I know her for years but I was in a relationship with someone else that I broke up months ago. I was depressed and really sad. That's why I wanted to be alone. But my friend (she) was with me and we spent too many times together and we shared some good moments. I discovered that I fell in love with her and I told her about my feelings in a good way. She rejected me saying that she has some feelings for me, she likes me, but she's at the beginning of a new relationship which I didn't know. She told me it's wrong time. Should I wait for the "right" time? She already knows that I love her and she says that she has feelings too. She doesn't want to lose me and I want neither lose her. We like spending time together. We are continuing to see each other as friends but it's really difficult. One day I told her that and she told me to wait... I'm waiting... should I?

If you are sure that she is the one then I guess that you don't have a choice in the matter. If it is a new relationship then she can't be that involved with the guy yet. I would not wait around forever just to see if she has found her "mr. right." It kind of seems like she wants you waiting in the wings just in case things don't work out between her and her new beau. Whatever you do don't make yourself look desperate. Hopefully things will workout in your favor! Good luck!

Personally I don't think you should wait, like you said; she rejected you and she wants to take a shoot with this new guy, so her feelings for you doesn't seem to be the type of feelings you have for her... caring for and loving a friend... might be more of the feelings she has for you.

If this will ever happen, it doesn't seem to be happening now. So you might as well take her at her word and don't wast your time waiting artound for something that might never happen.

If you can still be friends then that's good for you, then you should keep the friendship, but be aware of how things are between you and be realistic, don't set yourself up.

Bst of luck!

Thank you a lot for your answers... Since my last post, I met her with her boyfriend in a party (I didn't planned it, it just occurred). At first, it hurt but I didn't look desperate and I continued what if nothing happens. Now I understand that she made her choice to continue her relationship with him. Since that party, she is calling me and she wants to see me... I decided to move on because no one wants to be back up plan and I feel that way... I will be her friend forever but I will not beg or hope for some love... I figured out she deserves to be happy and she made her choice with that guy (he's a nice guy and he loves her much. I can read from his eyes). Although she wants to continue seeing me all time; but that's not "love" that I hoped. I will not interfere... Sad but that's life...

I'm glad you realized that, its better that way I think; especially for you in the long run. Like you said; who wants to be someone's back up plan? That is never a good way to live life; to just sit around hoping for something that may never happen, and if it does you have to live with the fact that you weren't the first choice.

I'm glad you've found an answer to this and that you have made a decision. It sounds like a good one that benefits you ;) best of luck though with everything,

PS: It might hurt now, but as you go down the road of acceptance and work on moving and letting go it does eventually lessen and disappear.

Yeah, she knows that you're hanging around waiting for her. She just wants try it out with this guy and you're her safety net if she falls. Not the most ideal situation to start a relationship, if it were to happen.

It's good that you're still willing to be friends with her. Good luck, all the best.

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Originally Posted by ocean80

i know her for years but i was in a relationship with someone else that i broke up months ago. i was depressed and really sad. That's why i wanted to be alone. but my friend (she) was with me and we spent too many times together and we shared some good moments. i discovered that i fell in love with her and i told her about my feelings in a good way. she rejected me saying that she has some feelings for me, she likes me, but she's at the beginning of a new relationship which i didn't know. she told me it's wrong time. Should i wait for the "right" time? she already knows that i love her and she says that she has feelings too. she doesn't want to lose me and i want neither lose her. we like spending time together. we are continuing to see each other as friends but it's really difficult. one day i told her that and she told me to wait... i'm waiting... should i?

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no.. And I'm just honest. You should also try to start something new as well. But don't lose a friend this way, try to convince yourself that there is no hope to avoid being hurt in the future.

Lenore: you should also read his other post on this thread (see quote) But yeah you are right, it is a bad way to loose a friend and why should he be someone's back up plan, when he can be someone's first choice!!

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Originally Posted by ocean80

Thank you a lot for your answers... Since my last post, i met her with her boyfriend in a party (i didn't planned it, it just occurred). At first, it hurt but i didn't look desperate and i continued what if nothing happens. Now i understand that she made her choice to continue her relationship with him. Since that party, she is calling me and she wants to see me... i decided to move on because no one wants to be back up plan and i feel that way... i will be her friend forever but i will not beg or hope for some love... i figured out she deserves to be happy and she made her choice with that guy (he's a nice guy and he loves her much. i can read from his eyes). Although she wants to continue seeing me all time; but that's not "love" that i hoped. i will not interfere... Sad but that's life...

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Im in the same situation... Ive been really good friends with this girl since the first grade, and started having feelings for her about 6 months ago. I was hanging out with her alone one day and told her how I felt. She said she had similar feelings, but is in a relationship. Her boyfriend also happens to be one my best friends, unfortunately. It's a weird situation, but the bottom line is, much like your situation she wants me to wait. Ive been really struggling with this and not quite sure what to do. I don't want to hurt my friend in the first place, and I really don't want to hurt her by telling her Im not going to wait around forever. Reading all of your posts I think I have a better understanding of what to do, but I don't want to be pissed off and upset all of the time thinking about what could have been...

In the same situation, I met a girl and I like her a lot but she has a boyfriend and I am feeling pretty much the same as you. So I guess stay strong and move on, like you said: No one likes to be the back-up plan. And you might meet someone who you will feel the same about and basically what goes around comes around.

Good luck

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Originally Posted by ocean80

Thank you a lot for your answers... Since my last post, I met her with her boyfriend in a party (i didn't planned it, it just occurred). At first, it hurt but I didn't look desperate and I continued what if nothing happens. Now I understand that she made her choice to continue her relationship with him. Since that party, she is calling me and she wants to see me... I decided to move on because no one wants to be back up plan and I feel that way... I will be her friend forever but I will not beg or hope for some love... I figured out she deserves to be happy and she made her choice with that guy (he's a nice guy and he loves her much. I can read from his eyes). Although she wants to continue seeing me all time; but that's not "love" that I hoped. I will not interfere... Sad but that's life...

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It's all right you will find love

To be or not to be... that is a question. Have a good thinking of advantages and disadvantages. Good luck.