Hi All,

I'm new here.

Hope this isn't too long.

I was hoping to find some help in how to get over my ex partner. My ex and I split up over 4 years ago. I know a long time ago. I am in a current relationship which is approaching the 3 year mark, we live together and my partner is really caring and I know loves me. He would happily spend the rest of his life with me and have children.

My break up with my ex was really difficult for me, while there was no cheating or lying or anything really nasty that happened, it came without warning and left me absolutely devastated. He just got home from work one day and ended it. Sometimes I wish he had cheated or something so I had a reason to be glad to be out of the relationship. He was not my first long term relationship but the first and only person I could see myself living the rest of my life with.

I don't see him or bump into him anymore, although I do have some friends that are still friends with him but they rarely mention him. I had gotten to the stage that I could hear his name and it's not that big of a deal. However lately I have been really struggling with the fact that as I am getting older my current partner is talking about the future and I find myself unable to commit to anything in my heart. All of my relationships since my ex have felt wrong and I am worried that my unresolved issues with my ex is ruining my future.

My family and friends all loved my ex and none of my boyfriends since have lived up to him in their eyes. They make small comments that hinders me from moving on such as, "I met the coolest guy the other day he reminded me a lot of "Ex"" everyone who knew my ex does it. My ex was a one of a kind, funny, outgoing person. My current partner is quite the opposite. He is shy and not much of a joker.

Is my partner the wrong man for me and when I meet the right person I'll forget about the past?
Or is my past completely stopping me from enjoying new relationships?

I pride myself on being a strong minded person however this is completely consuming my thoughts everyday and I find myself falling further out of love with my current partner.

Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

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Originally Posted by sleepy99

Is my partner the wrong man for me and when I meet the right person I'll forget about the past?
Or is my past completely stopping me from enjoying new relationships?

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How long did you wait before you got into this new relationship? A year, right, if I do my math correctly...

I didn't really see anything positive you wrote about your current boyfriend, and I also don't think it is very smart trying to devote YOUR ALL to something when it isn't YOUR ALL that this guy is getting. You will forget about the past when you learn to let it go, and when you learn that there is nothing you can do to change it...

Your past isn't stopping you from enjoying your current relationship, you are. If you don't like this guy, then break up with him! People are so afraid to let go of something they are merely just comfortable it. Guess what, comfort doesn't = happiness.

Kc is right! I also think you are letting your friends a family dictate too much of your feelings for your current boyfriend. If he's what you want, then tell them that. If not, let him go

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Or is my past completely stopping me from enjoying new relationships?

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Its not your past, its you getting into another relationship before you were ready and now that's fading.

You really need to do the right thing and leave the current guy alone, and stay single until you have healed properly.

Your getting older is no excuse for letting this guy think he has something that he doesn't.........................a partner who feels as he does.

Not fair, and will get worse the longer you don't come clean.