Ok. So I'm dating this guy that is SUPER sweet. He's a tad bit on the goofy side, but we share the same values and we have fun together. Our first date I met him and I said, NO WAY run for the hills not going to happen. As I spent time with him in a friend setting, I realized that he has a wonderful personality and even though he has annoying quirks he's a great guy. So everyone said, "Oh, don't let the first impression drive you away. Give him a chance" So I gave him a chance. We've been dating for about a month now, and I still have mixed feelings. I still believe that he is a wonderful guy. Very sweet. Very romantic. Just an all around nice guy. The problem, I don't really FEEL anything in the relationship. He tells me how much he's head over heels for me and what not, and I just can't answer back because other than the fact that I care about him in a friendly way. I'm not sure that I care about him as anything more than that. Now I've taken everyone's advice and given him a chance and now we are in a relationship that I'm not sure is going anywehre, but he is so sure it is. And I'm just rolling with it. Letting it play out. Seeing what's going to happen. I feel like such a jerk, because I don't have this deep passion for him that he seems to have, but I don't really want to break up either because what if its just going to take time. When we kiss, I just don't feel anything. He does, I don't. I don't even look forward to it. Past relationships I've been waiting for the moment when my guy would steal a kiss or two. With him... not so much.

I feel like such a TERRIBLE person, but I don't know what to do. Also my family LOVES him by the way. They like him because he is such a nicer guy than the last guy I dated, but I just don't feel that spark. We get along GREAT. I mean we have a lot of fun and we laugh and joke, but the whole lovey dovey part is weird for me.

Put it this way, shouldn't I feel like I couldn't live without him?? I don't. I feel like if we broke up tomorrow the only part about it that would upset me is that I would be hurting him. Does that make me a bad person?

WHAT DO I DO?? Let it play out and see what happens running the risk of dropping him hard if things don't work out OR ending it now, hurting his feelings and never knowing what could have been had I stuck out the awkwardness??

PLEASE HELP!!

Do him a favor and END it. Wait, do yourself a favor and END it. Both ways you both win, He can get a girl that likes him for being him, and you can contuniue to prowl. Good luck with all that.

End it, save you and him the heartache and trouble.

Yes.. end it now before it goes on longer. The sooner the better.

It makes no sense being in a relationship with someone that makes you feel awkward or you don't share feelings for.

Be honest with him, and be true to yourself, you don't feel the same and its friends or nothing. He may need time to adjust, so give him his space.

Future warning, don't even get into a relationship with some one you ain't feeling it with in the first place. No matter who says give him a chance.

Why'd you start dating him in the first place? Were you even interested him in the beginning?

Why did I get into the relationship in the first place? I was interested in him. I still think I am. I'm just not seeing long term here, and I think he is. In another post on amhd I asked if I was being superficial by not giving guys a chance because I didn't feel that immediate spark. Everyone said "Oh, you gotta give it time" So I give it time and I still don't really think it's there. Now I'm still willing to give it time. I really do like him, a lot. We have so much in common and we have a nice relationship with each other as far as we communicate very well and we just enjoy each others company. My problem is when it comes down to the lovey dovey kissy kissy things are just weird for me. Maybe that's because he's pushing it and I want to let things go more slowly. Or maybe that's because I really don't feel anything. I don't want to make the mistake of dumping the guy that could be my soulmate, but at the same time I don't want to hurt him if things aren't going to work out.

My question... could it just be a time issue? What if I told him that I am having mixed feelings and that I want to slow it down a bit? No he's not prince charming and he's not going to be turning heads on a runway anytime soon, but he really is quite a catch. I mean nicest guy in the world. That's what every girl wants right? A good man, who thinks the world of her and would go to the ends of the earth for her. One who REALLY cares about her.

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Originally Posted by tadita83

Why did I get into the relationship in the first place? I was interested in him. I still think I am. I'm just not seeing long term here, and I think he is. In another post on amhd I asked if I was being superficial by not giving guys a chance because I didn't feel that immediate spark. Everyone said "Oh, you gotta give it time" So I give it time and I still don't really think its there. Now I'm still willing to give it time. I really do like him, a lot. We have so much in common and we have a nice relationship with each other as far as we communicate very well and we just enjoy each others company. My problem is when it comes down to the lovey dovey kissy kissy things are just wierd for me. Maybe thats becasue he's pushing it and I wanna let things go more slowly. Or maybe thats because I really don't feel anything. I don't wanna make the mistake of dumping the guy that could be my soulmate, but at the same time I don't wanna hurt him if things aren't gonna work out.

My question... could it just be a time issue? What if I told him that I am having mixed feelings and that I wanna slow it down a bit? No he's not prince charming and he's not gonna be turning heads on a runway anytime soon, but he really is quite a catch. I mean nicest guy in the world. That's what every girl wants right? A good man, who thinks the world of her and would go to the ends of the earth for her. One who REALLY cares about her.

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I ask because the same thing happened to me, in fact you sound just like her. This information may be of use to you.

Five months ago I was dating a girl I really liked and I was the nice guy in your story, but I'm usually not, I tend to be a cocky prick. I couldn't tell you why I acted that way other than she's 3 years older than me, made a lot more money than me, and in the beginning she had this idea I slept around with everything that walks and I felt I had to prove otherwise. So I'd do all the sappy bulls**t like bought her flowers once, rub her back until she fell asleep, tell her she's gorgeous... all stuff I haven't done in... well, ever.

She told me she really liked me and a mutual friend the same, liked to spend time with me, bought me a nice watch, dinner, all sorts of sh*t and I liked to believe she wasn't lying. Fast froward two-months and it all just stops, I just don't hear from her for two weeks. I had to resort to Facebook to tell her how I felt when I probably just should've given up right there. I should mention that we started dating 7 months after she broke up with her ex-fiancee of 7 years who she still was talking to, he badgered her and hated me. Clearly she was confused, she doesn't know what she wants and I can't blame her.

I've known of her for 3 years, so I always heard stories about her. And what I gathered from her is she has a very hard time letting people into her life (is this you?). Boyfriends, friends, even family; she only recently made amends with mother and other brothers and sisters. And I think that's why I liked her so much, she was such a challenge.

I was never sure why it ended like that, but I convinced myself months ago it's just 'cause she wasn't into me. I probably was too nice, killed the attraction, and smothered her... pretty much what you're saying now. I haven't spoken to her, other than random texts, in over 5 months and I'm 95% sure she's dating someone else. She probably was days after we broke up. It's her loss.

My suggestion is if you're not sure you about anything really, really have to tell him, instead of dropping subtle hints. And don't volunteer information that you don't necessarily believe.

If I had to do it all over again I would never date her. I really didn't learn anything from it and all I got out of it was a $50 watch.

Lovey-dovey is weird? Are you just not physically attracted to him?

If the chemistry is missing,it just is and no amount of effort is going to make it happen.

Maybe his adoration is putting you off.I know if some guy was acting all sappy and being clingy,I would find it a turn off.

Even in this time of enlightenment,I think women still want manly men.Yes,we want sensitive as well but not clingy and needy. Adoration would put me off.

Be honest ,before he invests any more hope in what may turn out to be a non match.