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-   -   Don't judge me (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=334131)

  • Mar 26, 2009, 07:44 AM
    ashears
    Don't judge me
    I think I want me and my boyfriend to have a threesome. I never tried this before. How do tell him about this. Is this a good idea or not?:):)
  • Mar 26, 2009, 07:48 AM
    neverme

    You need to be very secure in your relationship in order to have a threesome.

    Were thinking with a male or with a female?
  • Mar 26, 2009, 08:27 AM
    ashears

    Female and I just want to try it out one time. I have never been with a female before
  • Mar 26, 2009, 08:31 AM
    artlady

    As has been said you need to be very secure in your relationship.

    It is very easy to get jealous when your partner may be giving extra attention to the new addition.

    There is always the chance that he may decide to hook up with her afterward.

    Arm yourself with knowledge and be sure that you have a clear plan of what you expect to happen and what the boundaries should be.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 08:52 AM
    bronzebabe

    I will tell you what I know about these three somes. They are a very bad idea. Usually when you introduce another person into a relationship, there is conflict. Do you really want your man having sex with her? What if he likes her? What if he Leaves you for her? Think it over.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:03 AM
    neverme

    I don't think this is the best of ideas really.

    As a bisexual woman, I understand the want or desire to try/be with a woman.

    However, I think that you need to think really long and hard, although your boyfriend might not have a problem with this, you might when you see him getting his rocks off with her after your done.

    Think about it long and hard. Be honest with your boyfriend.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:03 AM
    excon
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ashears View Post
    How do tell him about this. Is this a good idea or not?:):)

    Hello ash:

    If you have a girl in mind, and it's cool with her, then when he comes home from work, the two of you should meet him at the door, very scantily dressed.

    He'll catch on.

    Is it a good idea?? I couldn't say.

    excon
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:06 AM
    Justwantfair

    This is a horrible idea no matter how secure you are in the relationship or how secure you are with your partner.

    Threesome create jealousy challenges that MANY relationships CANNOT handle.

    Are you willing to give up a relationship for one night of what might be a good time?

    You will be giving up the relationship.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:06 AM
    JasMan1249
    Relationships are complicated. Adding another person into the relationship (even for one night) complicates things further, for all the reasons stated above and more. Group sex can be fun but only when all the individuals are there for the same reasons and all share the same "understanding".
    I am also uncomfortable with the idea that you want to "use" someone for just one night. I hope that you make it clear to the women you are bringing into your bed what you are looking for.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:28 AM
    Synnen

    I know people who have managed swinging, and threesomes, with no problem.

    I know a lot MORE people whose relationships were utterly and completely destroyed by it.

    You have to absolutely, completely, unequivocally trust your partner to do this. Period. There can be absolutely no wavering on this.

    If you can't handle the thought of him at a strip club, or don't like porn in your house, or have EVER thought about whether he's cheating on you (like HERE https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-...ex-334029.html ) then this is NOT something you should even entertain.

    How about finding another way to spice up your sex life?
  • Mar 26, 2009, 09:58 AM
    neverme

    Come on, you should not do this in light of your other thread.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 12:15 PM
    wanderer84

    I wonder where these ideas come from ?
  • Mar 26, 2009, 12:27 PM
    neverme
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by wanderer84 View Post
    I wonder where these ideas come from ?

    What?
  • Mar 26, 2009, 02:16 PM
    chrissymarie

    Well if you decide to have a threesome... have it with some one you don't think your partner would leave you for and with someone that you wouldn't leave your partner for. Make sure it's a relatively new person in each of your lives and that it is a one night thing and the person doesn't stay the night. Also make sure your OK with the sight of seeing your man ALL OVER another woman. It can either be really erotic and fun or a completely truamatizing mistake.

    From experience... Mine was a ton of fun. I met the girl at work (strip club) We all went out and partied one night, her, my boyfriend and I, and we ended up getting a little bit tipsy and engaging in a threesome. My boyfriend and I talked it over before and discussed that all was fair game and this was just going to be one night of complete erotic fun. But we made sure to use protection and to try to stay as clean as possible about the entire situation.

    I mean you really have to be careful with whoever you have a 3some with. You don't know that person and you don't know how many other 3some, 4 some, orges or sexual partners they've had...

    But this is only my opinion.
  • Mar 31, 2009, 07:18 PM
    LONE_DAD

    IF you do it, it needs to be thoroughly planned. Have a safe word, so that if either of you is no longer comfortable (probably you), then you both can stop. If your boyfriend (husband?) takes the safeword idea seriously, when you discuss it with him, then he LOVES you and he MIGHT be the right guy for you to do this with. More plans: if you think you will get off on HER pleasure, then you might make her the center of attention - and you get to share (with your bf) the act of pleasuring another. If, however, you want to be the center of attention (by both of them), make sure he knows. You have to set certain ground rules and be sure that he will follow them. If he loves you, then he will love you even more for sharing this with him.
  • Mar 31, 2009, 07:37 PM
    JoeCanada76

    Its not a good idea.

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