I was married for 18 years. After ten years or so I found out my husband had "flirted" with about four different woman when he was drunk. I had divorced him and moved out for about a year but we moved back in together. He says he wants us to stay together forever but he talks nasty to me all the time, when he does talk. He use to call me on his way home from work but no longer calls at all. When he comes in the door he dosen't speak until spoken to. He keeps his cell phone on his belt at all times and even takes it into the bathroom with him when he gets up to shower at 5 a.m. There's a password on his computor that I don't have and he clicks it to another screen when I walk in the room. The only time he wants to have sex is when he thinks I'm thinking about going on with my life. This only happens every couple months. We have two sons that are in high school and first year of college that really want me to be here with them but I'm constantly crying because I am so lonely. What should I do? I know there's no way to get into his computor or check the phone.

Send him back where he came from. Have you ever heard the phrase, cheaper to keep her? I think that might be the case in this situation. He isn't interested in being present. He is place holding and most likely being taken care of. Life with his family is much easier than life without. If there is child support involved he's figured out a way to continue to benefit from his contributions. If not then perhaps it's just easier to be "roomates" than to have to be responsible for yourself and pay your own set of bills. I maybe way out of line here, but it is not common for men/women to stick around because life out there in the big bad world is lonely and expensive.

Why do you care, so he talks nasty to you, and does not share or spend time with you, is that not really enough.

Who gets his cell phone bill, it would list who is being called

I can't say if he is physically cheating on you but he does sound like he is emotionally involved or at very least ''flirting'' with women on the computer.
Does he run into the bathroom or somewhere when his phone rings or he is expecting a call?
Does he come home from work late or have time that is basically unaccounted for?

All of these things are signs, but still don't even count. I take my phone in the bathroom with me in the morning, I talk on the phone in the bathroom. Nothing to hide, just do. My point is this. He is making you miserable, that is what counts. Don't leave or have him leave because of his possible actions. You divorced him once. There was a reason. You need to take care of you and you can't when you are so worried about him and the way he is treating you. You deserve better. You should be able to receive positive attention. Fr _ Chuck... As for why she cares... because it is her life. I'd like to believe that I have taken your answer out of context and that is why I am hesitant to hit you with a reddy...

Sounds like its time to move on with your life. Be happy for you--and for your children. I'm sure they would much rather see you happy ((without their father)) than miserable with him. They're old enough to see suffering and I'm sure they know more than you think they do and more than they let on to. Do this for you. You need to be treated with the utmost respect, and you're not right now. You're first instinct was the best one, continue with that.

I would say I intended it to mean, there is enough reason to leave, finding him in bed with someone else is not needed at this point.

She is not happy, she is verbally abused, the kids have to be suffering and more.

I don't see the need to break into his computer to "prove" something.

And that is very valid. You are correct 100% apologies for mis understanding your context... my crazy misinterpretation.