My husband and I have been married for four years. I am 20 and he is 34. I have tried everything that I used to do to him to get him to have sex with me. But, know he has started a new job, he is dealing with the ex-wife about the two boys he had with her. So he is consantly thinking of all those things and he can not sleep at night and there for is tired. The question I am asking is how do I get my husband so horny that he has no choice but to say yes?:)

Well.. when someone is worried about things like that maybe they need comfort first and know that they are being supported. Honestly what he needs right now is a wife not a good lay. Talk to him, ask him what he's concered about let him know your there for him.

Chances are by being a supportive wife you will resume your sexual relationship again.

MRS.S

Mudweiser Gave some very good advice there. Just talking can work a lot of things out.

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Originally Posted by mylove20

my husband and I have been married for four years. I am 20 and he is 34. I have tried everything that I used to do to him to get him to have sex with me. But, know he has started a new job, he is dealing with the ex-wife about the two boys he had with her. so he is consantly thinking of all those things and he can not sleep at night and there for is tired. The question i am asking is how do i get my husband so horny that he has no choice but to say yes?:)

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Right there is the problem...

A happy man is a horny man.

Right now he is under a lot of pressure and may just need your emotional support. Try more affection without the expectation of sex and you may find that when he knows it isn't expected, that he may find it or be in the mood.

Try different times of the day, if he is too tired before bed, try after dinner or before dinner. Get up with him in the morning and talk him into a long shower and fit in a quickie before work.

The more sexually active you are, the more often you think about having sex. Start the trend of having sex more frequently, in turn he should start intiating sex more often on his own.

Well I know that talking will do good and I have tried for about a year to help him get things off his mind and nothing works. We have talked and going to marriage counseling that seems to be good I am very supportive of him but he never wants to do any thing you say that the sex will come well when we do he cums less than 5 min.s and I am still horny. Then we go for about another 2 months before we do it again. How can I help him to relaxe and please me as well as him?

Have you told him what you just told us? Does he fully realize that you are sexually frustrated and out of ideas?

If he is aware of how you are feeling, he is being both lazy and selfish. I'd give him an ultimatum and dump his butt if he does not attempt to comply.

But that's just me. If you have tried everything you can think of and no change, can you live with his ongoing behavior? If you choose to live with it, so be it. If this is something you'd rather not live with, don't.

It sounds like what really needs to happen here is not forcing your husband into a sexual situation but giving him time to adjust to so many stressors and helping him relax.

Maybe you can arrange a night for just the two of you... offer him a relaxing full body massage by candlelight and allow him to wind down. Pressuring him into sex will just add to the stress.

In the meantime, if you're in need of a good orgasm to get by, then masturbate.

YOu're missing the point, girl. Apparently, you are an added stress in his life when sex between husband and wife is a perfect place for relaxation, pleasure, and fun... stress reduction!

I recommend that you talk to a professional, a sex therapist, so you can get advice on how to be a partner in pleasure with your husband, and not a stressor.

Best wishes to you, :)