Well my husband dose not like massages. I've been told that I give great massages but, my husband doesn't like them and we have tried to go on little dates the only problem is we have two children together ages 2 and 3. they are very difficult including my son the 2 year old he cannt stand to be out of my sight it drives me crazy and my husband thinks that it is wrong for us to go out some where and leave the kids with our parents. He doesn't like that at all so we never get to do anything just the two of us and I think that well after he stopped drinking that is when it happened he started to realize that every time that he finishes {edited} he hurts a lot and I told him to see a doc. About it but he will not well I feel like I am in a stoping point with no were to go. Help me

What does massages have to do with your problem?

You will need to clarify your question... You went from massages, to difficult kiddies, and then to "he hurts when he finishes {edited}"... umm WHAT?

Sounds like your husband is feeling you are putting pressure on him, and he is reacting by withdrawing from you and your ideas for intimacy.

Are you needy?

You could talk to someone about making your life more than taking care of children... getting some hobbies, new friends, exercise, all kinds of activities that will make you a well-rounded person.

I think if you have many activities, that will take the pressure off your husband.

Best wishes, :)

Sorry to the administrator for putting a "bad" word in my post, I was only quoting what the OP stated. Again, apologies :o

Reading the question again; maybe your husband is going through a rough patch. How long have things been this way? Many people go through a spell when they are having difficulty with being "tied down', almost like being in a rut. Some people (both men and women) have a hard time with the thought that their life now only revolves around diapers, mac & cheez, and being with the same person every day. It doesn't mean he's unhappy with you, he just may be going through a phase.

Choux made some good points, working on YOU will help to add spice to the relationship. If you partake in some hobbies, not only will you have something that will make you interesting you'll also be drawing from a new pool of experiences; you'll have something to talk about at the dinner table. Keep in mind that even when you're married, you should maintain your own identity. Do things that YOU like, have your own set of friends, etc so that you have your own 'life' to discuss with your husband.

As for the pain he's feeling during climax, I won't try to diagnose that. I'd just suggest going to the dr because it could be a result of another, bigger problem.

About the hurting that your husband is experiencing, after a man, or some men at least have had an erection for a long period they begin to have an aching pain in their groin area and even up into their lower stomach area, this ache is somewhat like women have during the tome of their period.

If the man does not ejaculate this pain will go on for an hour or so, if he ejaculates it will only last for a few minutes more. Of course all men are different and this is not meant as a diagnosis of your husbands problem, it is just a fact of life that some men experience.

He may have prostatitis-he needs to see a doctor and he needs to describe the symptoms exactly.. But I doubt it, I think he is feeling too pressured by you.

Do you mean that he has pain when he ejaculates? One of my friends had this problem, and it turned out that he had a benign growth in his urethra. Although he was very resistant to going to the doctor, he finally gave in and had it removed. He's fine now. Your husband really needs to get checked out!