I am having a BAD day at work today. Maybe I'm too much of a sensitive person, but this morning, I had a co worker kind of go off on me in front of all the other ladies in our group.
I am a very sweet person always, so I don't know why she did this but I am truly hurting by this.
What I mean by "kind of go off" on me is-(here is the story): I have been working here for only 5 months now. When I started working here, I was handed over several reports to take over, including one from this lady who told me off.
Well, this month, there was a problem with the results of the report, and the person who receives it every month brought it to my attention. She asked if she should go to the person who use to handle it (the lady that went off on me) and I told her to just come on over here and take a look at with me first to see if we could handle it before bringing someone else into it. Well, I started to tell the lady that went off on me (who sits behind me) that this person was coming over to help me look at the report and she may try to ask questions about it, but before I could finish my sentence, she was like "You need to handle this on your own, this is your responsibility, not mine" and she was making loud sighs (the kind one who is frustrated would make) and just the tone she used and the way she acted was totally disrespectful-not to mention she did it in front of the others in the group. They are all friends, of course, so now I feel like the talk of the group because I know how they are and I know when I am being treated differently. Now, none of them are really talking to me. I thought we were all friends as we've all shared personal stories with each other that you don't normally sit down and converse to a stranger about.
Anyhow, she sent me a message telling me she was sorry for being snippy, however I needed to take initiative on my own, which I also felt was inappropriate because she had no right-she didn't even let me finish what I was trying to say in the first place. I didn't answer her.
Now I feel uncomfortable being here, I feel like I don't belong here and my heart is truly broken. Am I being a baby or do I have a right to feel this way?
I'm just trying not to act childish about it, so that is why I am coming here. My question: How do I get over this and not feel so bad about myself? I am really feeling insecure here and starting to doubt my intelligence because of the way she has come down on me.
Sorry for the novel...

If this is a single incident, I think you are just being childish. The lady apologized and acknowledged she was "snippy". Your self-conscious right now, and worrying about what others might be thinking or saying about you. It's likely a bigger event in your mind that is actually is to others in the office.

If you've had no other problems with this lady and the other co-workers before this incident, you should simply dismiss it as "she's the one having a bad day, I am not". Over the weekend it will likely be all forgotten. If it comes up next week - when you are less emotionally invested - you can tell her you were just trying to give her a "heads up" about it.


If this is not a single incident, but something that is part of a continuing trend of you "not fitting in" with the group, then you should ask yourself what you can do to improve the situation.

Hmmm... these are always hard for me. I work in an office with 3 women and 3 men. I have been here for 3 years and seen this crew change hands over and over again. For me, I have been able to keep myself separated from any office drama... don't ask me how, its just a gift ;)

But, I am close friends with the girls that work here. We are all pretty close friends. This scenario seems to happen between them every so often.

First of all, this woman that went off on your had no right to. She was likely having a bad day, a bad week, or even just a bad life all together. The others may feel some sort of loyalty to her since she has been there so much longer.

However, it doesn't make it right.

My advice.. first and foremost... don't take it personally (for the sake of the community, I have removed the sh from that saying.. which is really how I mean it lol). That is a hard skill to learn in life but a necessary one.

Second, confront the issue... be the bigger person here. Stay calm and be cooll. Remember... "When emotions run high, intelligence runs low." Explain what happened and express how she made you feel and tell her why you don't think it is appropriate.

The main key is setting boundaries for yourserlf. You need to set your boundaries and don't let people cross them... if they do, confront them.

Cool, calm, and collected :cool:

Dr. J said something very interesting and true "When emotions run high, intelligence runs low.", that goes for everyone, including you. I know what she said was embarrassing but you should have stood your ground and once she was finished hemming and hawing, I would have simply stated... "Had you allowed me to finish my statement, you'd know that... blank... That would have turned the tables completely around and she would felt like a fool instead of you. It would also show that you're not some little wall flower that can be stepped on when someone is having a bad day. Shake it off and respond to her message. Thank her for her acknowledgement of being snippy and tell her you'd appreciate it if she wouldn't jump to conclusions in front of others snapping at you because she embarasses herself as well. Then, drop it. Forget about it, unless of course, it continues. Be professional about it though.