I'm one of those guys can't stat conv with girl after eye contact... but maybe the girl can give me some hints by a smile and walking the sameway maybe it helps the guy to start...
Good luck...

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Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

Disarming confessions always work but only if you are really good at telling the truth AND laughing at yourself....

Example: "I am guessing I would love to start a conversation with you but don't really know what to begin with. Any ideas?"

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Two things. First I'm a guy and I'm terrified of starting a coversation with a woman. I'm never sure if I'm bothering them or if there just talking to me to pass the time. Yeah it comes down to confidence which I'm lacking some of. This guy maybe as well. If anybody has any ideas on how to fix that for both sexes please put up some examples.

Second, Val, that is a great converstation starter. I even laughed reading it and tried to rate you but I got a message that said I must pass my ratings around.

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Originally Posted by chuff

Two things. First I'm a guy and I'm terrified of starting a coversation with a woman. I'm never sure if I'm bothering them or if there just talking to me to pass the time. Yeah it comes down to confidence which I'm lacking some of. This guy maybe as well. If anybody has any ideas on how to fix that for both sexes please put up some examples.

Second, Val, that is a great converstation starter. I even laughed reading it and tried to rate you but I got a message that said I must pass my ratings around.

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Thanks Chuff. The thing is... it is born out the realization that we are all basically more alike than not; that we all tend to hide the VERY things about ourselves that are so universal-- some may do so more successfully than others but still... underneath, we are the same. Same fears, same tears, same understanding, same comforts, same joys, same lessons. :p

And its also from my own lessons learned and now experiences too that each of our unique and deeply personal "truths" are indeed profound, so when I speak from mine, it is powerful and when you speak from yours it is equally powerful. Nobody can negate that power more than you about yours so once you stop negating it, its very difficult for the world to stop you! This is one of the many spin-off advantages to that old adage: Know thyself! It really means "know thyself and be powerful by being authentic".

Do think saying do your legs hurt? Cause you have been running through my mind all day would work? I think I get all quite and forget even the most simple things Im supposed to say or ask when even near a person I find attractive, wondering if bringing along notes is bad thing? What about meeting someone at the gym, you see them 2 times a week maybe, maybe you don't see them for long time, DO you run over and say hiya nod from distance or sit and wish you were working out along side of them? What if you run into them at the store admire what's in their shopping cart? When you get older little harder to make conversation without feeling like your coming across as you want to. How to get from conversation to date? I'm female so asking a guy out really big leap for me.

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Originally Posted by rume

I think I get all quite and forget even the most simple things Im supposed to say or ask when even near a person I find attractive, wondering if bringing along notes is bad thing? .

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In a humorous situation that would actually be pretty funny and I could see getting a big kick out of that. If you were serious then I would be turned off right away.

I like when guy stops ask me a question? Exp "Do you know what kind of music would help me sleep better at night?" Im standing in music area of walmart caught me off but started big conversation. This guy was serious he had on cast to his neck looked like person who wouldn't be able to sleep.
Chuff That was a joke, But I have went totally blank when with some one I find attractive. I think I even turned like red at the thoughts going through my mind. Its at that moment I close my eyes for sec to try and hide any thoughts that might be showing on my face.

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Originally Posted by rume

Chuff That was a joke, But I have went totally blank when with some one I find attractive. I think i even turned like red at the thoughts going through my mind. Its at that moment I close my eyes for sec to try and hide any thoughts that might be showing on my face.

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Yeah I have done the same thing. In fact, I used to go by that phrase just be yourself but I'm realizing there's a language to love. I'm learning myself at an attempt to speak it.

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Originally Posted by valinors_sorrow

Disarming confessions always work but only if you are really good at telling the truth AND laughing at yourself....

Example: "I am guessing I would love to start a conversation with you but don't really know what to begin with. Any ideas?"

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Sorry val, got to "spread the rep" around before the greenie police let me agree with you.

Great suggestion. Nice ice breaker without being a dumb line. Its like the anti-line line. Like it.

Haha... If all else fails just say soemthing stupid... was a line I used... of course I used it on an intellectual type and there was just silnce... I wastalking about when trying to get ome one to laugh,. YOu could try the whole oh no I seemed to have fallen on you... ;P but that's kind of cheesy... yea talking to really cute guys is hard... try starting with less cute guys and work your way up. I say just ask something stupid like really stupid... " So did those pants comewith that suite?" and then laugh and see what happens.
**laughs** if you're the kind who is into premarital sex... you could try these smokin lines >.< " You must be a pyro because you set me on fYYAH!!!!(fire)" or " You look liek the type of stud I'd like to screw"
>.<
Or you can use the ones that I will ataully use... " I am so hitting on you right now...." and this one " This ismy pic up line :D

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Originally Posted by chuff

I'm realizing there's a language to love. I'm learning myself at an attempt to speak it.

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Lesson please! Or give me example of this love language. :p