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-   -   Am I being a selfish grandmother? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=332316)

  • Mar 22, 2009, 06:06 AM
    martina59
    Am I being a selfish grandmother?
    Our son and his girlfriend ask me to babysit our grandaughter (5 months old) occasionally. Most times, it's for about 4 hrs. and I'd rather not babysit longer than an hour or two. 4 hours just seems like too much for me. They usually get me to watch her about 1-2 times p/mo. Am I being selfish for not wanting to be tied down to this for such a long period? I know if I said anything, his girlfriend will really take offence to it. I've said no before, and she gets very upset, and won't ask me to watch the baby for a long time. She makes comments like "Oh I'm so glad we can give you a chance to be with your grandaughter by you watching her". It's not that I don't want to spend time with the baby, just not for such a long stint.

    Any suggestions, or is it me??
  • Mar 22, 2009, 06:20 AM
    N0help4u

    It sounds more like they are being selfish but if you don't watch her then they just might decide to keep you from seeing her at all.
    I know when you are young it looks more selfish on your part because they do not understand what it is like being older and you are in a different stage of your life. I know so many young people that act like you owe it to them to give them free time by watching the grand kids.
    I think maybe the best thing to do is maybe make up some rules something like
    You want 24 hour notice (or a week -whatever is best for you)
    You can not watch them on the 1st of the month, Tuesday day time
    Or Saturday evenings because they are your shopping days, errand days
    And time out with your friends days.
  • Mar 22, 2009, 12:16 PM
    talaniman

    Just curious, why is it 4 hours? Do they have plans or what?

    I do understand not wanting to be responsible for an infant for that long, that's why I was curious as to the reason they need more than what you can give them.

    What are their reasons for babysitting that long?
  • Mar 23, 2009, 06:21 AM
    martina59
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Just curious, why is it 4 hours? Do they have plans or what?

    I do understand not wanting to be responsible for an infant for that long, thats why I was curious as to the reason they need more than what you can give them.

    What are their reasons for babysitting that long??

    They usually go out to dinner and a movie. The movie is usually 2 hrs. long.
  • Mar 23, 2009, 06:24 AM
    Claire58

    They should ask you if you can watch her for that long before leaving the baby with you. 4 hrs is a long time with a 5 mo old esp when u're not her mother. They are the ones being selfish. Let them know that 4 hrs is too long for you. You have a life too.

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