My daughter's father ( my X) committed to a place for her wedding and all the trimmings,now he is renigging on paying all the expenses for what he promised her. HE HAS THE MONEY! He says he is going to send a certain amount of money( not nearly enough) to her sister and expects her to pay the bill-so he can have fun the night of the wedding. I know it is because he doesn't want to get stuck with the bill. She is the maid of honor and has a small daughter in the wedding and shouldn't have to carry this responsibility. My husband and I are doing lots of extras and all the work, we can take out a loan to pay for what he promised--BUT---------- What should we do with this man? Needless to say the bride is terribly upset.

It does not matter whether HE HAS THE MONEY. Weddings can get out of control. Weddings do not have to be expensive. It should not be on just one persons shoulder. That is my personal experience. Oh, wedding times can be stressful. What was promised exactly and what was not promised. You said expenses for commitement to a place for her wedding and all the trimmings. What exactly does that mean?

The bride needs to take back the wedding plans and reinvent it without any support from her father. I would suggest a different place even, if possible, to put as much distance to this unfortunate incident as possible. Believe it or not, I suggest she let him off the hook entirely. This is just not the time or place to play games with support, financial or otherwise and he has proved to be untrustworthy. Show him the door about being in the planning or paying of the wedding-- it is appropriate. She needs to see that she can have her wedding without him. Once she is not so vulnerable to his games, perhaps she can forgive him enough to keep him on the invitation list but I would suggest she learn to wear armor while encountering him, wedding day or otherwise. Arms length comes to mind but no one should bring this up that day, as it is over and done then. Broken promises means don't trust again until amends are made.

Unfortunately you really don't have much recourse other than to take what he gives you and pay the balance yourselves. For whatever reason, he made a promise that he now is unable or unwilling to fulfill. Not a good way to operate, I'll agree, unless he's experienced some unforseen legitimate financial hardships that preclude him from splurging on a big fancy wedding. Your post doesn't indicate that he has. Have you considered that possibility, just to be fair to him and rule out any possible legitimate reason he may have for reneging?