I'm in high school. The group of people I hang out with is made up mostly of people from my elementary school, witch is outside the city. None of us are really close friends, but even after a couple of years none of us have made other friends. Then, in class, I was forced by the teacher to sit next to this girl (Im a guy) who's "popular" I guess. We quickly became friends, despite rarely seeing each other outside of class, except for briefly after school ( she plays volleyball, me basketball). She has a boyfriend from a different school, who I know she really likes, so it never became more then friends (although I have a massive crush on her), but my class with her quickly became the highlight of day, because finally I had a friend who I could actually relate to. She apparently felt the same way, because when someone jokingly asked what she was doing hanging out with me, she said "we're, like, best friends". She even suggested that I should switch into one of her second semester classes so we could be in it together, and spent the last day of the semester finding classrooms with me.

But now it is semester2 and it'd different, and I don't know why. We do have a class together, but (not by choice) she ended up 2 seats away from me. That's not much, but now she only talks to the people around her (but not like she did with me). For the first couple of days she still kind of looked at me, but for except for once, she never spoke to me, even when she had obvious excuses to. It's now been weeks, and nothing has changed. But here's what's driving me crazy: in the hallway, she still smiles at me, occasionally waves, and even once, kicked me to get me to look up as she smiled. After all this, she never eve speaks a word to me, and I'm worried that when we do talk it will be really awkward, or that we won't be as close friends as before. I know she really did like me (as a friend), and wondering about this is driving me crazy, to the point where I decided to write this (something I still can't believe I'm doing).

Does she still like me? Should I ask her if we're still friends/tell her how I feel (without letting her know I have a crush on her)? How do I tell her I like her without coming on too strong? (BTW, I can't text her because of a stupid deal with my phone)

Please help, school sucks now
***sorry I wrote such a novel

Just ask her,otherwise you can drive yourself crazy wondering what could be the problem.

I would just say to her * Did I do something to make you mad because you barely talk to me anymore*?

Your not telling about your crush and just wondering what happened to the friendship.

Whenever you see her just say *hay you got a sec *and lay it on her .Don't be all serious ,just try to make a joke out of it if at all possible.Be light and easy and just come out with it.

I want to talk to her about it so badly, but how do I approach her without making it super awkward (i.e. "puling her aside")? It's now been a month since we've talked, and she hasn't even looked at me in about a week. What should I say? I don't even know when I could talk to her, as she always has a large group around her during breaks, and both our sports are done now. I got the "deal" with my phone fixed, but I can't text her as I never got her # (but she has mine). Since we don't talk, I haven't even told her this (she used to say that she wished she could text me).

I don't want to talk to her in front of her friends, as they'd probably get the wrong idea.

It was my birthday last week... I don't even think she knew...

Don't worry about what her friends are thinking! Who cares?
They are no better than you!

Tell her you want to talk to her about something and ask for her #.

You can't be so shy that it is paralyzing! Have confidence and go for it. Or ask a mutual friend for her # if she would be OK with that.

Think about how good you are and give yourself a pep talk and take a deep breath and just take that chance!
Believe in yourself and show it and others will believe in you too.You will exude confidence and people will see you differently!

Dude stop, take a deep breath and calm down. First, she's one girl, she's not the queen of your school even if she acts like it. Second, asking her if you are friends still is not how I would go about this. I would jokingly say, "Man life must suck for you?" SHe will say, "Why?" and you, again jokingly say "I haven't talked to you for weeks."

By doing that it does two things. One, it is a joke, so it helps allievate the tension you've created in your own head. Secondly, the statement "I haven't talked to you" makes it sound like this was your choice and not hers.

Sorry guy, but you need some friends, and a lot more to do with yourself, beside tripping on a female.

"ar9763 disagrees: Thx, it was good advice, but I just don't think I can pull off a line like that"

What the hell was that? You agree that it's good advice and then you disagree with me?

Sorry, but I don't think the line will work. It's good, but, knowing this girl pretty well, I don't think it would be the best approach for her.

Quote:

---

ar9763 agrees: what do you mean "a lot more to do with yourself"?

---

If all you want is friendship, why ask about it, just go with the flow, and be friends. Maybe your not telling us the whole story, and you want a date or something, but tripping on being friendly, and being overly concerned with whether she likes you or not, is very insecure of you.

What Chuff was saying is use some humor in a friendly way, with a funny line, or approach. That's how friends act toward each other. Its only an ice breaker. She smiles and you talk to her.

RELAX, your way to uptight!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ar9763

She has a boyfriend from a different school, who i know she really likes, so it never became more then friends (although I have a massive crush on her), but my class with her quickly became the highlight of day, because finally i had a friend who i could actually relate to.

---

I HAVE TWO THEORIES:

FIRST: the girl has zero idea with whatever you are feeling about her and all this best friend and closeness and liking you back is just in your head. Remember, she has a boyfriend.


