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-   -   Answers would b nice (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=322839)

  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:01 PM
    Hannahbugg
    Answers would b nice
    So I feel like I am doing another remake on what other people are talking about in other threads but not every relationship is the same. So I need some answers or help an I'm hoping maybe you guys can help me out. My boyfriend just broke up with me after dating for seven months. He never gave me a reason as to why he split with me. Im not sure if every breakup the person going through the break up always gets a reason. I just don't want to be the only one going through the heartache of this. Is it wrong for me to hope that he is suffering just like I am? Another thing do guys grieve over breaking up with someone? I want this person back in my life I just don't know how to make it happen. Can you guys help me any??
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:11 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Hannahbugg View Post
    So i feel like i am doing another remake on what other people are talking about in other threads but not every relationship is the same. So i need some answers or help an im hoping maybe u guys can help me out. My boyfriend just broke up with me after dating for seven months. He never gave me a reason as to why he split with me. Im not sure if every breakup the person going through the break up always gets a reason. I just dont want to be the only one going through the heartache of this. Is it wrong for me to hope that he is suffering just like i am? Another thing do guys grieve over breaking up with someone? I want this person back in my life i just dont know how to make it happen. Can u guys help me any???

    If he not only broke up with you, but didn't even give you the courtesy of a reason, I would have no hope of getting back together with him (nor would I want to!). Why would you think he is suffering?

    Move forward and hang out with friends, go on group dates, have fun.
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:15 PM
    Hannahbugg
    I guess because I didn't see it coming so I had no time to prepare myself for when he told me about the break up so I still have feelings for this person. And like I said I feel bad for hoping he is suffering because I know I am going through a heartache and I just want him to be suffering regretting the decision he has made
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:19 PM
    UnluckyDucky
    I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. Many of us never get a straight answer from the person who breaks up with us, and those that do usually get lied to or get some other made up reason. We rarely ever get the truth.

    Is it wrong for you to hope that he's suffering like you are? Well if its just out of revenge that's not a healthy attitude to keep...

    I know deep inside you want to believe that the relationship meant something - that deep inside he is hurting over this too. I can't speak for him, but I can tell you as a guy who has done the breaking up before it wasn't easy for me. My stomach was in knots and I felt horrible for days. I literally felt sick to my stomach.

    We all want that special someone back. Unfortunately there's nothing we can do to make this happen because that person has to want to be back with us. If you advice on how to get him back, that is something that we simply cannot help with, but if you want to get over this pain and grief we can give you advice and tools you can use to do so.

    You're not alone in your pain, many of us here have gone through the same feelings you are experiencing right now.
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:19 PM
    artlady

    Quote:

    Another thing do guys grieve over breaking up with someone?
    Yes,some do,they are human beings with feelings.I have seen many men take a break -up worse than a girl because their egos were damaged.

    Quote:

    Quote:

    I want this person back in my life I just don't know how to make it happen.

    He just broke up with you without giving you a reason so why would you want him back? The least he could have done if he had any respect for you was to say *I'm sorry but I just don't feel the same*.

    Bottom line is this.. you can't make someone love you or want you.Never waste your time on someone who is not into you.

    Breaking up is awful and it hurts but you can get through it with the right attitude.See this as a learning experience and move on.
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:33 PM
    Hannahbugg
    I guess I'm still in shock and I'm just wanting him to want me back. I don't think I'm the only one who has wanted someone back after a break up. I'm not exactaly looking for ways to get him back because I know he has to want me back. I just know guys show break ups way differently then us girls do. By acting like it isn't fazing them one bit. And I'm not sure to be happy to think he is doing OK with this or angry that he isn't showing any type of sadness. Like I was that easy to get over you know??
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:46 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Hannahbugg View Post
    i guess im still in shock and im just wanting him to want me back. i dont think im the only one who has wanted someone back after a break up. im not exactaly looking for ways to get him back because i know he has to want me back. i just know guys show break ups way differently then us girls do. by acting like it isnt fazing them one bit. and im not sure to be happy to think he is doing ok with this or angry that he isnt showing any type of sadness. like i was that easy to get over u know???

    No, you're not the only one wishing he would realize what he did and come back. We've all been there! Now, treat yourself well, like he didn't, and get moving toward the best life you can have!
  • Feb 27, 2009, 01:52 PM
    artlady
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Hannahbugg View Post
    i guess im still in shock and im just wanting him to want me back. i dont think im the only one who has wanted someone back after a break up. im not exactaly looking for ways to get him back because i know he has to want me back. i just know guys show break ups way differently then us girls do. by acting like it isnt fazing them one bit. and im not sure to be happy to think he is doing ok with this or angry that he isnt showing any type of sadness. like i was that easy to get over u know???

    Many men act as if they could care less after a break-up.That is just male bravado.Men have very big egos and so they act as if nothing hurts them.

    I understand it would make you feel better if he was hurting.Its normal to feel that way.
    You want to know that he feels bad about losing someone as nice as you.All normal feelings.

    While all this is normal to feel after a break it really is just holding you back from moving on and accepting what has happened and beginning the healing.

    Put your energy toward something that will make you hurt less ,dwelling on the past is only going to make it hurt more.
  • Feb 27, 2009, 02:15 PM
    MiSSsy111222

    Start no contact now. The sooner the better. There are many benefits to NC.

    As for wanting him back this is very normal. Sometimes even when we know the relationship is not right we still try to hold on to that person. Move on, go NC, improve yourself, make life better. Realise that you deserve better than the no explanation man! Good luck
  • Feb 27, 2009, 02:30 PM
    ylaira

    Let's see:

    HIM:"You are a nice girl, you're fun, you are everything that a man is looking for but for some reason, I am no longer happy and in love with you."


    YOU: But why?

    HIM:" The spark is no longer there. I want something more."


    YOU: Like what?

    HIM: I don't know. I just don't love you anymore..


    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Hannahbugg View Post
    i guess because i didnt see it coming so i had no time to prepare myself for when he told me about the break up so i still have feelings for this person. and like i said i feel bad for hoping he is suffering because i know i am going through a heartache and i just want him to be suffering regretting the decision he has made

    Before dropping the bomb, he already spent nights thinking about it so don't think he'll regret it and he's suffering. He may feel guilty but so what? Maybe he miss the good things of being around you but that's it. HE ALREADY MADE UP HIS MIND. What ever he say's nothing will still satisfy you.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Hannahbugg View Post
    i guess im still in shock and im just wanting him to want me back. i dont think im the only one who has wanted someone back after a break up. im not exactaly looking for ways to get him back because i know he has to want me back. i just know guys show break ups way differently then us girls do. by acting like it isnt fazing them one bit. and im not sure to be happy to think he is doing ok with this or angry that he isnt showing any type of sadness. like i was that easy to get over u know???

    Every person is different but for some they don't want to give reasons because there's no point. He knows you did nothing wrong, you didn't deserve to feel this way but better have end it than make false hopes.
  • Feb 28, 2009, 12:28 PM
    talaniman

    I think your still in shock, and need time to get over it. You will though.

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