Hey I'm new to this site so please bare with me. Me & my ex broke up last August because I wanted to find my "independece" but I've come to realize, 7 months later that he was my independecne. He is everything I want & need in my life & we also have a little girl that will be 2 soon. I want my family back but he keeps telling me that I should move on & date other people when I can't even think of myself being with anyone else. He also says its bad timing & that he likes my friend now. I highly doubt they will ever amount to anything because she's not the type to do that to her friend. But he says he still cares about me & he will always be there because of our daughter, but he says he doesn't like me anymore & has lost the love that he once had. I've tried reassuring him that I've changed for the better & can make his the happiest man in the world, but he keeps telling me no. I can't move on from this, I want, I need my family to be back together & he won't even give me the time of day to show him how much I've changed & how much I care for him. He's basing everything on the past 2 & a half years we were together. Anyone please.. help me please. Any advice is great, but please don't tell me that I need to move on, because I cant.. I just want to stop hurting & I've been crying non stop for the past 3 days. Someone please give me advice on how to show him that I care about him.. & what I should do to make him notice/maybe like me tomorrow when I go drop off our daughter.. please! Thanks

Unfortunately dear, you both decided to call it quits because you wanted to find out if there was "more out there" for you. It sounds like it was a mutual decision to end the relationship.

Bottom line is that you let him go and he moved on.

There's not much you can do. Just be the best mother of your little girl that you can be.

I wish I could give you a magic potion, but there is nothing that you can do if he is happy where he is.

It will take a lot of time, and some work on your part, to accept the changes in your life.

What's good about this is your daughter will be loved by both parents, and you can rebuild your life around her, and not him.

Give yourself some time, as you have a lot of feelings to cope with.

What I have learned from my relationship is saying that you have changed won't get anyone back. I think the best thing is to I know you don't want to hear it but you got to try to move on without him, that might attract him back. Try not to contact him anymore unless it has to do with your daughter because seeing him would only hurt you and which might not be that healthy for your daughter if you're not in the right mind state neh?

I know its hard but right now you got to be strong for your daughter now. It should be about her now not you or him. Try to do everything you can for her, teach her not to make the same mistakes you did and make her proud of you for being a strong mother. Who knows what the future might bring? You will always have a connection with him because you guys share a child? Maybe the future might lead you guys back to each other's arms maybe it won't but I think the best thing to do right now is just focus on your daughter. Hope it helps!

No you do not need him back...

You need to find yourself and grow as a person...

You need to learn from this experience and sometime in the future you will find somebody else...

It is all about experience and learning and growing.

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Originally Posted by silentjenn

hes basing everything on the past 2 & a half years we were together

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Then he is right. He's weighed the situation up in his mind and made his mind up.

There is nothing you can do, unfortunately.

You are only pushing him away by telling him that you will make him happy and that you have changed. He is probably so annoyed with you when you start that conversation. What you have to do now is to learn to be independent. Once you stop telling him that you need him you will begin to grab his attention. He will want you back after he has REALLY seen that you have moved on and that you are happier. Your actions are everything now.
Constantly trying to prove to him that you have changed is not attractive.
What you have to do now is live your life by accepting that he may not come back. Be happy, because he probably does not like seeing the weak side of you.
First be true to yourself and enjoy your life. While you are with him divert your attention to your daughter and be a great mother and play games with her..
By changing the way you act now to some of the mentioned above, your ex may come back to you, you never know. If he doesn't then you have to be the best you can be to show him that you are great and can be happy without him, and that he is missing out.
I really hope he stops liking your friend. That's so sad. I hope you don't want him back because he has started liking your friend..
Good luck with everything.
If you do reunite, I hope it is for the best.

And communication is a great tool.
Talk about things that are interesting to him, or interesting in general.
Make sure your meetings are not always about your daughter and about you wanting him back.. it can get boring and there is no excitement.

Again, Goodluck..