My partner and I have started experimenting with a lot of sex toys... So far we've had soooooo much fun but I can't get him to let me use a dildo or vibrator during sex. He says he doesn't want anything but him inside me ( sorry I just didn't know how else to put that) also I bought him a c**k ring ( I don't know the techincal term for that) and we used it once and OMG I loved it but now he won't use it again. He says he can make me orgasm without it. I don't want to pressure him to making him think he;s not good enough for me with out all the toys but I really want the c**k ring back. How can I get him to compromise with out hurting his ego?

Has he tried using it on you? He may feel a little more in control of the situation if he was thrusting it.

Have you asked to use them on him? He may enjoy it . And than maybe come around to you using them upon yourself

i'd hate for you to have to be blunt, but maybe you could say, using these things makes your orgasm much more intense. Maybe he will Want to use them if you are getting more out of it. If that doesn't work, maybe you'll have to tell him and it might get hurtful

The answer is a rather simple "quid pro quo." All the extras that he enjoys, such as lingerie for example. Stop using them. Let him know that "you can make him " without all that other stuff. Your beloved cock ring will be back in no time.

I like what the previous people said, but you also primarily have to take into consideration his personality and ego type.

Some guys are more open than others...

I don't think that men understand how difficult it can be sometimes for a woman to have an orgasm. Now I am not saying all women have a hard time but most women do. I think that we have to focus a little bit harder and concentrate more than a man does. Having said that, maybe if you explain to him that its not him that is causing you difficulty but you instead and that it makes it easier for you to reach orgasm when you use these things which in turn makes the whole experience that much more relaxing and pleasurable for you.

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Originally Posted by chrissymarie

I dont want to pressure him to making him think he;s not good enough for me with out all the toys but I really want the c**k ring back. How can I get him to compromise with out hurting his ego?

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Hello chrissymarie:

It sounds like your boyfriend is more interested in feeding his ego than satisfying you. That kind of stuff in the bedroom ain't NEVER going to make you happy, and you ain't going to GET him to DO anything.

excon

Regarding the ring;you should tell him why it is pleasurable for you and explain that he need not feel any less of a man because of it.Explain that it just gives added clitoral stimulation.

I agree that this is most likely an ego thing so try to stroke his ego when you ask that he go along with your wishes.Or you could have a *your turn to be the love master* night where you take turns deciding what the night of love will be.As a comfort to his ego I would be sure to not ask for the added benefit of the ring all the time.

UPDATE: So last night he wanted to use the bondage straps we got again and I said OK only if we can use the c**k ring. And I couldn't believe it but he said "alright no straps then." After that I said "ok no sex then." he gave me a funny look and put the ring on lol. During sex I told him how good he felt with it on and kind of over exaggerated my reactions. I hope next time we have sex he won't fret when I try to put the ring on. I do understand that my man has a rather large ego he's trying to keep up with and I've already accepted that. I guess I'll just have to find ways to work around his big a** head.

Thanks for your help every one.

Successful relationships are about negotiation.

You don't have to negotiate sex for sex. You can negotiate your desire for a cr against his desire for a great home cooked meal, for example. (Whatever he really loves)

Negotiate one out of four times with a cr... that may lessen h is anxiety.

If he is a guy whose whole manhood is invested in his sexuality(no successes in business, sports, or all other ways a man shines)he will not want to give up on his idea that he is a great cocksman who needs no help to please a woman. It is his total identity.

Wow, most guys jump at the thought of toys...
Try making a video of you using some toys and show him... there isn't a guy out there who isn't turned on by home made porn.

Good on you for saying no to sex, although in my opinion blackmail never ends well.

A lot of guys are insecure by how well they perform in bed, he probably thinks you need these things to get off and that he isn't doing very well. It's not a matter of him having a 'big ego' it's about him not having one at all and feeling insecure.

Just my opinions :)

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Just a Query, how well does the Cock ring fit him? Does it pinch or chafe? If it hurting him, then it might be his ego coming up for excuses for not using it.

There might be another explanation besides "I can do this without the cock ring."

Always,
Craven Morhead.

This is nearly a year old.

Watch dates, please.

Closed.