Ask Me Help Desk - Cheating husband

:confused: my husband meet some woman for a coffee he meet her on a dating site he said he would never cheat I see him kiss her as I got off the bus he didn't see me, he told me when I confronted him he stopped going on the site I no he hasn't and I have since found out he is a off a lot of dating sites he is also addicted to porn we never spend any time together he is always upstairs on the compute and I'm down stairs with the two little girls we have together, I was in a violent cheating relationship before for 20 years and he was on dating sites. I've tried talking to my husband about it, and told him how I feel he said he had stopped but he hasn't because I've joined and used a different name and I'm flirting with him he docent no its me I just wanted to see if he had stopped, I don't want to be with him now I'm fed up with being cheated on and hurt is it me is something wrong with me that's why men trait me like that any advice please help

I am recently divorced. My ex and I spent no time together either. I was always on my computer he was always on his. I was Yahoo chatting with someone I met online that I ended up leaving m ex for, I have reason to believe m,y ex was cheating on my with a girl I thought was MY friend. I would say move away with yor girls NOW aasao. I was foolish and moved with my ex to Colorado for the sake of our young daughter who is now 4 1/2. He fought me over custody of her when I trusted he wouldn't and now he he has sole decision making and custody.

Quote:

Originally Posted by neednadvice

I am recently divorced. My ex and I spent no time together either. I was always on my computer he was always on his. I was yahoo chatting with someone I met online that I ended up leaving m ex for, I have reason to believe m,y ex was cheating on my with a girl I thought was MY friend. I would say move away with yor girls NOW aasao. I was foolish and moved with my ex to colorado for the sake of our young daughter who is now 4 1/2. He fought me over custody of her when I trusted he wouldnt and now he he has sole decision making and custody.

Thank you, I'm am leaveing asap with my 2 daughters but I'm waiting for the council to rehouse me

There's nothing wrong with you but there are things you need to do inside of you. We attract who we are. We also attract what we focus on and, because you've been in a cheating relationship before, you probably went into this one thinking "I don't want a man who cheats. I don't want a man who cheats" but understand that what you focus on becomes bigger so you say "I don't want a man who cheats" and then what do you get? A man who cheats.

Don't mistake my words. His behavior has everything to do with him and NOTHING to do with you but what I'm telling you is about you making sure that this never happens again. From now on, don't focus on what you DON'T want, focus on what you DO want. Say to yourself, "I love who i am and i accept myself. I deserve the best and the next man who walks in my life will be honest, amazing, faithful, loving and tremendous because that's what I deserve and I accept it."

You say this everyday, all the time and you say it UNTIL you believe it. That might take 500 times, 5000 or 5 million times of saying it but you must commit to changing the way you look at things.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change...

Unhappily Married

Thank you for the lovely words I will try that when I'm ready for another relationship but I will start telling myself that now

My husband cheated on me two years ago and I'm still with him, I forgave him after a painful while... even felt as if were my fault somehow... but now I wonder about my own reasoning, the emotional scars are so deep I feel I will never be the same person ( I miss my old self) I'm the type of person who depends on and needs trust, besides, it takes me awhile to trust someone. All those years just thrown away, years of trusting. Now I'm beginning to feel he deserves to be in a different relationship (of all people) lol, with someone who will trust him again. Of course I keep this all inside most of the time I do it by chalking it up to paranoia combined with ignorance. But then complete trust is what got me in this mess to begin with. Think long before getting into another relationship. Make sure your wounds are healed. Who wver said time heals all wounds is a fool and has not been wounded deep enough to have two hearts.

Glad to see you have had enough of his BS.

mynameisisabella, hopefully, she has been working on getting her life in order since she hasn't been back since MARCH 2009.

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