I have some major jealousy issues.
When my boyfriend even kids around about another girl I flip out & get frutstrated to the extreme. I just don't know how to handle things. He tells me "Why so serious" because I do take things to seriously. I'm pretty sure that most girls feel this way about jealousy issues. Any responses towards this would be wonderful. :]

Actually, most girls don't "flip out." Some do, most get irritated, some don't care at all. For example, my husband and I watch "Deal or No Deal" and takes turns guessing which models have implants or not.

Have you been cheated on in the past? Has he cheated on his ex-girlfriends? Can you give us some examples of what he says that makes you flip out?

This is an insecurity issue within yourself, which needs to be resolved through counseling. I know first hand, you can read my posts when I first started on this forum, my struggle is an on going one but I wouldn't be where I am today(a lot better) without the help of therapy. You have underlying issues that cannot be worked out on your own. Get some help and you will feel a lot better

Jealousy stems from self doubt and the threat that you may lose your love to another.It is not unreasonable to feel jealous at times.Flipping out is a bit excessive.

If you have communicated to him several times that you don't like his playing around and he still does it ,ask yourself is he going too far or are you overreacting?It could be a combination of both.

Set some boundaries.Its O.K. to make jokes but no physical contact.Things of that nature.

Jealousy can destroy relationships.You are sending a message to your partner saying * I don't trust you*. Very often we don't trust our own ability to keep our mate interested.

I am including a link that I think you may find helpful.It is a good read.

Overcoming Jealousy

Well it's not about T.V. shows at all. There is a girl who lives right down the road from my boyfriend that he kids around about all the time because he know that it ticks me off more than anything. I am his first girlfriend and he needs to learn that girls are sensitive and I don't think that he understand that issue. I am going to be 18 years old, I'm a Junior in high school & I understand that it's a normal thing to happen. But you know while this relationship is lasting I want it perfect. I should be the ONLY thing on his mind.

Soo... what is he saying exactly?

Well the thing that made me more angry than anything I suppose is that he told me one time that I would look so good if I was thin. But I think the way he said it he meant it to sound better than it did you know? My mom asked him when she first met him what kind of girls do you like on T.V. and he said skinny blonds where I am the complete opposite. I am a beautiful plus size brunette who is outgoing and loves people. All I ask for is his love and not the stupidity. It's uncalled for. I'm sensitive and don't need that bull crap. I just get super jealous when he even mentions her even as a joke.

No, you don't need that. That's uncalled for. The joking around about another girl can maybe be pushed aside but telling you that you'd look good if you were thin? Uh uh, not going to fly by me.

You can do better!

I know but since then he hasn't said anything. & I talked to him about it several times and he is a big guy just like the rest of his family & my family. And he said that if I lost some weight I would feel healthier and look healthier and I responded with that if I lose weight than he should as well. I just don't like to think about it too much because I do love him & I don't think he meant any harm by saying it. But the whole thing with the girls I just get so jealous. It's an issue that I have. I also have wicked anxiety attacks.

It's not that unusual for younger women to feel especially insecure in a relationship... but in this case, your b.f. is in the wrong. There are plenty of nice young guys out there who would be perfectly happy with a nice brunette person! Don't waste your time with this guy... he's being very insensitive.

OK, so here's where people are going to hate me. I don't see anything wrong with him saying that he likes thin blondes on TV. It's his opinion, what he likes, should he change what he finds attractive visually? No! Perhaps he finds the OP attractive for other reasons like personality. How many relationships do you know are simply about looks? None ever last because there is no substance. I also highly doubt that you don't find other guys on TV attractive, they are paid to be on TV for their looks(well 90% of them) so naturally they are going to be attractive. I'm sure my fiancé finds guys who are brunette or black haired on TV attractive and I'm blonde haired. It's not a big deal, humans are visually attracted, we're programmed that way.

I don't agree with how he brought up the girl down the street but if you told him about it and he stopped(which I believe I read) then nothing to worry about. This is where communication comes into play, tell him how you feel in a serious conversation with joking aside.

I love you and I think you are a great person and you are absouletly gorgeous inside and out and you don't find that very often =]

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

OK, so here's where people are going to hate me. I don't see anything wrong with him saying that he likes thin blondes on tv. It's his opinion, what he likes, should he change what he finds attractive visually? No! Perhaps he finds the OP attractive for other reasons like personality. How many relationships do you know are simply about looks? None ever last because there is no substance. I also highly doubt that you don't find other guys on tv attractive, they are paid to be on tv for their looks(well 90% of them) so naturally they are going to be attractive. I'm sure my fiance finds guys who are brunette or black haired on tv attractive and I'm blonde haired. It's not a big deal, humans are visually attracted, we're programmed that way.

I don't agree with how he brought up the girl down the street but if you told him about it and he stopped(which I believe I read) then nothing to worry about. This is where communication comes into play, tell him how you feel in a serious conversation with joking aside.

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I agree that there's nothing wrong with finding people attractive. I get excited when The Rock or Vin Diesel show up on my TV; my better half gets excited when Megan Fox is on. That's completely normal.

What's not okay is that the OP's boyfriend makes stupid comments about how she'd look so good if she was thin. There's nothing wrong with being big and that is one of the most stupid things anyone could say, whether they "meant it in a good way" or not.

Obviously, the OP needs to love herself a lot more. Once she accomplishes that, it won't matter who her significant other finds attractive because she'll know that even though he thinks they're good-looking, she's the most beautiful person he'll ever have met.

But the thing is he has been better & I know I sound like a fool, I'm not a stupid teenager. I know that he will not be my forever but he will be my right now. I love him to death & I'm taking each day at a time. He would do nothing to change me because he loves me for exactly who I am. :]

Its hard to enjoy a relationship, when one partner is young, and insensitive, and the other has panic attacks, and insecurity issues. If you think this will go any where, and enjoy it, you have to talk, and listen so you can work together. You both have to give a little to share a lot, no matter what the issues are. Work on your own issues if nothing else. Its all about how you act, not how you feel. If you were happy with yourself, you wouldn't be threatened by that skinny bonde down the road, or any other female he may talk to, or look at.

Everything is better now, we talked things over & things are perfect.. well not perfect but pretty close to it. He apologized for what he said in the past so that is that. Thank everyone so much for the advice. There were some who I didn't agree with because I didn't want to hear it but other than that it was very relieving to read & know that everything CAN be okay. I will not stop talking on here I will continue! :] If anyone has myspace please feel free to add me.
Thank you again.
- Noelle.