I've been in a relationship with this guy for a year and a month, and he decided he needs a break. He still loves me he just doesn't know if he wants to be single, and he doesn't want to have a doubt in his mind that he wants to be with me. The thing is, he's expecting me to wait for a couple of weeks till he gets his head straight, then we are going to meet face to face and he will let me know if he's going to come back to me or if he is going to leave me. I mean I really want to be with him, but by the time he comes to me with an answer I might be over him. I want him to want me back so bad, but I don't know how to get him back. Anyone have advice? I just want t obe with him more than anything.

Well... (LoveHim2Much)... just from the help I've received from this sight I have to say... forget him! It is not fair for him to ask you to wait a couple of weeks to see if "he wants to be with you or not"! Sounds a little fishy to me that he wants a "couple week" break! He may have someone else in mind and he wants to give it a go with that person and if that doesn't work then he will probably go back to you! You also said that you may be over him by then! If you really loved him... you wouldn't be over him in a couple of weeks! Don't you think you deserve better than this? Don't sell yourself short! When I went through a break sooooo many people told me "there are so many fish in the sea"! I was tired of hearing that but you know what... THERE ARE!!

Heyy...

My ex boyfriend ( we went out for 2 years) told me the same thing... he said he needed a "break" to give him a couple of weeks and that then he would decide and come to me... 2 weeks came and went- an agonizing two weeks. I cried every night- if it had ended it would have been time to start grieving the loss of the relationship and moving on but the fact that it might be over, or it might not- every night was unbearable. After almost 3 weeks I came to him and he said he never wanted a "break" ( he was the one who said he wanted it) and said that he only said "break" for me... so in other words- had I not came to him he would have never have came to me and ended it and I would still be sitting and waiting for him! You are better than this! I know how hard it is- it has been 4 months since it ended completely for me and my ex, and they were long hard months- take time to get over him, focus on yourself and when you are ready you can then move on- it may take months- years for you to be ready ( depending on the person really). Anyhow, after 4 months I'm starting to feel better but it is extremely hard sometimes. My advice is to tell him that its over. You do not need to settle for a broken relationship- the fact that he even needs time away shows that he is unsure where this is headed... ending it now is better than sitting around and waiting for him- trust me I hope no one ever goes through what I did with the whole waiting around for him to decide the fate of "our" relationship... goodluck! And if you need to talk I'm here for you- just message me.

Doubts are best handled upfront but still within the relationship in an ongoing, two-sided conversation. They are not a valid reason to step outside and if that is what's proposed, the relationship needs to be radically altered or ended right there. This arrangement of "wait and dangle whilst I see how I feel" stuff is just plain cruel. While I can appreciate the problems created by a relationship that is formed too fast, I have but one suggestion to this "take a break" thing-- counter the offer with one of your own-- offer to slow it down or forget it. At least then you'll know where you stand. Otherwise you are letting them play your fear of knowing the worst against you not knowing and hoping for the best with no tangible to go on. And that is actually called manipulation-- which takes both a manipulator and a manipulatee. Think about it.

Don't worry about getting him back. You answered your own question when you said that "by the time he gets back to you with an answer you might be over him." If I were you I'd become a little aloof at this point and make him chase you. No calls, no e-mails, no texting. If he wants a break let him have it. Meanwhile, you do whatever you want to do. Then make him work when he finally decides that he's ready to come back to you.

I agree with all the answers given!

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't know what they want? He wants a break, give it to him, no contact, move on with your life and get into a healthy relationship with fun communication. I wouldn't have time for this wishy washy stuff and would certainly not be sitting on my hands waiting for somebody to figure themselves out.

Move on. Me thinks there may be another lady involved and you are his backup plan. Happens all the time - just a reminder - this might not be the case, but I would put money down that this is the case.

Find someone who knows they want to be with you.

If you take him back... be caucious... be busy...

You have to give him an ultimatium. My ex tried to say the same thing. She wanted a break, she was confused, needed to sort things out. Then I said that's just a break-up, is that what you want. Usually, the answer to that is yes.

If you want to be with someone, you don't take a break from them. If anything, your partner should be with you as you grow as a person. People don't take breaks, they break up. Maybe after the self-improvement of BOTH parties, people can come back.

But the second time around, should be a brand new relationship. Clearly, something did not work in the old one. Otherwise you wouldn't have broken up.

IF you get back together, it should be as two new people, starting a new relationship together. One that is better than the old one. One that actually works. Because you two are no longer the same people. You will have to learn about this man again as he will have learn about you again. That will not happen with your "break". Because you're sitting at home wondering what that means, while he's out there doing god knows what.

Break-up, feel the pain and sorrow, get better, and become better than you are now. Let him do the same. And then, perhaps if it comes back together, it will work. Two new people, who are better than they were before, start a NEW relationship, a better one. I think, it's the only way you two can be together again.

Good stuff Cali - you're getting it.

That's why there is no contact - very important. Change. Work on yourself. Meet new people. Date.

I think she shouls move on... this guy is telling her something. If they get back together it should be in a few months.