Ask Me Help Desk - Who to chooose

Who to chooose

I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years and lover her but I now have developed feelings for a close friend. What should I do? I really like this other girl but still love my girlfriend. Me and my girlfriend have been arguing a lot recently and its getting me really down. Also the other girl doesn't know and I don't know whether to tell her or not. HELP:confused:

Grass is always greener on the other side of the fence when you stop watering your own...

It is normal to have feelings for someone else from time to time, but I don't think it is reasonable to act on them... perhaps you should focus your attention on the girl you have spent three years with. That's what I would do. You can't just jump to the next girl when things aren't going well. Relationships take work, A LOT of it... it isn't always a fairytale.

I would bet you have been arguing more recently because you are not giving your 100% to this relationship. Three year relationships are comfortable, but they aren't new, fresh and exciting, unless you work to make them continue to grow.

Put your effort back into your current relationship. Boredom isn't a reason to stray and the grass isn't always greener on the other side of that fence.

Just something to think about... who tends to REALLY start the arguments more between you and your current girlfriend? In my experiences/views of relationships, when someone meets someone else, and think that they may have feelings for them, they start to treat their current partner like crap. You may not even really realize that you are... maybe you don't talk to her as much as you used to, tend to be more irritable to minor annoyances and make them seem bigger. I don't know, obviously I could be completely wrong, just something to think about.

As for my opinion, I would say you've already invested 3 years into this relationship, don't just throw it away because of someone else. Try to make things work, don't ever look for the bad things, and always look for the good. Make sure to thank her for the small things she does for you.

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gaytom;1595600, I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years and lover her but I now have developed feelings for a close friend. What should I do?

Your human, your supposed to have feelings for other humans, there is nothing wrong with having feelings for others. What you do about them is an entirely different matter. Stay within the boundaries of good behavior, no problem. It also means coping with those feelings in a positive honest way.

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I really like this other girl but still love my girlfriend.

Normal!!

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me and my girlfriend have been arguing a lot recently and its getting me really down.

Then you haven't been resolving anything. How old are you and what do you argue about??

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also the other girl doesn't know and I don't know whether to tell her or not. HELP:confused:

Tell her or be a liar and a cheater, in which case, you don't need advice.

Our relationships suffer when we get distracted by other things that we think makes us feel good, but never solves the real issues we are having.

Take care of home, and don't run to the distractions, and don't lie to others, or yourself.

That's what your doing know lying to yourself and seeing an easier way out than confront and deal with your own issues. That's what has you down.

Every lawn you look at looks greener because they use the best type of manure on the block. Of course, going to their lawn is great at first because it's new and doesn't require any work, spend a little time with a water bucket, and yours will be the envy again.

If your unhappy with your girlfriend then you need to talk it with her and see what can be done to get the two of you back on track.

However if you really want to be with this other girl than you need to be a man about it before you do something stupid and act on those feelings you have for her and end up hurting someone else in the process.

Life is about choices and living with the choices we make. Relationships are hard work and your not going get along all the time sometimes your going have disagreement but adding someone else to the mix only causes confusion and put you in the situation your in. You need to be honest with yourself and know what your want and than be honest with anyone else, especially your girlfriend.

Just so you all know I am only 17... change your opinion? And the arguments have been going on for a good 6months... plus new girl doesn't like me back...

If you, and your partner argue that much, why are you still together?

I think that possibly your reasons for you and your current girlfriend argueing so much is because you are focused too much on this other girl.
You and your girlfriend have been going out for 3 years...
How long have you known this other girl?
I understand that after a certain amount of time with one person, you can tend to get a little bored and want to go and experience other things.
But if that's the case, then let you girlfriend know.
Let her move on instead of wasting her time.
On the otherhand, if you love her like you say you do. Tell this other girl about your current girlfriend and let her move along.

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Originally Posted by gaytom

plus new girl doesn't like me back...

Well that's one problem solved :cool: