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-   -   I don't understand the way he's acting. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=329658)

  • Mar 15, 2009, 05:29 PM
    glamorous42410
    I don't understand the way he's acting.
    So I'm an 19year old girl finishing my senior year. Anyway my fiancé promised me that I would be able to take part in my senior year and that I wouldn't have to miss out because of him. Needless to say he complained when I wanted to cheer, so I didn't. Anyway he made me miss my winter prom and complained when I went to my homecomming and to my friends homecomming. Our school only has senior prom and he's already complaining about it. Anyway, I was just wondering from people that have been married will this get worse? I've already considered calling off the wedding for similar issues. I don't know what to do, will this get worse once we get married or is the worst of it. I know this seems like a trivial thing-but I live to get dressed up for school dances and he knows that but doesn't seem to care-he wouldn't even let me go alone. I would take him with me other than the cutoff age is 21 for dances and he's 29.
  • Mar 15, 2009, 08:03 PM
    nikosmom

    Personally, I think 19 is too young to get married.

    Now that we have that out of the way- The question you should ask yourself is do you mind having your feelings ignored? If he's not concerned about what's important to you, what makes you think he will change? He sounds very controlling and will continue to be that way if you let him. You can not marry someone hoping they will morph into what you want them to be.

    Now is the time of your life that you should be doing all the things you mentioned; going to dances and homecoming. You should enjoy these years with your friends and have fun.

    Trust your gut- this type of thing doesn't get better. To be honest, a lot of abusive relationships start this same way, "he didn't want me to do ____" or "he got mad when I wanted to ____" Just something you should think about.
  • Mar 16, 2009, 05:28 AM
    Mommy102808

    Yeah, I agree with nikosmom. You don't need to get married to someone who is already telling you where and when you can do something. It will get worse when you are married and he thinks he is in complete control of you. Have fun and a good idea would be to find someone who will love you for who you are and likes doing the things that you like to do. Good luck.
  • Mar 16, 2009, 07:44 AM
    450donn

    Will it get worse? Most certainly it will get far worse! He is controlling and probably abusive to boot. Tell him to kiss off and to never call you again. You are way to young to be considering marriage to a jerk like this. Finish your education settle into a good paying job, then and only then consider marrying someone who actually loves and respects you.
  • Mar 17, 2009, 07:49 AM
    h_leann_b
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by glamorous42410 View Post
    I've already concidered calling off the wedding for similar issues.


    If you are not 100% you should not get married! I was engaged when I was senior in high school as well, my boyfriend was 5 years older than me. Your mind-set changes most as soon as you get out of high school. So I think in the next year or so you are going to grow out of this guy. I mean he is dating a girl in high school.. he probably isn't the most mature 29yo in the world.

    I don't think you should get married until at least several years out of high school... you don't know who you are yet!

    Good Luck!
  • Mar 17, 2009, 09:35 AM
    rrmaison

    Listen to these women, they know what they are talking about.

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