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-   -   Is it normal right before marriage to panic sometimes? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=32191)

  • Aug 21, 2006, 12:48 AM
    Amythest
    Is it normal right before marriage to panic sometimes?
    Okay I am about to get married and usually I am so excited and like yea woohoo, but then sometimes I totally panic, and I am like crap what if I can't be a great wife for this guy? OR what if we do drive each other nuts? Crap what if we are getting married to fast? What if I am wrong and this wonderfully amzong guy is meant for someone else
    Of course then I think" As long as I love him, and do all i can to be an awesome wife, and I pray for him then I will be a fine wife." " NO one gets along all the time we probably will drive eachother nuts sometimes, but we will get through it and be stronger" " we are techniquly marrying eachotehr later than originally planned.....adn waitnign for the sake of waitng seems silly too." " I doubt this guy would want to marry you if he really thought you were wrong for him....plus he proabbly thinks the same thing abotu you which coudl possibly be a good sign."

    I think it is because I beileve marriage as a permanent thing that it brings that sort of panic... like it sinks in " REST OF YOUR LIFE" and I go... that could be a rally long time.
    But then I think of the guy and I go " I cannot think of a better possible person.

    Also is it bad that I still recognize cute guys? Not that I would want them and usually I am like cute guy, good guy , doesn't compare with steve, hey I should introduce him to such and such chik iI know.

    ??
    Um please get back to me.
  • Aug 21, 2006, 01:09 AM
    Krs
    Hey hey hey..
    Breath in, breath out... smile... and chill :)

    What you are feeling is just so so normal, I went through it and I'm sure other ladies in house will agree!

    Also you said you still recognise cute guys... you know what me and hubby say :- There is no harm in window shopping ;).
  • Aug 21, 2006, 09:04 AM
    talaniman
    You are so normal and human and funny, and spell better, at least here you did. Your husband, I think is very lucky and probably will never have a dull moment. Congrats!!
  • Aug 21, 2006, 10:34 AM
    kp2171
    My wife hated the idea of a long engagement... just to be anxious and planning so long drove her nuts... so when a chance came up to "elope" and get married while on vacation and seeing her father, we did. She would have gone crazy if we'd waited.

    So, yeah... right now you are riding a roller coaster. Its absolutely normal.

    As for the rest...

    Don't get scared about the rest-of-your-life issue. I've been happily married six years and counting, all of them lived one day at a time.

    It isn't that complicated. Let your partner know what you want. Listen to his wants. Talk about your plans, or they'll never happen. Talk about money and budgets, or you'll never have any. Do this sooner than later. Talk about sex, jobs, and pretty much everything and anything. The more you can be open about what's going on, the better. And have a ton of fun. If you're not laughing a lot, keep trying.

    Congratulations!
  • Aug 21, 2006, 11:06 AM
    Wildcat21
    Actually - that's great to have those feelings - you're normal.

    One question - how old are you?
  • Aug 21, 2006, 11:10 PM
    Amythest
    I am 22. Thank you guys. Gals. I was totally starting to do that crap what if it's a bad sign :P haha I took and english test today two of them and would you know it when I apply myself I actually am really great at English... math however eeex. Math is not like a bicycle.
  • Aug 22, 2006, 12:16 AM
    Krs
    Good for you :) and well done.
  • Aug 22, 2006, 06:23 AM
    kp2171
    oh yeah...

    and the part about recognizing other people you find attractive... just because you are engaged or in a relationship does not mean you suddenly lose the ability to see. =)

    yes. You are going to find attractive guys the rest of your life. You will likely even meet men that you think you are compatible with, as well as guys you think a friend might find attractive.

    as I've said in other posts, I think my wife could be happy with another man. Not just any man. And not necessarily a carbon copy of me. I just don't believe in the soul mate thing. I think when you find something really good, and you are on the same page where important things matter, and you both are honesty committed to the work it takes to have a great marriage, well then so what if there are others you are attracted to from time to time. Its absolutely normal. If you really believe and honor your commitment to each other, on a daily basis, well then who cares if you find another man attractive? Perfectly normal.

    the only thing you need to be aware of is your spouses comfort level. I could point out a guy in a room to my wife that I think shed find attractive or a woman that I might think is attractive and itd be no big deal. Some guys (or women) aren't comfortable with that. I think as long as he's not jealous for unreasonable reasons, no biggie.

    my wife has been stressed lately for several reasons and really needs to take a vacation by herself for a few days. Our running joke is that she needs to go to where there's big water, plant herself on the beach, and find an "antonio" to bring her drinks and maybe rub her feet. =)

    its all good as long as you find your kind of weird.
  • Aug 22, 2006, 06:35 AM
    blueiman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Amythest
    I am 22.

    22! My opinion but I think you are too young to get married. But, I'm not in your shoes so good luck and have a great marriage. Best wishes to you both.

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