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-   -   Female orgasm (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=327887)

  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:12 PM
    balji_dxb
    Female orgasm
    Hi,
    Me and my girl are having sex for past 3 months, I have never seen her orgasm, I do all the things to erose her, do a lot on clitorious, but still...

    I tried touching the g-spot but she says it pains there.


    She says she likes me going down there for long and I do it for long (30mts atleast).
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:26 PM
    Justwantfair

    How old is she?
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:27 PM
    adam_89

    Yea, how old are both of you and has she seen a gyno?
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:27 PM
    balji_dxb
    She is 26yr old and I am 29yrs.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:28 PM
    balji_dxb
    No she has not seen any gyno
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:29 PM
    balji_dxb
    She says, she doesn't know what orgasm means.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:29 PM
    Justwantfair

    We can't give you any tricks that will help her. You could support her in trying to seek help with this situation.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:39 PM
    adam_89

    My fiancé doesn't orgasm either. I want her to seek help because obviously something is wrong. It might be something a gyno can tell you about.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 12:52 PM
    artlady

    She needs to experience her own orgasm through masturbation and then she will be better informed on how to instruct you.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 01:51 PM
    balji_dxb
    She tried to mastrubate and still she cannot.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 02:13 PM
    kay71

    First of all, there isn't obviously something wrong, some women never achieve orgasm. Make sure she hasn't had anything alcoholic beforehand, that affects it. Let her masturbate during intercourse, that helps. Try it on a full bladder, but not to the extent that she is bursting to go. Try different positions too. If she sits on top, don't let her go up & down, forwards & backwards instead.
  • Mar 11, 2009, 04:05 PM
    Xrayman

    Oh dear.

    The word is Clitoris.
    You don't erose her, You arouse her.
    You go down there and "Do it for long, 30 mins??"

    I think you BOTH need to do some reading and self-discovery, get educated in how sexuality "works", the whole "sex" issue between the pair of you, makes you both sound like two blind people running into each other in a darkened room, but not actually achieving anything.

    She needs to "learn" how to masturbate-whether she says she "can't" or not. Perhaps you can help by being a little less clumsy while "doing" her g-spot and clitorious (as you put it... )
  • Mar 11, 2009, 04:22 PM
    simoneaugie

    If you're doing oral on her and 30 minutes doesn't result in an orgasm for her, try 40 minutes. Or try humming while you're doing it... Humming produces vibration and that may put her over the edge. Ask her what feels best to her while you're doing it.

    Read up on female anatomy. There is always something you're not sure of. That's life. Every woman needs a certain something to orgasm. Once she has her first, she can tell you how it happened. That's why her masturbating is so very important.

    Don't give up. Deny yourself orgasm with her until she has one. That way you'll better understand her frustration
  • Mar 12, 2009, 01:11 PM
    Choux

    She is too young to have sex... she has no connection to her passion-filled side.

    Is she having sex just to have a boyfriend??
  • Mar 12, 2009, 01:20 PM
    adam_89

    Exactly how old do you have to be to have sex Choux?
  • Mar 12, 2009, 09:52 PM
    shyfoxie

    Get a good-quality plug-in electric vibrator with multiple speeds and let her just play around with it. No pressure, no time limit, no preconcieved notions of "how", you don't even need to be in the room with her. This is all about her and getting to know what orgasm feels like.

    Every woman is different. I for instance don't really come that well from direct contact with the head of my cl.it, but pressure on the hooded part works wonders. For others that might not be enough, or the wrong pattern of movement, or the wrong spot...

    Just let her figure out what it feels like. And go for one with several settings (I cannot stress this enough), in case she needs more or less vibration.

    The idea isn't to replace you, just to let her know what it feels like so she can help herself recreate it, and then help you help her :)

    Trust me, it took me three years of trying to figure out how. I needed to use a vibe, that's all it took to find out. It's a bit of a shortcut, I think, and a lot less hassle.
  • Mar 14, 2009, 05:40 PM
    virginiawife
    Buy a book--something like "The Idiots Guide to Sex" it goes over everything from start to finish in layman's terms. If you want privacy, go to Amazon and order it. It is different for everyone. The book--or any book like it-- will help.
  • May 15, 2009, 09:10 AM
    Clarizzy

    Maybe she's just thinking too much that she can't, but subconciously she already had one.

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