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-   -   He left his wife for me then went back to her (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=333908)

  • Mar 25, 2009, 05:02 PM
    torn21
    He left his wife for me then went back to her
    Well first I want to say that when I met him he was not married. He had just gotten out of a relationship with his ex that he was only in for 5 months. We became friends more like best friends then things began to get deeper. It became a relationship then one day things started to fall apart. He went back to his ex and up and got married to her. He told me how sorry he was and that he had feelings for me, etc. but he was in love with her. Not even a month went by after they were married he called me begging to come back he said he made a mistake she isn't the one for him. We got back together for a good month then once again one day he went back to her and again he told me how sorry he was and that he was confused he wanted to be with me but at the same time he wanted to be with her. He said he felt like he owed it to their marriage to try to make it work. His ex cheats on him and does not do him right. Every time he goes back to her he realizes why he left her then he comes running back to me. He left her AGAIN and came back to me and we have been going on strong he told me that he has fallen in love with me and I love him as well. But once again he has left me and went back to her. He told me how much he loves me and when he is with her he is thinking about me but he is tired of everyone like his family telling him it is not right to do his marriage this way. While I realize it is wrong to mess with a married man I got involved before he was married and I love him so much the marriage thing was so unexpectant. He still tries to talk to me because he says he can't forget about me or leave me alone. I just don't understand why does he keep going back and forth and will this cycle ever end? Im so confused I don't know what to do?? :(
  • Mar 25, 2009, 05:12 PM
    friend4u178

    The fact that you met him before he was married is irrelevant , your still cheating with a married man.

    You're his backup and booty call and you keep allowing it , get out while you can and find someone who's willing to be exclusive with you.

    If he's willing to cheat on his wife he will also cheat on you.
  • Mar 25, 2009, 05:17 PM
    neverme
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    Well first I want to say that when I met him he was not married.
    So that makes it OK that you were with him after? NO!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    He had just gotten out of a relationship with his ex that he was only in for 5 months.
    Red Flag!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    got married to her. He told me how sorry he was and that he had feelings for me, etc. but he was in love with her.
    So then you left him alone to get on with his life? NO!!!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    Not even a month went by after they were married he called me begging to come back he said he made a mistake she isnt the one for him.
    So you tell him to man up, then hang up!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    We got back together for a good month then once again one day he went back to her and again he told me how sorry he was and that he was confused he wanted to be with me but at the same time he wanted to be with her.
    Well if he wants both of you then that's what he gets... I hear you saying 'no' but your actions speak louder than your words.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    He said he felt like he owed it to their marriage to try to make it work.
    So NOW you left him alone to get on with his life? NO

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    His ex cheats on him and does not do him right.
    ... Not your problem...

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    Everytime he goes back to her he realizes why he left her then he comes running back to me.
    No that's just what he tells you, He is playing both of you, and your letting him!

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    He left her AGAIN and came back to me and we have been going on strong he told me that he has fallen in love with me and I love him as well. But once again he has left me and went back to her.
    For F***'S SAKE!! Lady, can you see a pattern here??


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by torn21 View Post
    He told me how much he loves me and when he is with her he is thinking about me but he is tired of everyone like his family telling him it is not right to do his marriage this way. While I realize it is wrong to mess with a married man I got involved before he was married and I love him so much the marriage thing was so unexpectant. He still tries to talk to me because he says he can't forget about me or leave me alone. I just dont understand why does he keep going back and forth and will this cycle ever end? Im so confused I dont know what to do????:(
    The marriage thing?? WHAT? Unexpected? Not to his wife?!

    The cycle ends when you tell him to get f!cked!!!!

    Then please get yourself to a counselor and try to build yourself confidence. If you had some you wouldn't accept this terrible behaviour. This man is selfish, but you, and his wife are allowing him to act like this.

    Get out now, sever all ties with him and start the healing.
  • Mar 25, 2009, 05:23 PM
    Sunflowers

    You are letting him have you both. Endinng the cycle is simple: Don't let him come back again.
  • Mar 25, 2009, 05:31 PM
    liz28
    I don't why you keep messing around with him at his convience. Is there a shortage of men where you live?

    You need to have better self-worth because if you did you wouldn't even put yourself through this.

    He left you the first time to get back with his ex than mareies her but kept coming bqck to you. Than breaks it off to get back to her. Then the sega continue...

    When is enough really enough? Isn't that much love in the world and if you think this is love than you really need a wake up call.
  • Mar 25, 2009, 11:33 PM
    talaniman

    Quote:
    I just don't understand why does he keep going back and forth
    SEX!! Not love... SEX! Easy sex!!
    Quote:
    will this cycle ever end?
    When you stop giving him sex.
    Quote:
    Im so confused I don't know what to do?? :(
    Stop giving him sex.
  • Mar 26, 2009, 06:02 AM
    kctiger

    When one pair of legs shuts, another pair of legs open... it is the natural order of CHEATERS!! Cut the water supply off to him, and he will be gone!
  • May 14, 2009, 06:33 PM
    trime0603

    STUPIDITY... How can I say that? I did it for 9 years but mine failed to tell me at first, along with his friends. I was pregnant by mine 7 times, 6 of which he dumped me, shows real good character, and low self esteem on my part. 6 years later he left his wife, just to leave me again the come back. Only to come back 2 months later, within 2 months I ended up pregnant again weeks later he was gone, only to come back the day I gave birth to our son just to leave again 6 days later. Oh he came back again a month later, this time it was to stay, my like has been hell since. The mental abuse, the verbal abuse. But he couldn't let go of his wife, he lied as to talking to her everyday and couldn't understand why I didn't trust him, go figure. My son is 16 months old now we both are paying the price of both. Don't learn the hard way like I did, life is to short, it's should be you who comes first now, not him...
  • May 14, 2009, 07:12 PM
    chuff

    I just realized this was from March and she never came back. I bet she didn't like the answers and is still on the ferris wheel waiting for the ride.

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