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-   -   All was perfectly good, until her ex appeared in the scene. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=324661)

  • Mar 3, 2009, 08:08 PM
    PR0587
    All was perfectly good, until her ex appeared in the scene.
    Im a 21 year old guy who dated this girl for the past 5 months. This girl was REALLY into me all the way from the beginning; however, I wasn't too much interested in her at first... As time passed by, I started to gain more confidence and got convinced that this relationship could be upgraded into a serious one... All those 5 months that we were dating, she was really upset because I didn't wanted to take the next step... She was very in love with me...

    St Valentine's Day came up and I bought her a great present and finally took the next step, and she accepted.

    Here comes the interesting part... One week after we were in the serious relationship, she went with me to a party at a friend's house; and there was her ex, a guy she didn't saw in the past 7 months... All was cool, two days later she broke up with me because she was confused with this other guy.. she told me she love me a lot but couldn't be with me because if so, she will be being dishonest and unfaithful. The thing is all evidence suggest me that she doesn't want to comeback with her ex, but as she tells me, she is not comfortable with those emotions she is feeling lately.

    Im really pissed cause I finally saw a real relationship taking place, and I really want to be with her, but she is not calling me (she always was the one who made the calls), when I call her she is not the same as before as a looooooot less lovely but pushy, and she is acting very strangely when we are casually together at college. Also if she is being honest with me and telling me that she really likes me, why she did not ask me for time and a little space so that she can make up her mind but prefers to break up and lose this unique opportunity?

    Any thoughts?
  • Mar 3, 2009, 08:18 PM
    friend4u178

    When someone breaks up with you they have generally been thinking about it for a while , she may just be using the Ex as an excuse. I know you say she Loves you but her actions clearly show she doesn't. Words are easy but actions are what count.

    You calling and texting etc. is a common trait when you have been dumped so you need to stop that as it only pushes her further away.

    Best thing to do is go No Contact and if she really wants you back she may just miss you. Not easy but that's the best way and then you will start your healing process instead of being stuck with False hope for months on end.

    Read the material at the top of this forum for some insite into how other people have coped with this situation , and just come back and vent whenever you feel the need. There are a lot of good listeners on here.

    Good Luck!
  • Mar 3, 2009, 08:35 PM
    Triplell
    5 months of dating and she breaks up with you because she saw her ex at a party. Best way to go about this depends on what you want.'

    1)If you really want to be with her, then you have to just act like you don't need her. If you were really a big part of her life, you have to let her know what she is missing. It's a pretty simple mind , but it works. You don't go looking for the remote until you realize that it's missing... same exact type of thing. Find something else to do to occuies your time, because you will be thinking about her a lot.

    2) You realize it's not that serious. You enjoyed her company, but you weren't really as interested as she was. I guess this point becomes moot, because either way you're going to just do the same. Go on with your life, meet new people, have fun. Keeps your options open.
  • Mar 12, 2009, 06:22 PM
    PR0587

    After a couple of days of no contact, I saw her today... We didn't talked too much since we were with a mutual girlfriend and they were both constantly talking in the train... It killed me the fact that she was perfectly normal, laughing and having a really good time with our other friend... Inside, I was very angry and couldn't believe that she was behaving that way! Im really pissed and sad. It really sucks... :( I can't take her from my mind.. It haven't being very hard from me compared to my past break ups..
  • Mar 12, 2009, 06:27 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PR0587 View Post
    After a couple of days of no contact, I saw her today...We didnt talked too much since we were with a mutual girlfriend and they were both constantly talking in the train...It killed me the fact that she was perfectly normal, laughing and having a really good time with our other friend...Inside, i was very angry and couldnt believe that she was behaving that way! Im really pissed and sad. It really sucks... :( I can't take her from my mind..It haven't being very hard from me compared to my past break ups..

    It hurts I know , but its perfectly normal to feel the way you did.

    Unfortunately there's no magic potion to make the pain go away quickly , TIME is the greatest healer. And you just have to suppress your feelings if you happen to be around her and act normal and confident. Believe me in a few months time you will be so happy you did and you'll have kept your dignity.
  • Mar 13, 2009, 10:48 AM
    talaniman

    Break ups suck for sure, especially under your circumstances. The good news is, that chapter of your life is over, and you can see other options, and opportunities that will make you much happier.

    If it helps, she realized she was using you to get over an ex, but it didn't work.

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