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My son is 25 lives at home and has no life.
He has a job as a computer admin and is going to school part time.
He hardly ever goes out at night and sits in his room playing video games until 2:00 AM sometimes. He's a good kid, polite with a good sense of humor.
Is there a forum, or group for parents who want to get their kids hooked up so to speak?
Hooked up? Like hooked up for sex, hooked up for friendship?
I suppose because he's still in your home you have a vested interest in his life; on the other hand, he's 25 and in a position to get himself "hooked up," if he's so interested.
Sounds like a good kid - no drugs, alcohol, you know where he is - so maybe he's just not ready to hook up.
Friendship, dating.Quote:
Originally Posted by JudyKayTee
There has to be a website or something for parents with a similar problem so that they might find a match.
I know it appears that I'm meddling, but I think it's getting just a little bit late for him to be living home and lonely.
Has he expressed that he is lonely? He likely has quite a social network of friends online and probably also interacts with people at work and school.
If it is the living at home part that concerns you, maybe talk to him about how long he sees himself being there. Will he be done with school soon? Would he be able to afford a place of his own?
I don't think staying up till 2 playing computer games is that unusual for a 25 year old guy. My boyfriend does it and he lives with me, so do his mates. They play each other on line.
He probably has no interested in the type of girls you can get 'hooked up' with in nightclubs and bars so that is why he doesn't go there!
Yeah living at home when 25 isn't the best situation but the economy is down the tubes so I suspect it is going to become more common place.
Have most of his old friends from school moved away or are they in the same position?
PS
I'd be very surpised if he would take "I've found you a friend online" very well.
I can see the concern about 'staying up playing computer games' as a problem if it were a part of him not being responsible otherwise.
I would be more concerned with making him be more responsible --paying rent to you or looking for his own place.
Why should the responsibility just be transferred from mom to a girlfriend?
Too many guys seem to leave their mom and then expect their girlfriend to be a mom to them. Let him be responsible for himself. He doesn't need a girlfriend if he doesn't want one.
First he is not a "kid" he is a adult and can and should be making his own choices.
1. what duties around the house does he do
2. how much rent does he pay
3. is he treated like a adult or a child at home
Quote:
Originally Posted by gm7b5
You have to try to look at him as a man. A man with a job, who still lives at home with mom, playing video games. As you said, he has no life.
That you are trying to 'hook him up' and are actively involved in this man's love life, thinking you must provide some solution, and as someone has said, switching from mom to a girlfriend, is not the solution.
What do you want from him. Independence, an age-appropriate relationship with this grown man, some sort of effort to have a more meaningful life for himself?
If those are some possibilities, then set some expectations. That he is a good 'kid' and is easy to live with, does not mean that it is okay for him not to live on his own.
If he can pay rent, he can rent his own place, or share an apartment. He can pay his own bills, do his own laundry, and live like an adult.
If your compliance with his lifestyle continues, you are short-changing him from living an independent life.
Age 25, employed, capable, no reason why he should not be on his own.
He sounds like a responsible guy (working and going to school, staying home relaxing). Maybe he's just not ready for a relationship right now. Are you sure that he hasn't been involved with someone from work or school and he's just taking a breather? Maybe he just didn't want to talk with his Mommy about his relationships because... he's 25. I don't think you attempting to fix him up with someone will go over very well though. Just let him be so he can continue to focus on work and school.
First of all I want to ask you, why didn't you leave your child FREE in his child hood.
Its very difficult to change the attitude && the behaviour of a grownup man. We can have control on a kid, but not on him.
Please allow him to create friends, meet them etc. Let him play outdoor games instead of Indoor games.
Send him to some swimming classes or some kind of other classes, where he will mug up with other guys & gals.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pundalikadkar
You do realize the mother is asking about an adult child, right? How is she going to "send him" to swimming classes or any other activity if he doesn't want to go.
On one hand you are telling her to leave her adult child to enjoy his childhood; on the other you are advising her to send him to swimming classes.
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