SECOND:She felt that maybe you are getting to close and has to make boundaries and maybe talking to you is the start. Remember, she has a boyfriend.

If she already has a b/f, then you just be friendly and not focus on her so much as she is unavailable for what you want. Deal with your crush by being friendly, but not just with her. Bad idea to try and come between a female and her b/f.

You can't always act on your feelings when they may be unwanted or inappropriate.

To me, it sounds like she likes you but is thinking the same thing you are thinking. I would take the risk and talk to her, if you want, ask her why you haven't talked and tell her how you feel. That's just my opinion. It may be hard to do but it could be worth it.

hey,
Since this problem began, it has been almost 2 months, and things between us have become SUPER awkward (even more so), and I'm not sure why. Im pretty sure my "friend" has figured out how I feel, because now instead of waves and smiles when we pass in the hall, she seems to be looking anywhere but at me (im tall, and easy to spot coming).

a few weeks previous, I had tried to take your advice, and stopped her to talk while "randomly" passing her in the hall. I just got a new phone, and used the excuse to talk to her of giving her the new #. I also said that I was going to text her, but wasn't sure because "we haven't talked in, like, two weeks". She assured me that we were still all right, then hurried off (she was legitimately busy). However, in talking to her I'm pretty sure I showed how nervous I was, and think that that is what has changed things.

For a couple days after this, I saw her sort of "sneaking" looks at me(not really good, because a couple times I was caught already looking at her). Than, after a week or so of this, she randomly turned around in the middle of a group project and started talking to me. It was kind of forced, and it was cut extremely short by class ending, but it was obvious that she was really.. I don't know... "excited" to talk to me ( I got a big laugh over a non-joke)

Despite my hopes after that day, the hallway awkwardness only increased. Yesterday I got a quick "hi (my name)" sort of mumbled, but only after I opened a door and was basically face to face with her. Today I passed her three times, and all three she happened(?) to be looking somewhere else.

Twice she has turned around again, at the beginning of class, and started talking to me, but these conversations have been kind of forced, and ended quickly as soon as someone else sat down around or between us (assigned seats). To be fair, these convos are quick and forced, but all the familiarity of our friendship is gone. I wish I could think of a way to spend time with her outside of our classroom (such as after school again, at lunch wouldn't work because of her girlfriends).

Any more advice? How do I make the awkwardness go away?

thanks

P.s. She hasn't texted me yet, even through when we were "best friends" she said she wished she could. I can't text her because I am an idiot and lost her # along with my old phone ( I should probably just suc it up and ask for it again). Also her and her BF are still going strong (about 5 months)

Quote:

---

How do I make the awkwardness go away?

---

You don't! You learn to deal with it like you do any of your feelings. Just curious, how did she figure out your crush on her??

?
Im not sure I get you. I don't mean just my own akward feelings, but the akwardness in the interactions between us. How do I stop the games and woundering and have things familiar and friendly again?

Quote:

---

However, in talking to her I'm pretty sure I showed how nervous I was, and think that that is what has changed things.

---

Quote:

---

I saw her sort of "sneaking" looks at me(not really good, because a couple times I was caught already looking at her)

---

I think these, and just the general awkwardness of me

Sometimes you just have to be willing to put yourself out there and risk rejection.

Maybe she feels this,maybe she feels that ,that kind of thinking will drive you crazy because you can not know what is going on.

She may know you have a crush on her if your always staring at her.If you were always staring at me I would keep my distance.

Quote:

---

all the familiarity of our friendship is gone.

---

Maybe she is picking up on the crush vibe and feeling uncomfortable by it.

I would get her number again and maybe if you text you can be a little more natural and she won't be able to see you making eyes at her.

Maybe her BF is not into her being friends with other guys and she is being distant because of him.

Bottom line,she is taken and from now on I would let her be the one to make any advances.If you back off a little she may feel more comfortable.

Good luck!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ;

it was obvious that she was really.. I don't know... "excited" to talk to me

---

Quote:

---

For a couple days after this, I saw her sort of "sneaking" looks at me

---

Since writing that, I have repeatedly seen her turn her head or move her eyes as I turned towards her, or noticed her. I think she is also doing what my friends call the "stealth look" a.k.a out of the corner of her eye. I think she feels the same as me but maybe not as "intensely".

Quote:

---

Sometimes you just have to be willing to put yourself out there and risk rejection.

---

Quote:

---

Bottom line,she is taken and from now on I would let her be the one to make any advances.If you back off a little she may feel more comfortable.

---

Um... I really appreciate your advice, but it was like you changed your mind at the end. I think she wants to talk to me, but can't get past the awkwardness either. Which sucks because, we used to be so close ("best friends"). Also, this whole deal started because we stopped talking, and I just sort of let it happen. I don't see how I could "back off" any more than not talking to her for weeks.

P.s, I don't think she's crushing on me, because her and her BF are still together.