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-   -   My girlfriend can't make up her mind (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=325385)

  • Mar 5, 2009, 02:04 PM
    MrBlue
    My girlfriend can't make up her mind
    synopsis:
    Relationship Duration: 1 year and 7 months
    Ages: Male: 22, Female: 21, both college students
    Financial situation: Broke



    Last night my girlfriend and I sat down and talked. She told me that the relationship is getting boring, and she's starting to lose interest in me. She continued to say that all we do is study, eat, go on the computer, watch T.V. and sleep. She said recently everything seems repetitive and boring. It's not the same as before.

    I told her I love her very much, and I never felt that way. I am very comfortable with her.

    Long story short, she kept on talking about the negatives of our relationship, but she never said "we should break up." So I asked her if she wanted this relationship to end, and she nodded. She claimed that she is still young, and wants to see what's out there. She went on saying I'll find someone better than her. She assured me that we will still be best friends. I've accepted her decision and told her that if that's the way she feels then it is pointless to continue. I was about to leave but she stopped me, with teary eyes she kissed me, and said she really don't know what she is doing... I stayed with her for the night.

    Honestly I want this relationship to work, but apparently it is one sided.

    What should I do?

    *No, she's not cheating on me.*
  • Mar 5, 2009, 02:26 PM
    kctiger

    Her heart clearly isn't in it. This happens to a lot of relationships. It is the "comfortable" feeling that can be the downfall really. Once you get complacent, things get routine and boring. You both are young, and this is not an uncommon event. It just happens. I don't think there is a lot you can do, and like you said, you can't just be the only one dedicated to fixing this. You have a lot of other things in your life right now you can focus on, a girl who doesn't truly want to be with you anymore shouldn't be one of them...

    I know it sucks, and it is hard to let go of something you are comfortable with, as we tend to fear change. Her replies to your questions suggest she has no real intention of keeping this up, and to do so would only prolong the inevitable. Also, forget the friends thing. That is just "break up" language for: I don't want to be with you, but I don't want to hurt your feelings too much, so we "can" still be friends. Once a new man enters her life, that ain't the reality of things.

    Good luck!
  • Mar 5, 2009, 02:30 PM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    I think that you are doing the right thing, let her go. Let her sow her wild oats. It happens.
  • Mar 5, 2009, 02:38 PM
    DbranikaC

    I understand that it sucks because you are so comfortable around her, but when things start to get boring, so may the relationship and since she is young, she wants to see what else is out there and not be stuck in the same "boring" situation and relationship. Although you may love her, you don't want to get played or be in the relationship when it is just one sided. A relationship involves two people and if she isn't in it, then there is no point for you to be.
  • Mar 5, 2009, 03:42 PM
    talaniman

    She was honest, so respect her decision, and disappear from her life, and let her have fun!
  • Mar 5, 2009, 03:44 PM
    Fizzy Burst

    Don't put yourself through the time and effort of trying to fix things. If she wanted it to work out then she would have said that. If you don't want to feel like crap all of the time, then don do the "lets be friends" stuff. It's not worth it.

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