Divorced for 8 years, ex wife is putting me in the poor house!
Let me give some background, My ex wife and I have been divorced for 7 years, we have a 8 year old daughter. We are both remarried me for 6 years, her for 4. She has always been money driven even when we were married. When we divorced I gave her everything, the house, car, everything in the house, I paid for her tuition for her bachelors degree and some of the bills. I left with my clothes, my car and very few personal items. I had to start over and asked her for nothing. In our final judgement I was responsible for child support, alimony (totaling almost $4500.00 a month) 2nd mortgage and student loan. She gets to claim our child as a dependent on taxes even though I pay child support, child care and insurance. I even agreed to pay for all our daughters college expenses. She has set herself up to where she is not responsible to pay for anything when it comes to our child. I even pay for extra activities and birthday parties for our daughter.
My issue is this. I paid her almost $4500.00 for 4 years, ($216,000.00 total) then alimony ran out ( I was paying even though she remarried and had someone to support her). She was very upset that the cash cow had stopped. It was just child support now. I paid $1225.00 for my daughter. Let me just explain that I paid much more than I could afford for a long time. As a result of my child support and alimony payments my wife and I lost our home because our mortgage payments were basically going to her. At that time I could not afford an attorney to change things and she would not work with me so I had to pay as not to fall behind. Last October, I lost my job. I fell behind in child support for 2 months which totaled $2450.00. I was trying to seek employement as I am not a deadbeat. My wife owned her own business but was not making enough to support our family (my wife has 3 children) and pay that much child support as well. I told my ex that I lost my job to please work with me. She instead filed criminal intent charges and ask to have me sent to jail for being behind $2450.00 after as much as I have paid in the past and never asked for anything. I had to get a public defender and they kept me out of jail. We agreed to $300.00 a month until I found a job ( however I am responsible for her attorney fees). I took a job not making much money right now but it is better than not working at all. She went to court and somehow got an income deduction order to take 50% of my pay each paycheck. I pay for child care even though she works from home and my daughter doesn't need after school care and I pay $120.00 in health insurance even though her entire families premium is $140.00. We can barely afford food for our family, we are losing everything and she is taking 50% of what I make.
What can I do. I can't afford an attorney. Does she not understand that by strapping me, it is affecting my daughter when she is with me? I am trying to find a better job but with unemployement as high as it is, it has been difficult.
What are my options? I don't know what to do. Do I need to go out and get 3 jobs so I can support my family and she still gets 50% of what I make. If I work 3 jobs and make $4000.00 she will get $2000.00. It does not take that much money to raise a 8 year old whom she has roughly 18-20 days a month. She just wants extra income so she does not have to go out and get a job. She has not truly worked since our daughter was born. I know I need to support my daughter, I have no problem but when is enough-enough? Why should my ex be put in a superior financial situation while we can barely eat? Why should I have to pay for after school care when she can pick her up after school because she does not work outside the home ( in fact my daughter is usually there for about an hour and a half each day), why should I pay $120.00 a month for insurance when her entire premium is $140.00. I feel as if I can't get ahead. Even if I make more she gets more... it never ends. I just can't afford it!
I need to know what I can do and if I am being unreasonable or if I have a valid concern. I know there are many mothers that would just like to receive child support because their ex's do not pay. I have always paid ( a lot ) I just can't afford what I used to pay. I think 50% is crazy. PLEASE HELP!