I recently just went through a breakup. When we started we agreed that is was the real thing we both are divorced I am 31 she is 28. This relationship seemed like the best ever we both fell in love and we both said we really knew and felt the real thing. Then something happened to me I got scared. I started losing the real me I started being clingy jealous and emotional and she knew it. She told me that I needed to stop and I could not help it. It started affecting our sex life I have never been insecure before but I started feeling that way. She would ask me all the time what happened to that calm collected guy that she fell so hard in love with. She would do things and try to prove to me that she really loved me she would buy me stuff do stuff for me moved in with me because of the way that I was acting I totally lost my true self because I loved her so much anytime she would need anything I would do it for her and would always ask her what's wrong. I know she loved me but now that were are apart I can finally see all this and can't believe I acted that way and it makes me sick. I really see what I really did have she did nothing wrong but stayed with me the way I was acting I know that I could have not stayed with me seeing this now. I have tried to tell her that guy she fell in love with is still here and better and more confident then ever but is there anyway to get her to realize that. She has moved out everyone that we know is so suppressed and says how happy she was in the beginning were were best friends. When we broke up I went drinking because I was so hurt and lost and when I came home said some really mean things to her. I miss her and tell all my friends the truth about what happened but they tell me she was bad when I now know how good and loyal she really was. I really had it all. Is there anyway that I can get her to see that I learned from my mistakes because I know I have now.

Write a letter, send an email or s simple phone call to her and tell her exactly what happened, how bad you feel and ask her straight out if there is any chance left that you two could make amends. This might take some professional help on your side to convince her that you are sincere. I don't know. But I am sure it will involve a lot of groveling on your part to let her see that you understand what happened and that you are willing to change. That is IF you are willing to change?

The thing of it is, she has to WANT to see that you've learned. If she doesn't want to see that she won't.