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-   -   He won't tell his parents were together (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=327453)

  • Mar 10, 2009, 12:44 PM
    Ashley Doll
    He won't tell his parents were together
    I'm a sophomore in college, and my boyfriend is just about to graduate in May. We have been dating for two years and i have been dealing with the fact that he is leaving, but that isn't the part that is bothering me. what is really bothering me is his parents don't know how serious we have been, for example i asked him to come to church with me on ash wednesday and his mother said to him "wow, yall are getting pretty serious since your going to church with her?" he then replied "no, one of the guys on the team asked me to go and i invited her," and clearly it was just him and i that went. my feelings were hurt, but when i brought it up he just changed the subject. it happens a lot when we go out on dates together, visiting for christmas, etc. He frequently talks about getting engaged, our future, a wedding, kids and so on and its as if hes building me up for a let down. the funny thing is he seems so in love, always hugging, touching, and kissing on me, and he has to let everyone know im his girlfriend. i feel like he is afraid to let his parents know what he feels because they support him financially, but i have been supporting him to. He was planning on staying and double majoring but he is to scared to say anything to his parents, i feel like im coming to a dead end. he is 22 years old, and can't think for himself. should i get out? or should i deal with being hidden away in a long distance relationship? how can i bring up the topic in a better way? or get better progress:confused:
  • Mar 10, 2009, 05:57 PM
    mudweiser
    Hmm very fishy. Do you know if he's introduced any of his previous girlfriends to his parents? If he as then he's probably embarrassed of you. If he hasn't or it may not even be that he is embarrassed he may have some issue with his parents about relationships [maybe religious, or even personal].

    Your best bet is to confront him about this and get an answer! Long distance relationships work out when you have good communication and a strong foundation of trust.

    If he keeps dodging the question, get defensive there is a serious issue at bay!

    P.S. Don't try to go behind his back and talk to his parents, it'll only make things worse [he might get mad, his parents may get angry at him for leaving them out of the loop].

    Good luck to you,
    MRS.S
  • Mar 10, 2009, 06:30 PM
    Fr_Chuck

    I think you need to stop beating around the bush and ask him why he is doing this, Ask him for the next trip to his parents, for him to explain to them how serious you are, and even been making marriage plans.

    If he won't tell them, perhaps he is not honest and serioius about it.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 07:41 PM
    Notradomas mike
    Well I think you should confront him on the subject when you two are alone. Ask him how he really feels about you and if he is willing to tell his parents about you. If he says no, ask him why. If you think his reason is good enough at the time then just simply ask him when he would tell them Or if he even plans on telling them. If he gives you no answer then you should stop wasting your time.
  • Mar 10, 2009, 07:54 PM
    nikosmom

    Chuck made some excellent points.

    2 years is a long time to not truly know where you stand in this relationship. You deserve to know what's going on. If you're thinking about keeping things going long-distance, you definitley have to be able to talk about your feelings to make it work.

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