I am 20 years old and my wonderful boyfriend has just proposed! I couldn't be more excited! He is 24 and going into the Air Force and I am a junior in college and am going to Physician's Assistant school when I graduate. We want to get married in late July 2009 before he joins the armed forces (he graduates college in December 2009) and I know my family will be extremely upset that I have made my decision to get married at 20. They think you HAVE to be 26 or older for marriage to be successful. While I can see the merits of waiting, I can also see the merits of he and I getting married now. We will be financially stable, he is a very hard worker, and he is such a good boyfriend I KNOW he will make a wonderful husband (and hopefully father some day). I am NOT pregnant **this is what most people assume because I am "too young to get married"**. I know I have made the right choice in him and his family is overjoyed that we are finally tying the knot. How can I convince my parents that this is not the end of the world and that he and I will be very happy and successful together?

You won't convince your parents that this is not the end of the world, but you do have to be honest with them of your intentions. You have your own life to live and they will have to let you, because controlling your life at 20 will only alienate them from your life in the future.

Sit down and let them know how you feel. There aren't any guarantees into a future and they may hope or request that you wait. Most couples know there will be changes in their future that they agree to face together, you are forcing the marriage to happen before a HUGE change, there isn't a harm in waiting, but that is not what you want to hear.

Good luck to you and God bless.

Tell them what you have said here... you will be financially stable, he is a wonderful boyfriend, you love him, etc.. Let them know you have plans in place... his joining the service, which will actually be a benefit to you as a spouse, you will be focusing on completing your education, etc..

There are no guarantees of marriage success at any age. It depends totally on the two people involved and their level of commitment to each other and to the marriage itself that see them through the difficult times everyone will experience from time to time.

You just tell them. You already know what they are going say and you already have the answers to their questions.

Your parents have to realize this is your life that you control. If they know they raise you right then they should trust your choices. You sound like you have your head on right and it is because of your up bringing.

I hope everything work out and congratulations.

Tell your parents, and thank them for raising you well enough to be confidant of your own decisions, and ask them to trust you that you have given this an awful lot of thought, along with your boyfriend, and ask for their blessings. They may or may not give it, but tell them that although you will respect their input, that you are doing what you feel is the right choice for you.

Make sure you have got something solid to back up your decisions, and assure them that you are going to continue with your education. Young marriages take hard work, as do all marriages, but they are especially hard when you're young. Just make sure you have a working plan in place.

Good luck!

What I've learned over the years is that there have been times my family and friends have objected to decisions I've made, and I've later wished I gave their concerns more consideration. So I'm not saying you should only do what your parents approve of, but have the maturity to truly consider their concerns and don't dismiss them out of hand. I think if they feel you've really thought things through seriously, they will be more supportive whether you marry now, or years from now. And concerns don't necessarily add up to reasons not to marry now but perhaps because you are a bit on the young side, you might want to participate in premarital counseling, either through your church or some other program, to make sure you've worked through your expectations of one another, etc. I would recommend this to anyone getting married, at any age. Again, it will show your parents that you are taking an adult approach, and are not living in a fantasy but do understand that there are things you need to work out together in marriage.

There may also be programs offered by the military to help couples prepare for deployment - I would suggest you take full advantage. Talk openly with your boyfriend about what that time will be like, and make sure that you have an adequate level of trust in one another to sustain for a year or more apart.

As for your direct question on how tell you parents, you tell them openly and honestly, and as you know what's coming in the discussion, the responsibility falls on you not to fly off the handle if they get upset. You have to be mature even if they respond terribly. They may surprise you though.

Age is not a guarantee of a happy marriage. Look at all the people twice your age who are divorcing. Entering marriage with your eyes open, the important issues discussed and so on - that will put you on good footing for years of happiness. Best wishes to you!