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-   -   During a relationship break can you sleep around? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=328372)

  • Mar 12, 2009, 12:41 PM
    alexa0707
    During a relationship break can you sleep around?
    The last month of a 2 year relationship with my ex we were not officially together. I had dumped him a month ago and although after we were still living together and seeing each other everyday and sleeping in the same bed (but not having sex) We had not officially agreed to make up and resume our relationship. Last week I found out he slept with his baby mama during one night we had an argument. When I confronted him about it he lied and said it wasn't him and then I told him to come get all his crap and just go. He tried to reach me for awhile but then all the calls stopped around 11 that night. I drove past the baby mamas house to see if he was there and he was! I just felt so disgusted with him. Last night he came to get his things from the apartment and of course we talked. I asked him how he could cheat on me and break our faithfulness?? He said he didn't cheat because we weren't together and just felt it was OK because again he is single.

    I feel like he cheated. Am I wrong? Are words the only thing that bind someone to be faithful to you... do you have to actually say "you are my bf now so no sleeping around." in order to expect a man not to cheat
  • Mar 12, 2009, 01:58 PM
    mudweiser
    Let me rip your question to pieces so I can answer you;
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by alexa0707 View Post
    The last month of a 2 year relationship with my ex we were not officially together.

    By whom was this said by- that it wasn't official, him or you? If he said it he wanted to do what he wanted to with you still thinking you got what you wanted [by being with him].

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by alexa0707 View Post
    I had dumped him a month ago and although after we were still living together and seeing each other everyday and sleeping in the same bed (but not having sex) We had not officially agreed to make up and resume our relationship. Last week I found out he slept with his baby mama during one nite we had an argument. When I confronted him about it he lied and said it wasn't him and then I told him to come get all his crap and just go. He tried to reach me for awhile but then all the calls stopped around 11 that nite. I drove past the baby mamas house to see if he was there and he was! I just felt so disgusted with him.

    You two weren't even officially together! He was using your home, money or whatever else you provided for him.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by alexa0707 View Post
    Last night he came to get his things from the apartment and of course we talked. I asked him how he could cheat on me and break our faithfulness??? He said he didn't cheat cus we weren't together and just felt it was ok because again he is single.

    I feel like he cheated. Am I wrong? Are words the only thing that bind someone to be faithful to you... do you have to actually say "you are my bf now so no sleeping around." in order to expect a man not to cheat

    Sorry but the man is right, you should've seen this coming once you were "unofficial". If you both came to an agreement you were unofficial than no it's not cheating. If he thought he was a free man and have you as an option while you were sitting there thinking you were committed then you missed your bus and lost your chance of telling him "hey no we're back together to be a couple this is not an open relationship"- men don't go by signals they know what is told to them.

    MRS.S
  • Mar 13, 2009, 09:41 AM
    Rich11111

    Leave this man permanently, he is no good

    This is the third one of your threads asking about this and in each one the story is told slightly differently. In each one you make him seem less and less in the wrong.

    In Your first post you say nothing about being on a break, and not only has it been confirmed he cheated on you once but has likely been doing it for the past 2 years.
    In your second you just mention the one time you caught him at his exes early in the morning,
    And now you say he had a one night stand, after you had an argument whilst on a break.
    It appears as though you don't want people's advice but instead you want to get back together with him and are looking for people to confirm that you are making the right choice.

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