Ask Me Help Desk - My girlfriend of 4 years is IGNORING ME.I'm Sad

My girlfriend of 4 years is IGNORING ME.Im Sad

Hey all,

I have a situation here that I need help with before I go with my heart, and NOT my head. My girlfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. We do not live together. I spend the night though on Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Recently my job has been starting to cut hours by 20 hours a week. I have my bills, she has hers... we are both struggling... I don't think this is the issue though...

The problem is this. Saturday morning, she called me after she got off work and got upset at me because she thought I opened her mail... and honestly I DID NOT... so she said OK whatever and we ended the call... throughtout the entire Saturday we did not talk... however she "text" me and said that I told her I was going to call her... I never said that but you have to understand that her and I usually hang out every weekend. So we didn't talk all day Saturday, and she didn't call me on Sunday... she texts me Sunday night and says... "i think you are only over my apartment when its conveinent for you," "you dont care about me or what im going through with my probation and sobriety....she violated probation a 4th time.....SO i tried to call her sunday night 3/15/09 when she sent these texts and she would not answer the phone.....

Then on monday 3/16/09 I repeatly called. Because I could not get a hold of her, I called my cousin-in-law who is best friends with her, and my cousin-in-law said this to me: "its funny that you text me when you and her are going through problems, but you didn't text me when your cousin hit me or council your cousin for hittimg me 2 weeks ago".....and i said to myself where in the heck did THAT come from.....Im only looking for my girlfriend because she is ignoring my calls.....

On monday night 3/16/09, I gave up calling my girlfriend as I called ALL DAY. Then on Tuesday morning she sends yet ANOTHER TEXT saying: "my job says I'm slacking, my relationship is failing, you don't seem to care about me, the court system slapped me really hard for this violation"...so i texted her back and said "your relationship is failing because you are creating this... you are ignoring ME"... no response...

Today is Tuesday 3/24/09... its been 10 days since we verbally talked on the phone... I haven't received a text from her since last tuesdat 3/16/09 in the early AM...

Should I call again if I blew her phone up ALL last MONDAY and she didn't answer? What am I suppose to do? She didn't say she wanted to break up or anything... Again keep in mind we had a close relationship we talked everyday and spent time everyday... we couldn't hardly do anywhere because of financial issues...

I texted her just a minute ago to see why she has been ignorning me, but STOPPED myself and saved it in my text box draft... I decided to come on here and get your opinions after reading some of your valuable input on other people's posts...

Any input? Please help in any way you can. I would really take your valuable input to heart

I am extremely sad and unable to eat... Ive ben having fun with my friends. I went to the club this past wekend(friday, Saturday, and sunday) to keep my mind off this situation, but now I'm just tempted to pick up the phone and call again to see if this time she will answer

You need to calm down.

This girl has ALOT she needs to sort out. Starting with her own head.

Why not try sending her a letter outlining how you feel about all of this.

If you don't get an answer, well then you have to respect that she needs some space.

If it was me though, I'd just back off there is no reason for her to treat you with such little respect. Let her figure herself out then you two can try to sort your relationship.

I would look at how much you want to be in the relationship. It seems like a lot of hard work and strife to be ignored by someone for a simple misunderstanding. She's also in trouble with the law and apparently slacking at work, and blaming you for all of this!.. she doesn't seem like someone I would want to be in a relationship with?

Its not that she is blaming me for her job or the law... she used all of her problems in the same sentence and one was her failing relationship... but I see where you are coming definitely coming from

Her problem is that I haven't been telling her she's beautiful a lot anymore, and that we don't do things anymore like go to the movies etc, and that she is the one who has to always call me

It's a very complicated situation... Text and tell her that you want to meet her.. Tell her everything you feel about her and suggest a solution.. I don't know if this is over for her or nor but at least make a move.. calling and texting isn't going to solve your problem... And of course let her tell you everything bothering her in you and your behaivior and try to change. Hope everything get fixed as soon as possible.. Make any possible effort to see her even she won't answer to your text...

Quote:

Originally Posted by elena3117

It's a very complicated situation... Text and tell her that you want to meet her.. Tell her everything you feel about her and suggest a solution.. I don;t know if this is over for her or nor but at least make a move.. calling and texting isn't going to solve your problem... And of course let her tell you everything bothering her in you and your behaivior and try to change. Hope everything get fixed as soon as possible.. Make any possible effort to see her even she won't answer to your text...

That's where I messed up... I kindve been ignoring all these things she would tell me about the relationship... and I do admit that was wrong on my part... I just got fed up with the constant attention wanting and complaining all the time.

If I haven't heard from her in 10 days, no phone calls, nor texts, I can assume its over... no one goes without talking that long, especially if you are use to hanging with this person everyday... we are talking about a girl who would blow my phone up 20 times in a row constantly if I didn't have my phone near me and therefore couldn't answer the phone... if my phone was off, if I turn my phone back on my phone would be full... Therefore I know she loves me... but this is just odd... I just tried calling and again, no answer...

