Does anyone know anything about spyware for monotoring mobile phones.
Do these work and what are the laws around this?
I suspect infidelity!!

If you are this sure of it, then confront your partner, or talk to them about it... the ends don't justify the means...

You are willing to stoop this low to find this out? Obviously you don't trust your partner...

A relationship is not a game of cat and mouse. There should be no "catching a cheat."

If you suspect a problem, be an adult and talk to your partner. That's the best way.

Spying and monitoring calls/emails/imchats are not the way to go.

Be an adult, asked the spouse about it.

Or heck, why not hire a private investigator to follow them around all the time and go on the show cheaters

Have done all of the above.

Then you have a choice to make. You either believe your partner or you don't. A relationship is based on trust. If there is no trust, there should be no relationship. It's that simple.

So No trust you have no relationship

Do the one thing you haven't done, break up, no proof necessary (because at this point it doesn't matter) and don't look back. This was not a relationship that was meant to work out.

Proof only proves more pain, who needs that in a break-up. Doesn't a break-up cause enough pain?

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You need a counselor and if your husband won't go... do this for yourself. I feel you need help sorting yourself out after the trauma you have been through.

If you are sure they are cheating to a point of wanting to tap their phone, you need just to leave. Perhaps just ask to see the cell phone bill showing the calls made?

But it is illegal to tap someone else's phone

What makes you think this is happening? What did your partner say when you discussed it? Anyway, two wrongs don't make a right. If your partner is sneaking around and cheating, it doesn't mean that you also get to sneak around by spying. That's not a mature way of dealing with things. You need to talk, and then make any necessary decisions based on how you feel after you talk.