So my boyfriend and I split. I had been having my doubts anyway and the break up was possibly the most horrific thing I've ever been through.

He told me he didn't want the LDR thing, fair enough, said he had too much stuff on his plate with his work, fair enough, said he didn't want a relationship, fair enough. Then he thought (in his tiny, strange mind) that to make things easier for me he'd then completely and utterly verbally abuse me and attempt to strip me of myself confidence in order to make me "hate him" and thus "make it easier for me to move on".

Plan backfired, I nearly called the police but in the end we sorted it. He took it all back, said he still cares for me and were things different (Ie. If I lived near him) we'd probably be in a very different situation. He thanked me for helping him to realise some stuff about himself and for helping him to move on with his life. I've helped him to focus on his job and he got a brilliant promotion and he's sorry for putting me through so much stress.

I'm understandably upset. I care a lot about him, in all his crazy madness, and feel a bit cheated that I know that it really never stood a chance.

The thing is it took me nearly 3 years to even consider liking someone again after an abusive relationship and when I ended that one it was very cut and dry and got over it immediately.

I'm now in a position where I have to get over someone for the first time in many, many years. I've done the usual... emptied my messages, deleted his numbers, ripped up the love letters and thrown out the presents, blocked his Facebook... am attempting to forget his phone number. Luckily as he lives in London I don't have to see him and as we never really managed to overlap our friends I don't have to worry about bumping into him or hearing updates about him.

I got horrendously drunk last night and had a really good time, felt free and happy. Spent the day today in bed, hungover and mopey. I'm starting a new job tomorrow with no ties and am able to start making a proper life for myself down here how can I suppress... or work through even, these emotions.

My family have been wonderful and my best friend has been on the end of the phone to hold my hand... but what steps can I take emotionally to get through the next few days... and perhaps the next few weeks and months till it stops hurting.

1. Read the stickys.
2. Exercise.
3. Make a short terms goal list. Do it.

I've only just noticed the stickies *embarrassed*.

I'd be interested to hear people's stories of bizarre ways they've gotten over people.

You really need to understand that it just takes time. But by keeping yourself busy with things you like to do and even taking up new ventures just seems to make that time go quicker.

It should also be easier for you with the fact NC is simple for you. Some people don't have that luxury.

Good Luck!

Some good reads on this forum, check out Isneezefunny, kctiger and even mine.