Ask Me Help Desk - I'm still feeling hurt

I keep moving from being upset/angry at my ex and wanting my ex back.

My friend keeps telling me that I should be over my ex by now. Should I already be over my ex?

There are so many things I don't understand and try not to think about.

I'm just full of complaints today. I'm not sure if any of them are valid though. Do you think the following occurrences mean anything?

He was on Gmail a lot before we established our relationship, probably around 6+ hours. Then shortly after we established our relationship I couldn't see him online at all. After we broke up, he's been online every day for 6+ hours.

When I told him that I wanted to attend a club meeting with him he asked me why. He told me that my friends don't ever show up and that there wasn't going to be anything there for me.

I feel you because I'm in the same position like you are ,like I said before. Now no one can tell you to get over him it going to take time , believe me don't try to fight it either because it will ball up inside you and will crush you later on . When time is right you will get over it but that only if you want to , you have allow yourself to cut the cord and move on. And your friends can only comfort you but can not magically make you get over it because they were not in that relationship."There are so many things I don't understand and try not to think about." Yes it hard ! Try not to think about it , the only advice I can think about to give to you is that you may not understand but accept it and I know it is hard not to think about your ex but just TRY keep yourself very busy doing things you like such as going out, hanging out, shopping and movies or doing important things. This is what I been doing to get over my ex and it really helping me and make me a strong women . Also try not to think what he is doing just focus on you , if he online for so many hours then so be it , it not your problem to be stressing over . Your problem is to get over it. He told me that my friends don't ever show up and that there wasn't going to be anything there for me. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING! This is kind of the same thing my ex told me , don't ever let your man talk you down be a strong independent women DONT depend on any man . Don't ever let a guy talk down to you and also don't believe what he saying . If it helps what I do is I think in my mind all the things my ex said to me I'm going to prove him wrong by doing things I like , improving on my life , and going out and having fun. Girl just have confidence , I know it still hard because I'm going through the same thing as we speak but your confidence will allow to become stronger from what you are going through.
P.S don't bother him also leave him alone , when you not paying him any mind then maybe that when he would try to crawl back. Men act very young these days Women mature for faster.

I'm the same. I've accepted the situation but there are good and bad days. One minute I love him, the next I hate him blah blah blah. Its normal, its apart of moving on. As for your friends saying that you should be over it by now. Il just point out that there is not a time limit to get over a break up.

I see your still in contact with him. This will not help your feelings at all. In fact the more you talk to him the more confused/hurt/angry etc you will feel.

NC is good to help you move on, the break up becomes reality and the little hopes you have will slowly die out.

As for the Gmail thing, well (l point out again if you had NC you wouldn't be analysing this situation) because in reality he has just probarly been born and gone online more. Stop analysing him and get started on moving on.

Everything happens for a reason. You never know it could be a blessing in disguise.

Take the hint, and honor his absolute No Contact.

Hey guys, I've been keeping extremely busy these days. I work from 9-5pm every day and whenever there are parties or any events to attend. I go.

I'm sorry, but I need some support. I feel sucky and I miss him.

You got to stick with the no contact if you're going to heal from this relationship. This is going to take time, so just keep up your progress.

It can go like this. When you first break up, it's painful. But the pain can keep getting worse and worse before it starts getting better. But it will get better, you just have to give yourself time and keep staying busy. Just don't contact him at all cause you will just drag out the pain.

As for his gmail stuff... you're going to have to block him and delete him from your contact list until you heal. Because it's also going to drag out your pain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by teastalk

My friend keeps telling me that I should be over my ex by now. Should I already be over my ex?

That's a pretty lousy thing for your friends to say. If anything, they should tell you that you can do better.

You get over him when you get over him. During my first break-up, I thought I was weak because to get over her completely, it took me 4.5 times the period I actually dated her. And I read that it usually takes three months per every year you dated... bullsh*t I tell you. Anyway, I went through another break-up and it turned out to be same time-frame for me to move on, and I'm currently in one now and as far as I can tell, I'm on track. Everyone's different.

Learn at your own pace so you can get the most out of this experience. Break-ups can be very rewarding.

Its good that your keeping busy, the more stuff to do the better.

Remember there are downs before ups, and things can only get better.Everything happens for a reason.

If you feel bad come on this site and answer questions it will help to keep your mind busy and you will be helping others too.

By the way are you doing NC?

I still occasionally see him around school but we don't talk to each other.

Quote:

Originally Posted by teastalk

I still occasionally see him around school but we don't talk to each other.

I bet it hard him being in the same school as you. Its good that you don't talk to him anymore as this would only hurt you more. Don't worry one day you will be completely healed and all these negative emotions will be over with. I know sometimes it feels like these feeling will never die out, but they must do. Know one ever died over a broken heart.

Goodluck

Thanks for the support guys!

I think that I've come to the realization that he treated me poorly and that I shouldn't have taken that kind of treatment. Next time I will quit when I'm ahead...