Have you ever gotten tired of everyone around you (friends, family, co-workers, lovers, anyone and everyone) and felt that you want to be alone? It's not that you don't like them, and you certainly think that relationships are important to you, but you're just really tired of maintaining these relationships in your life.

Over the past year, I've been having this feeling, and I don't know how to get over this phase where I hate being around people, but then I still go out and see them because I feel that it's my responsibility to maintain these relationships. On the other hand, I don't want them to know about this feeling that I have because I know these people are important to me and I don't want to hurt their feelings or have them worry about me. I act completely normal when I'm around them, but afterwards when I'm alone I get upset and feel so exhausted. I just can't explain why I'm unhappy.

I think I need help because I've been struggling over this feeling for too long. Can you analyze this and tell me what is it that I want? Is this just a phase that everyone goes through at some point in life? For sure I'm not sick or depressed because I am still able to pin-point exactly how I feel, or am I?

If you can't take care of yourself then you can't take care of anyone else. Some people drain you no matter how much they love you. Go be alone and do the things that make YOU happy. Then, spend a little on them. BUT, don't feel guilty as I think we all go through this. I have and I had to learn that my happieness comes before I can make anyone else happy.

First of all, how do you feel when you are alone? Do you enjoy your own company and like to read, cook, meditate, garden? Have your surrounded yourself with people that expect too much of you and you cannot say no to them? They take too much energy and time.

I have found it to be a very important part of my self-care to balance solitude against socializing, lest I find myself feeling exactly as you have outlined here. Solitude recharges my batteries and I also limit my social exposure to difficult people too. Some relationships are not worth maintaining for me but that is just me-- quality rather than quantity?

Yes I have felt this way in the past and I feel this way now. I want to be alone but I still go to activities with friends. There is no pressure to go out and have fun. I just don't hang out late. I enjoy the time I have with friends and know when to say goodnight when I am ready to go. I then have time to myself. Sometimes my family wants me to help them with their projects and I can't always do that because of my schedule. So, I let them know I wish I could help but I'm to busy right now so you need to find someone else. Or, I could take a day off work and you will have to pay me and I will be there to help all day. Sometimes people ask a lot of me and I only give them what I can handle. People have a way of manipulating you to do stuff for them and you have to just be aware that it can happen. Don't commit unless you have the time. Your time is very valuable.

I advise everyone to take time to themselves - always. It's imnportant.

But no, you should not feel this way. Friends and family and lovers and co-workers are really, really important.

Being social is important.

You probably are an introvert right now? I might suggest going to a therapist who can HELP you work this out. I strongly recommend this.

Val - I didn't mean it that way - but he is struggling being with loved ones.

We're not analysts here but we can certainly give you suggestions. For starters it's good and normal to want some alone time. However, if being with other people always makes you feel so upset and exhausted all the time then you may indeed be suffering from depression or some type of chemical imbalance requiring medication. Being able to take about and describe you feelings doesn't mean that you're not necessarily suffering from depression as denial is not a universal symptom of depression. It's good that you are able to talk about and describe your feelings and that's a step in the right direction. However I feel that you need to consult a physician and see if antidepressant medication is right for you.