5 threads merged for the whole picture



Hello me and this girl have been together for 5 months it's a high school realationship and she is younger... today I told her that I wish she could try more in our relationship and that to not always put her friends before me and manage time for me... well turns out the choice of words I used were not good.. we now are on a break and I'm just really confused I could picture myself with this girl for a while I just don't understand what I should do? I tried appoligizing and telling her that she is perfect in everyway she says that she needs time to think and she isn't mature enough for me how can I change all this or should I just give up?

I have been in a relationship like this, I vote you move on, no girl is worth it if she doent make time/want to spend time with you. You have been fair enough with her by seeing a problem and telling her what you see, and it looks like she didn't care, so if she doesn't care about how you feel and take into some connsiderations(sp?) some things you ask then she isn't worth it

Give her a week to think, maybe you scared her with all of this slightly serious talk, if she hasn't come back to you, or if there's no progress... it's time to start moving on.

Should I contact her or should I wait till she contacts me?

Wait let her contact you if that's what she wants to do. Don't make a fool out of yourself for anyone.

If she doesn't come back, plenty more in the sea that will appreciate you, for you.

Leave her alone, as I think she wanted a break up, any way.

K basically I have been dating this girl for quite some time and the last couple weeks have been rough I feel like were not as close as we used to be... like I'm a affectionate guy and am truly committed to a relationship... I don't no who is to blame of this but she told me her feelings haven't changed towards me its just that were dating and we only see each other once a week and this bothers me... also I'm the one who's always asking her to do things.. and when she tells me she has other things to do I'm always getting rejected to see her so I get angry about the situation.. I think I'm more into the relationship then she is.. is this bad?

How old are you guys?

How about this time you let her make the plans- your always doing them and she declines. So for the next week don't plan anything, it's up to her now to make the date.

There's other things to life than girlfriends and boyfriends you know. Go out with friends, get a job [if you don't have one already], volunteer, just get out of the house.

Sarah

K ill do that but I have a feeling she won't ask me until I make the first move.. then what?lol

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Originally Posted by heartbreakkid13

k ill do that but i have a feeling she wont ask me untill i make the first move..then what?lol

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Don't make the first move. Relationships are 50/50. You'll get bored, annoyed and eventually angry with her because you're the one doing all the work.

Sarah

"im a affectionate guy and am truly commited to a relationship"

I think that says a lot. You probably come on way too strong. Not to mention, that says committed to a relationship, not to her. I am guessing that you are like that in all your relationships.

She says that her feelings haven't changed, but who knows if that's true? Something has obviously changed. I can tell you that it is never good when the guy is more into the relationship than the girl. You may come across as jealous, controlling, or worse, needy. None of these are good, or attractive qualities. And there are really only two reasons that she would constantly turn you down when you ask her on dates. She is either really busy, or just not that into you. Actually three if you are teenagers and she is concerned that you may be pressuring her into sex. In any case, putting more pressure on her will not improve the situation.

What you need to do. Stop talking to her about the relationship. If there is a problem then you are most likely making it worse. You have tried, now let it go. You need to stop thinking so much about the relationship. Accept the fact that that it may not last and just enjoy dating. If she is content with going out once a week, then only ask her out once a week. If she says no, and doesn't suggest another night (without you asking), then don't ask her out again until the next week. Do not keep giving her opportunities to reject you. If she turns you down a few weeks in a row, then it's probably time to move on. When/if you do go out, be relaxed, casual, and fun, like when you first started dating. No relationship pressure. If things get better, great. If not, time to consider moving on.

Thanks everyone for the help above... but we broke up last night... and now I'm just lost like I no it takes time to get over a person but is there anything that helps it go by faster?

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Originally Posted by heartbreakkid13

thanks everyone for the help above....but we broke up last night...and now im just lost like i no it takes time to get over a person but is there anything that helps it go by faster?

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Keep busy.

Here is a link a sticky that may help you:
List of things to do after a breakup


AMHD is here for support.
Sarah

K so lol were back together.. but we agreed that things are going to change and were going to not start so serious... does anyone have any suggestion for the round 2

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Originally Posted by heartbreakkid13

k so lol were back togehter..but we agreed that things are going to change and were gonna not start off so serious...does anyone have any suggestion for the round 2

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Take it slow. Communicate well. Respect and trust each other. Move on from your past problems and don't bring up past mistakes.

Sarah

I once had a girlfriend like that. She was totally emotionless and we saw each other once a week as well. I had to do all the planning. If I didn't call her, she wouldn't call me. Obviously it didn't end well. We had to break up, I couldn't take it.

Is she your first serious girlfriend? The thing is, your personalities don't match. You can't force her to be someone she's not. You can tell her how you feel about her not taking the initiative enough. You can take it slow all you want. But the thing is, if she doesn't have it in her, you can't force it out of her. She is who she is. So you got to decide if you can accept her personality the way it is or find someone who matches you better.

So she broke it off with you then wanted to get back together so now the two of you are back on again.

Maybe the two of you should try to be friends first before the two of you start dating. Get to know one another first and then build a foundation from that. Otherwise I just see the two you breaking up then getting back together again. Being part of this yo-yo cycle is very unhealthy.

Also, I must ask "Did the two of you express your feeling to eachother that lead to the break-up? If so, did you come up with a solution?". Also, you never answer the "how old are you" question.

Iunno if she's like that.she cares and shows emotion... like when were together things are fine... just were both tennagers... her parents are really strict and I no that's not her fault she can't go out all the time... its just I'm having a hard time accepting that... and seeing the girl you like a lot only once a week... it bothers me... like how do you become closer to the person with the little time you get together?. maybe things will be different for the summer I really don't know.

Ohh and we have been friends for a while!

K so I have girls that are my friends and we sometimes hang out... should I be upset that my girlfriend is hanging out with a guy... I trust her but I guess its just the thought of her being with someone else... am I just being overprotective?