Hey guys, a slight problem which is driving me a bit crazy.

I've been dating a girl for maybe... 7 months? I live in London, she lives in France. So we get to see each other maybe... once a month for a week or so?

Now genreally I'm a pretty jelous person, when she tells me sometimes guys kiss her I get a bit worked up. But she convinces me there's no love involved so I kind of accept it.

However, on Saturday I'll be going Korea for 1 year, and I won't be seeing her for a year (we've talked about this quite a bit). But she tells me that she can't NOT have sex for a whole year which I find crazy!

She then goes onto explain that while we've been dating she has had sex with other guys too which, for me, crossess the line.

Now don't get me wrong, I know 1 year is a long time, and this is not only a test for her but for me too, I mean hell... I'll be surrounded by gorgeous asian women, however why put myself through the torture if she on the other side of the world is getting shafted left right and centre? Initially when I explained that I was angry about this she said that she is free to do what she wants and she's not a slave etc.

The thing is, she does love me, I know that much and she's seriously considering not having sex with other guys while I'm gone. When she decides something she really does mean it.

What do you guys think?

I am sorry, but this entire post is funny...

Explain to me why you call her your girlfriend?? Nothing she does resembles being a girlfriend to you...

I'm going to agree with kctiger. Have you two established that you're exclusive? She doesn't sound like a girlfriend at all.

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Originally Posted by Feah

Hey guys, a slight problem which is driving me a bit crazy.

I've been dating a girl for maybe....7 months? I live in London, she lives in France. So we get to see eachother maybe...once a month for a week or so?

Now genreally I'm a pretty jelous person, when she tells me sometimes guys kiss her I get a bit worked up. But she convinces me there's no love involved so I kind of accept it.

However, on Saturday I'll be going Korea for 1 year, and I won't be seeing her for a year (we've talked about this quite a bit). But she tells me that she can't NOT have sex for a whole year which I find crazy!

She then goes onto explain that while we've been dating she has had sex with other guys too which, for me, crossess the line.

Now don't get me wrong, I know 1 year is a long time, and this is not only a test for her but for me too, I mean hell...I'll be surrounded by gorgeous asian women, however why put myself through the torture if she on the other side of the world is getting shafted left right and centre? Initially when I explained that I was angry about this she said that she is free to do what she wants and she's not a slave etc.

The thing is, she does love me, I know that much and she's seriously considering not having sex with other guys while I'm gone. When she decides something she really does mean it.

What do you guys think?

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This, to me, takes the cake in this entire post... are you really giving her credit for giving such a serious consideration to this?? You act as if this isn't something most NORMAL couples wouldn't even have established before they began dating...

Lol wow... you guys have made your opinions pretty clear haha.

But it sound like from your answers... even if she does accept I should leave her and find someone else?

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Originally Posted by Feah

Hey guys, a slight problem which is driving me a bit crazy.

she tells me sometimes guys kiss her I get a bit worked up. But she convinces me there's no love involved so I kind of accept it.

What do you guys think?

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I stopped thinking right about here and thought... what kind of guy falls for this?

How naïve could this guy be?

This is what he thinks a relationship is?

Now you are making excuses for why it would be too hard for her to wait a year for you. This isn't your girlfriend, this sounds like a "friends with benefits" set up. She has no respect for you apparently. Time to start looking at all those lovely asain women. You are, by the way, single.

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Originally Posted by Feah

lol wow...you guys have made your opinions pretty clear haha.

But it sound like from your answers...even if she does accept I should leave her and find someone else?

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Yes, you should find someone else. Someone who has some self control. You can do better!

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Originally Posted by Feah

lol wow...you guys have made your opinions pretty clear haha.

But it sound like from your answers...even if she does accept I should leave her and find someone else?

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What is she going to accept?

You are right it is pretty clear... if you doubt us re-read your post.

The big question I have for you is why are you still with her after she told you that she has made love to other men while still in a realationship with you? I think that if you are leaving for a year and you and she can't resist temptation then maybe you guys should just end it and move on. I know I sound blunt and sorry for that, but if I am in love with someone, I will wait for them. Really think about it before you do anything rash.

This is going to be harsh. Grow a pair, tell her she is a wh___ and find a real girlfriend.

Understood and appreciated guys, thanks a lot!

you're welcome. That's what we're here for. =)

I agree that you are not exclusive,at least on her end so expecting fidelity from her is a lost cause.Shes not that into you as evidenced by her previous behavior.
People can and do remain faithful for long periods of separation,if they truly want to.If they are motivated by love and respect for themselves, their mate ,and their relationship.

Another heads up:

"My girlfriend has sex with other guys and says it's ok" = an entire oxymoron statement.

She sounds like my kind of woman.

Wow, the choice is clear. Leave her, I really cannot say anything else on this topic as I am speechless

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She then goes onto explain that while we've been dating she has had sex with other guys too which, for me, crosses the line.

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I feel the same, and would have been long gone!

She didn't keep her legs closed before so what makes you think she will for a year? Not smart!

There's a word for girls like this, rhymes with floor.

Honey, turn tail and run as fast as you can, unless you like sharing your "girlfriend" with other guys.

She doesn't love you, she loves sex, with anyone that she can find.

She's not going to keep her legs crossed for a whole year, she couldn't even do it while you where around, forget about while you're away.

Consider yourself single, have fun in Korea.

Long distance relationships are hard and from what you say your already on bad terms. Its not hard to not have sex for a while you can pleaseure yourself. But if you both seem to worry so much about having sex and cheating you already sound like your doubting yourself it may not work. You can try but don't hold your breath. You may be better off breaking up any way being free in korea and starting a new relationship that's not long distance

You are dating, I doubt there is really any "love" not the love you are talking about, you are one of many people she is dating, and sleeping with, So basically unless someone special comes along in that year, she will still be there to have sex with when you get back.