Me and my husband have been married for 2 years now. We have been dating for 7 months only and I got pregnant right after high school. Well he went to join the USMC to support me and the baby. It's been two years... he is now not attractive to my body. My tummy is saggy and I cannot get rid of these strecth marks. Last week he had told me that he's been looking at porn and other girls online. He told me that he only did it because he was bored. That ripped my heart my out, I didn't think he was that kind of person. He's been comparing my body to other girls on TV or friends. I'm trying my best to improve my image. I'm only 5 ft and weigh 85 lbs. my belly is not normal... it's saggy. But he doesn't understand that I cannot get rid of it. Except surgery!! Anyone help me out please.

I don't know if he is thinking that he is helping you in some way by comparing you to other women, but I am giving him the benefit of the doubt, hoping he might be thinking that by making comparisons it will somehow instill a desire in you to work out or something... he may have good intentions, but sadly he is soooooo clueless. Or, he could just be thinking of himself, what he wants, and is being an adolescent about it.

Does he know how these comparisons make you feel? Have you spoken to him about it? If so, what is his response? What does he suggest you do? If not, you need to do so. What he says to you will tell you much about whether he is thinking of you or of himself.

While I can understand he may miss how you used to look, he has got to realize that bodies change after pregnancy. For some people it may not be significant, for others it can be a great deal of change.

Are you unhappy yourself with how you look, or are you just unhappy because of his comments and actions? It is certainly not a question of losing weight. Sometimes you can do only so much to get back to where you were... short of surgery as you said. Do not put yourself through any sort of surgery to please someone else however! If you ever decided you wanted to look into it, do it for yourself.

In the end... if he can't seem to come to terms with some changes, which he will go through plenty himself as he gets older, and love and respect you for who you are... his wife and the mother of his child, you may end up needing to give some thought to how much lack of respect you are willing to endure and for how long.

It is absolutely horrible to be in a situation where you worry about whether you are good enough, you are attractive enough, and have to wonder if your partner is looking elsewhere. I hope you can get through to him and he realizes what he stands to lose.

The advise so far has been excellent. I wanted to chime in after reading Doula"s first paragraph. It is possible that your husband is wanting to encourage you.

My ex used to do and say the same things. I approached him about it later, many years after we divorced. He was shocked that his imput was not seen as encouragement, by me. For instance he used to jiggle me and tell me that I'd never be really firm. That was supposed to make me want to work out harder and prove him wrong. So maybe your husband means well in spite of the fact that he's uh, clueless.

Stretch marks and sags here and there are part of going through pregnancy. Tell him how you feel about what he has said. Ask yourself if you'd turn to porn and tell him about it because he had gotten stretch marks and saggy skin...