What's the best way to get over a break-up? And if you're really in love with that person, do you think it's worth it to give in patience and wait, and hope for that person to come back to you one day?
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What's the best way to get over a break-up? And if you're really in love with that person, do you think it's worth it to give in patience and wait, and hope for that person to come back to you one day?
I waited and waited and he never came back, so after that I was far more careful with my heart. The best way is to have no contact, which of course I didn't do with him (we owned a company together and it took some time to raise enough capital to affect a buy-out). Later I learned how messed up I was and fixed that so I was better able to meet the kind of person I really wanted to be with. I learned to go slow and to date and to break up with no contact and lots of other valuable stuff. I joined the "if its worth breaking up over, its worth staying broken up over" club so I never took anyone back after it ended.
I met someone finally (just when I gave up looking too LOL)... and after a slow courtship and falling in love a second time, we've been happily marriage for a while now. And if we broke up, I would not go for seconds on it either. I am not that needy anymore and it feels like a manipulation to me. We work things out when it gets rough like mature people do instead of jerking each other around by breaking up and getting back together over and over like teenagers do.
Love this line ValQuote:
We work things out when it gets rough like mature people do instead of jerking each other around by breaking up and getting back together over and over like teenagers do.
I don't believe in waiting for somebody finally deciding to want me. Get on with your life and work on the things you enjoy. Needy people wait. Healthy people live their life and don't look back.
As for hoping that the person will come back to you one day, that's not a good move. It may happen but don't bank your hopes on it. Actually you have to cut off any and all contact with them. No calls, no e-mails, no texting, nothing. If they contact you, don't respond, at least not immediately. Then get on with your own life and do the things that interest you. Take a class, take up a new hobby, take a vacation or whatever else you want to do. Work on yourself right now as you are your own best friend. You don't need a romantic partner to complete you.
Heyy
My ex boyfriend dumped me after 2 years together- it has been four months since the breakup. The best advice I can give is from what others have told me and from what I myself have experienced- no contact with the ex at all! No emails, no checking away messages or blogs <---( this one is still hard on me), no calling, no stopping bye, no driving bye... nuthing at all! It is the only way to stay sane and to recover. Cry all you need to, vent to friends, and get one best friend or close friend to be there at all times (even those eary am times) in case you need to cry at any time. It will be a very long, hard road. It takes some people a shorter amount of time and some a longer but it depends on each person and each relationship. Don't rush the process. Don't jump into another relationship too soon, you can date if you want to but be careful not to get involved so early. My best advice is to stay single and to take care of yourself. Do what YOu want, this is time for you to focus on yourself and your life. Remember if you need to cry, yell, scream, get it out- either verbally or write in a journal or blog. Just know that I have been through it like lots of others, and it's a very difficult time. It will take time to heal your heart. And I personally do not think you should wait for the ex to come back. Usually they move on, or decide they can't get back into the relationship with you and this will only break your heart again and disappoint you- when a relationship ends or goes on a break it is broken and usually can never be fixed. Just let go slowly and tell yourself they might never come back and try to go on as if they are not there. Because I kept holding onto the fact that my ex would come back and he never did... hang in there and goodluck!
Time. It takes time.
I dated one gal for 6 months... it took 5 months to get over her... it's different in evey situation.
Another for over a year and I dated someone within in two weeks - and stayed with her for a long time... never a rebounf o nthat one.
It's always different.
I'm not sure if I should start a new post for this but that is a good point Wildcat. Do you know, I mean is there an answer why some short relationships take time to heal and longer ones seem to or can seem to heal quickly?Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildcat21
It depends on the person I think and what place your in at the time.
What if you both still really like each other and its solely because of distance? If one person is trying to cut off the feelings because a long distance relationship isn't working, should the other person wait to see if they change their mind? A couple should break up because they miss each other too much? WHAT?
That's different - But I would never wish a long dstance reationsh ip on anyone - too many ups and owns. If something happens YOU NEED TO BE THERE FOR THEM. It's just to difficult and makes no sense. To easy to see other people.
Out of site, out of mind.
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Originally Posted by chuff
Yeah, like Aussie said. It's the connection that is difficult to replace or get over . The person is long gone before the effects are fully gone. The stronger you bond with someone, the longer it takes to get over them.
My ex in college I dated longer than my most recent ex. But it is taking longer to get over the recent ex, then it did my college ex.
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