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-   -   Blowing me off? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=324516)

  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:21 PM
    jb1111
    Blowing me off?
    My boyfriend used to blow me off on the weekends a lot and I've asked him about it and he's given me three reasons...

    1. He wanted space (totally understandable)
    2. He's afraid I'm one of those girls that wants to be with him every single night like what has happened to him in the past (o.k. that made me feel great thanks, and I'm not like that)
    3. He was stressed out about a decision he was trying to make about the two of us (he moved and we had talked about me moving with him and he was having a really hard time deciding what he wanted)

    My question is, are all these really valid reasons to blow someone off? Could there be something more to it or what? I should probably just ask him... actually I plan to, just wanted other people's opinions...
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:22 PM
    this8384

    It sounds to me like he's not completely committed to your relationship.
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:22 PM
    kctiger

    You have already posted a question which would be much more clear had you provided the details of this particular thread... you think he is cheating on you... and these are the reasons... right??
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:23 PM
    Justwantfair

    Sounds like you fit in when there isn't anything better going on.

    Why else would he avoid you exclusively on weekends? Decide on a day apart, not a weekend.

    Need more information for the most accurate response, but with what is given that is what I think.
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:27 PM
    jb1111

    Well... yes... I guess it is part of the reason why I think he's cheating or has cheated, or the reasons sometimes I doubt his feelings towards me. I talked to him about blowing me off and he's really worked on it but from a couple of the responses, he's made me feel like I only fit in when there's nothing better going on and that he's not really committed to the relationship. I guess I'm going to need to talk to him about it later... ugh..
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:28 PM
    Justwantfair

    I think that is EXACTLY what is actions are showing.

    If he isn't that into you, you can't talk him into it, you need to begin doing things for yourself.
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:30 PM
    jb1111

    I don't want to try talking him into it... I'm just kind of hoping that if he's not that into me he'll just break it off... it's not fair to either of us to be in a relationship when one of us isn't committed to it or doesn't want to be in it. What do you mean start doing things for myself?
  • Mar 3, 2009, 02:32 PM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by jb1111 View Post
    I don't want to try talking him into it...I'm just kind of hoping that if he's not that into me he'll just break it off....it's not fair to either of us to be in a relationship when one of us isn't committed to it or doesn't want to be in it. What do you mean start doing things for myself?

    Screw that garbage. If you aren't happy, man up and break it off with his a$$. Don't wait for him to make the move... why would you do that? Happiness is the key word here. If you aren't happy, be YOUR OWN hero and change things.
  • Mar 3, 2009, 08:17 PM
    NItEMArE129

    Well, you don't have to be checking in every night. You can talk to him on the weekends. And if he moved, if he was really trying to make an effort to you, he would be calling every night.

    And KC is right. Don't depend on him for your happiness; go out and actively pursue it yourself.

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