OK, I'm 36 my boyfriends 31. I want more sex than he does. If it was up to me id like it twice a day. I can always get him hard but its really rare that he starts any foreplay 1st. It hurts my feelings so bad. Sometimes I give him subtle hints like touch him lightly down there, rub his chest or legs while in bed. But I don't get a reaction. He looks at porn or photos of naked women everyday on his cell ph, he also has many erotic video games on his ph too. What am I doing wrong? It makes me feel like . I started to think, is it my body? He just doesn't find me attractive. I started a diet 2 days ago. I'm 5 4" and weigh 143. I admit I don't have the greatest body... but I feel sexy and my face is beautiful. I want to 69 and all the above but it just gets me sad that I have to be the initiator. My boyfriend is great in bed when we do, but I feel so lonely. I don't want to talk to him about it because I don't want to hurt his feelings, but what do I do? His needs are for me to leave him alone when he's on his ps3. My needs are I want to be f**ked more often. Please help! How do I bring this up without making him feel I'm ing?

You may have a real problem, porn is a bad thing for some guys, it consumes all of their time and energy. If he is watching porn while you are not around and he is masturbating a couple of times a day then that is probably satisfying his sexual needs.

I think you need to talk to him about the problem instead of just ignoring it, make a deal with him that he can watch porn if you are with him and if he gets aroused then you can start some foreplay then. The times that I have watched porn it was much more exciting when my wife was watching with me, and it resulted is some great sex.

OK so my last line was how do I sound like I'm not b**ching? Now, I've never been into porn with my partner and have gotten pretty pissed off about it. How do I now say hey hun, lets watch porn together? Since I haven't been okay with it. I took erotic pictures of myself down there, by myself.. using a mirror no less, they came out pretty good to me. I put them on his ph... I doubt he has ever viewed them for pleasure. I'm depressed now, my only option is to join him in porn? What about loving me and wanting to please me? There has to be other options... :confused:, thank you for current and future replies I do really appreciate a man's point of view, or women's same issues. And I do understand I may not want to (read) the truth, but will have to deal with it. :rolleyes:

I think a lot of young people have succumbed to the overly sexed culture... sex is promoted as the end-all of all human endeavors... Well, guess what, the only road to happiness is a well-rounded life lived in moderation. Sex does not solve any problems... sex is not a good substitute for the need for physical closeness.

You have a lot of growing up to do... first of all, talk to your boyfriend. Tell him you need more physical closeness-hugs and kisses. Also, that you would like sex a couple of times a week.

All relationships between men and women are NEGOTIATED.

Good luck to you, :)

Well twice a day for most guys is a bit much if foreplay and any time is spent on the act. Once a day isn't unless he has physical stress or medical issues.

About WHAT he does is a separate issue. That's more of how he was in the habit of doing it. Some guys are more open to learning new tricks than others. Personally I'm in the school of though of having enough tricks that nothing should get dull or boring from repitition. Wife is the same way. However I have dated enough women to know many people are one act shows... meaning that they do it a certain way... and won't do anything else... and get bent out of shape at any hint to deviate from that.

With people like that is no wonder so many people taper off to once a month in a matter of years after getting married. You might like Mac and Cheese, but if you ate it every day for years you are going to stop liking it eventually.

And this might come as a surprise to many women based on a LOT of posts here by women, but it really is less about how you look than it is about how you act. Which in other words means... an average or below average looking woman can be far more enticing in bed than a Beauty Queen with a "Gods gift to mankind" attitude. Now I'm not saying a Beautiful woman with a real good bag of tricks doesn't trump all. But looks isn't everything here when it comes to fun in the sack.

Try to look beyond the sex, do some other activities with your man that aren't sexual. I know it seems like it but men aren't all about sex. It's actually super unattractive when a women constantly pressures a man for sex. It makes you look easy and it makes the sex boring. Take your power as a woman back and become alluring to him. Meaning: New activities with him that are non sexual, spruce up your wardrobe, and get a new sexy hair style, work out and get toned, and become fun (bring energy into your relationship) and smile and laugh a lot... You'll have him at your knees in no time.

I didn't say that porn was your last hope it is just that your post was about porn so that is what I was discussing. I am sure that you can bring up sexual desires without sounding y, it you can get undressed and let a guy slip into you but you can't discuss things like your wants and needs something is wrong.

Now if you don't care to watch porn with him do other things that might get his attention, say things that are provocative, ask him questions or tell him little things. One thing you could do is as you are cooking or working around the house ask him if he ever gets hard just sitting around. If he ways yes ask him what does it. Another is to watch him sometimes in his shorts and if you see his penis is a little bigger than normal mention it to him and tell mim that it really makes you hot to see him starting to get a hard on. Little things like that seem to really trigger desire in some guys, me for sure.

Another thing you mentioned the pictures with the mirror and camera, to me this is just a waste of time. If you want to turn him on easier do some things that would make people call you a tease, things like wearing a button up shirt with the top button open and no bra, this is a lot sexier to me than for my wife to wear a teddy. When you are out in public, do some things that are a little risqué, like rubbing his crouch, when so one can see, or get in a position so that you can lean on him with your crouch against his leg.

These are things that work on me, I am sure that some guys would find them repulsive but not all.

Okay so, I posted something yesterday and feel really beat up by it. But its much appreciated. All of you guys had great ideas and made me think. I'm insecure with myself. That's my conclusion. I guess needing to have him more makes me feel wanted and that's my problem. Yesterday I did a lot of thinking on how him and I hug a lot, hold hands so much, and say we love each other at least 10 times a day. I shouldn't base everything around sex, you're right sex isn't everything. Knowing he loves me and would do anything for me and hold me when I'm sad, should mean everything to me. I know I shouldn't just post a resolution instead of a legit question but had to. I spoke to my boyfriend last night. I do talk to him about anything but didn't want to place pressure on him about sex. I got really upset about some of ya'lls answers to me, denial huh? Well not anymore... thanks good-bye

I don't think I posted but sometimes the answers are not what they should be, some answers are not what the OP wants to hear. We do have some very good relationship experts here and I hope they gave you some good input.

So I guess this is it, eh. A parting of the ways so to speak.

You sound like you haveit all together, pretty grounded and know your b/f. Yes, sex isn't everything but it does make the world go around.

Good luck


Tick

Dear stars,

What a wonderful post. There is only one road to happiness, and now you are on the right road, which is changing, girl. :)

Most people will hear nothing of changing their behavior in order to get happy... you have come a long way toward adulthood, my friend.

YOu made my day, :)

Well, a sign of maturity is recognising there is a problem, and the willingness to ask for help and being adult enough to listen to advice even if it may not be what you want to hear... and usually the advice you need is exactly the advice you didn't really want to hear.

Most of us have been there, and most of us have known others as well, so with age comes the wisdom of having seen many of these experiences from both sides. Many of us slugged our way through it without the benefit of online help forums such as this because they didn't exist.

And as distasteful as it may seem at times the best advice is the advice that forces you to take a step back and look at the problem in a completely new way.

I say that because people tend to preffer hearing only what they want to hear... and many times that's the worst thing for the situation. And yes... I have been in that position more times than I should have been.

I could only wish for a man like this at times. My husband can work ten hours a day and he is a construction worker, very sexy man, That is very unusual for a man to not want sex with his partner, Is he known to cheat? I would not press the issue and just spy on him if possible and see if he is cheating on you and if that's the case- DUMP HIM!! :o;)