Hey man,

I've been reading your posts here and you are always right on the money. Can you please elaborate on getting your ex back?

I knowa lot about getting them back - but people always screw it up and get weak and blow. There are set designed steps you must take. He ythey liked you once.

Then only way you could/should go back is if there is no abuse, cheating, heavy drinking, drugs, lying....both have to be pretty stable - careers etc.

Step one is to END ALL contact for at least 2 months - 3 is BETTER - no calls, no text, no e-mail - NO RETURNING any calls e-mails and text - none. He needs to remeber what he had - he needs to MISS YOU.

No begging, no asking, no nothing.

It's hard - and Wildcat has even had trouble with it.

If you are WILLING to do step one.....I can continue with the rest....


Please continue with the rest! :cool:

How long has it been since you broke up?
Why did you break up?
Why do you think it will be better this time?
Is there any reason that you should be trying to fix something that is broken and broken for a reason?
You need to answer these questions forst.
Winning and ex back is not a wise move unless there is legitimite answers and reasons to do so.
Are you sure you are in love with your ex or are you just in love with the idea of the relastionship you had?

Has it been 2-3 months since last contact yet?

Yeah,

I have to warn you that I have never tried to win and ex back. But I do know how you can try and get back into their life and give yourself a chance. As I said I haven't done as such but I have seen friends etc who have and listened to people give advice on how they can regain that trust, respect, and hopefully love.

You really need to have no contact. For so many reasons. Mainly to work on yourself and let your emotions and mind calm down.

In that time maybe they will miss you.. Maybe not...

I hate playing games but it is actually a little bit like a game when your trying to get her back... You just can't go bull at a gate and confess your love for her and expect her to come back. Won't WORK!! You have to show that things will be better. To do this you have to have worked out what pushed her away.

If it has been 3 months you could give them a quick call just to say hi. Make it a fun and light conversation.. LISTEN to her though.

Ask how they have been, what they are up to?

Make her LAUGH.. You are the FUN guy she had a great relationship with.

Your not ringing her to ask about getting back together, what went wrong, no begging, no pleading, no pressure etc etc...

You are calling simply to say hi and see how everything has been.

OVERALL it should be a light, fun and easy going chat...

After about 10 minutes or so you should end the call. Your in control.

Everything in your life is great. Things are going good. You have friends everywhere, your life is on track. Basically you Don't NEED HER for your life to be good.

I wouldn't even ask to meet her yet...

1 simple call so she can hear your voice. The fun guy she used to love... It might make her miss you.

But I still think we should be given reasons as to why you want her back? Why it is a good idea?

Winning someone over a SECOND time, is much harder than winning them the FIRST. You watch sports? A REPEAT is much harder than the FIRST TIME. The opposition knows you, BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE BRINGING TO THE TABLE. Unless you have something NEW ON THE TABLE, you'll LOSE. The opposition has THEIR GUARD UP.

Skell is right, IS IT WORTH IT?

Remember, SOMEHOW you have SURVIVED AFTER SHE LEFT. You HAVE. IT SUCKS, IT'S HARD, but you ARE SURVIVING, WITHOUT HER.

On paper, I'm THRIVING without my ex. I'm doing pretty great. But I still miss her. RATIONALITY CANNOT DEFEAT EMOTION. TIME WILL DEFEAT EMOTION.

Give it time, BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING.

Skell has said it all. That's the way to TRY and win your ex back. It might not happen but if you want a chance then do the thing's mentioned in Skell's post.

Getting an ex back will bring more of the same and that means another break up too... unless there has been some significant and concrete change on one or both people's parts. The only other way for it to work is you broke up "over nothing" -- in which case you or your partner put the person you claim to love through the wringer for what?? Prove a point? I would recommend you or your partner run from that, and fast. Its wrong to be involved with children and that is childish.

As for reasons to try and get back together:

"I miss her/him" is not going to cut it.

"I think this is my One and Only and I can't stand the idea of letting that slip through my poetic fingers"-- oh please, go write some TV commercials, you'd be good at it!

"I will work harder at it" is just a joke. A gross underestimation. What is "it"?

"I may have learned my lesson about ______ and plan to do ______ instead and am getting support for this change from _______"-- well now, you just might be on to something there.

Think about it.

Send me a private e-mail. I have questions. Every situation is different - and how you handle will make a huge difference.

This is a not a set blue print other than the NO CONTACT THING.

+ there are MANY more reason not to get together again. MANY!!

Hi wildcat, we want to know these ways too (how to get an ex back)

Like I said - every situation is different - read what Skell said - I advised him on a lot of that.

It not easy... there can never be abuse, cheating, lying, alcohol/drug abuse, there has to be some respect and trust.

Shoot me a private e-mail - I need details.