If she wanted to talk to me, she wouldve called... am I right? If I were on her end, I would not go 10 days without talking to me boyfriend of 4 years... no breakup mentioned, no anything... Now that would be just cold of her to break up in her own mind, not tell me, and just decide to ignore me cold turkey

She wants your attention.. she ognore you to show something (or its already over for her and doesn't even want to talk. Childish and really rare) text her for the last time and ask her to talk, she won't deny.. calling is not helping

JUst wondering any chance of a freak pregnancey maby she is scared and has no clue what to do

Quote:

Originally Posted by what2do699

JUst wondering any chance of a freak pregnancey maby she is scared and has no clue what to do

Lol no not at all... and she is not able to have children

Honestly this women sounds like she has a lot of personal problems..

A big infestment in my view. A bit too much. For what you are getting back

Maybe some space is what you both need. To clear your heads

She can't go around saying you have done things.. when its not true.

And you need to tell her to not take her personal problems out on you
Tell her how you feel

Regards

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrueFaith

honestly this women sounds like she has a lot of personal problems..

a big infestment in my view. a bit to much. for what you are getting back

maybe some space is what you both need. to clear your heads

she can't go around saying you have done things.. when its not true.

and you need to tell her to not take her personal problems out on you
tell her how you feel

Regards

Well everyone, I got to work this morning and my boss told me my paycheck was returned this morning stating: "he no longer lives here"...

I was getting my paychecks sent there because they weren't coming to my po box on time...

So doesn't that tell you, it is over? I have never heard of someone just ending it like that...

I actually feel even dumber because I sent a text this morning saying: "I know we both will be back in the dating scene eventually, but i hope we can remain friends even if its at a much later date in the future"

I know that was bad but I am pissed... of course as usual, she didn't respond back...

Friends!?

Fu##! ME! Mate! Honestly? Are you kidding me.. you want to be friends with this person?

UH! I wouldn't even have send that TEXT just based on the stuff she has done to you in the past! Now you are hit with this?

My friend count your lucky stars you are getting this.. . this Trash out of your life.. honestly she sounds like a waist of time, space and effort!

You are willing to come on here and ask for help and try and work things out.. all she wants to do is blame you for her mistakes in her life..

Trust me this has happened to me before. And it hurts when you put yourself out there on a limb for people who are lower class than you. Now I am not a class person. But I feel most of us.. have personality we know right from wrong. None of us are perfect but yeah. The people that treat other people like that..

Have no class at all. And should be left back where they belong.

Im sorry you have to go through this my friend.
It will get better

But please for me.. cut her out of your life.

Do you know what?

You can take this one of two ways you can

a) take this as a reflection on yourself, or your relationship or anything else concerning you.. be pissed at first, then sad

Or

b) be pissed and see the situation for what it is. Count your blessings that you can now be well and truly out of this, and away from this lady who has no ability to look past her own selfish problems and see that there is more than her own feelings involved here!

You have shown in that one text, no matter how stupid you feel now, that you have more class and decency in your thumb than she has in her whole existence. And that will get you farther in life than she can possibly expect, decent people don't kick a man when he is down.

Agreed A listen..

Never feel bad.. for your feelings.. OK.. we all have them. You have done nothing wrong in this

Apart form being a good guy that loves someone. Simple as that.

Her loss my friend.. Not yours!

Regards

Than you all for your comments... I REALLY appreciate them... when I texted her about the dating, I was saying that eventually we'll be back in the dating scene meaning we will be dating other people, but hope to still be friends at a later date... howevewr I've learned from you all that I shouldn't even be friends

It sucks because she is really tight with my family, and I know she will be at family gatherings because my family loves her... she doesn't show this side of her to them...

She doesn't have to be. Your family invariably love you more, you can insist on this.

Everyone will understand.

When was the last time you saw her in person??

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

When was the last time you saw her in person???

The last time Ive seen her in person was Saturday morning 3/14/09... and she got mad because I didtn call her all the rest of the day nor Sunday, and that she had to text me and that's when she blew up...

We've been together 4.5 years and have always gone through this break up get back together, break up get back together... etc... but usually that happens the same week... its been 14 days so far since I've seen her, 10 days since her last text she sent me... I responded but she never responded back and won't answer my calls. Maybe there is someone else in the picture...

If that is the case, oh well, I guess all I can do is suck it up and move on.

Throw the phone away, and no more texts. Go talk face to face, right frakking now!

Quote:

Originally Posted by talaniman

Throw the phone away, and no more texts. Go talk face to face, right frakking now!

I don't want her to think I'm stalking if I did that... if she's ignoring me like that when I call or text, to me that is saying she doesn't want me around... correct?