How can I be more Assertive and not shy so she won't lose interest in me?
Well I met this girl last week and since that day we have hug out 3 times together and have talked every day since. She is a friend of a friend and I know of her but now just getting to know her on a personal level. Hanging out is great and I have started to really like her. She has told me that she thinks I am a really nice guy and she likes that cause the guys she has went out with have treated her like crap and I am the first one that isn't like that. She is not looking for anything relationship wise right now and wants to take it slow with me and see what happens. I just got out of a relationship a year ago and haven't been with anyone since that time and it ended cause she didn't see me and the one she wanted to be with anymore and wished that I was more ASSERTIVE. I always come across as the "NICE GUY" and women like that but even I can notice that I am treating this new girl the same way.
The first night we hung out we watched a movie and we sat there and I acted shy around her. She is not shy at all and I feel I am being and acting like someone that she is going to not be so interested in later on. I leaned over and kissed her and we made out for several hours. The next night we watched another movie but she wanted to make out again so we did. Last night she came over again but this time it was different. We went to her friends house and the awkwardness set in. she thought I looked bored and thought I was mad at her. We then left and went back to my house and made out a little and then we ended up sleeping together but it was a huge mess to say the least. She kept asking me what was wrong and even though there was nothing and it killed the entire time together. She told me that we aren't dating, she just wants to take it slow right now but that's weird seeing as we slept together already. When I took her home she thought the night was really weird and I just kept on say sorry to her and she thinks she made things weird with us even though I feel like I am one doing it to her. She then went on and said well call me if you ever want to hang out again I guess and then just left making me think that she is losing interest in me cause I am not what she wishes that I am.
I really like her and told her that but I feel like I am being someone that she is not going to like later on and it will ruin my chances in being with her. I come off as really shy and even though its been a year since my last relationship I still seem to have those traits that screwed up it up with this new girl. I want to take it slow with this new one but I tend to be kind of a pushover. She is not shy at all and even though people tell me not to be shy around her I come across like that cause that's who I am. She has even told that she there is nothing wrong with being shy and she wants me to be myself but I want to be someone that she can fall for and being this way I don't believe its going to happen. What can I do to change this... any help would be greatly appreciated.
She says were not compatible but I don't think so.any way to change her mind
Well I met this girl last week and since that day we have hug out 3 times together and have talked every day since. She is a friend of a friend and just broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years last week. Hanging out is great and I have started to really like her. She has told me that she thinks I am a really nice guy and she likes that cause the guys she has went out with have treated her like crap and I am the first one that isn't like that and she isn't used to be treated like that. The first night we hung out we watched a movie and I acted shy around her. She is not shy at all but I leaned over and kissed her and we made out for several hours. The next night we watched another movie and she wanted to make out again so we did. Things were going great, talking to her everyday and always wanting to get together.
We went over to her friends house last night and the awkwardness set in. she thought I looked bored and thought I was mad at her. We then left and went back to my house and made out a little and then we ended up sleeping together but it was a huge mess to say the least. She kept asking me what was wrong and even though there was nothing and it killed the entire time together. She told me that we aren't dating, she just wants to take it slow right now but that's weird seeing as we slept together already. When I took her home she thought the night was really weird and I just kept on say sorry to her and she thinks she made things weird with us even though I feel like I am one doing it to her. She then went on and said well call me if you ever want to hang out again I guess and then just left making me think that she is losing interest in me.
I got a call from her this morning and she told me that she doesn't think this is going to work out. She says that we are not compatible and that she doesn't see it working because of how last night went. She then told me that its nothing that I did but that she really isn't wanting anything right now cause her head is really messed up and that if she can get her head right later on we could maybe try again with this. She told me that I should go find a nice girl. I really wasn't myself around her cause when I meet someone for the first time I get shy around them and want them to be comfortable. I don't want to lose this girl cause I really like her. I really think she isn't used to being treated nice and is scared of it and that's why she thinks we don't work. She still wants to talk and maybe hang out sometime but right now she thinks we moved too fast and needs time away from it.
Is there any way that I could show her that it could work if she gives it a little more time. I know what I can do to make it work... slow it down and not be that shy push over guy that she sees in me. But should I give it some time and then try calling her in a few days? Please help!