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-   -   Appropriate dad/daughter behavior? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=321424)

  • Feb 24, 2009, 08:57 AM
    phoenix617
    Appropriate dad/daughter behavior?
    I am just curious about how other people would feel about this situation. It seems to me that my husband and my stepdaughter have a slightly reversed role relationship... she often seems like the mother and he the child in their interactions. Which I find a bit creepy.

    Does anyone think it odd that he would lay on my futon and put his head in her lap, while I am right there? She is 25 and has a steady boyfriend (he was not there at the time).

    We have not had a male role model in our house for years, so maybe I don't understand this dad-daughter thing even though I have a daughter.
  • Feb 24, 2009, 09:16 AM
    olwenjlangford

    If he has known your daughter for since she was a baby this could be an endearing show of affection.
    My daughter is coming nineteen and still asks her dad if her boobs are growing
  • Feb 24, 2009, 10:45 AM
    HistorianChick

    That would make me a bit uncomfortable.

    I was Daddy's princess. Always was, and even though he is gone to Jesus, I still am. That being the case, I wouldn't even put my head on his lap unless I was sick and he was comforting me. I'd put my head on his shoulder, or he'd sit with his arm around me, but seldom vice versa. That's a little bit weird. He would do that with my Mom, but not with me.

    I think it is a wee bit weird. Have you spoken to him about it?
  • Feb 24, 2009, 10:54 AM
    Justwantfair
    This behavior doesn't seem appropriate, she is a grown woman. I was a daddy's girl as well, but hugs and pats when you are grown, not lap laying.

    Have you addressed this, what does he say?
  • Feb 24, 2009, 10:55 AM
    ChihuahuaMomma

    Some families are closer than others. I used to do the same with my father. We were more like best friends than father and daughter. I don't see this as being inappropriate.
  • Feb 24, 2009, 10:55 AM
    Emland

    I used to rub my dad's feet. He was a farmer and he feet hurt so as a teenager (and years later on his death bed) I would give him a foot massage. It grossed my friend's out, but it was something I could do for him that meant a lot to him.

    The head in the lap thing is kind of creepy to me. That is such an intimate spot (no pun intended). But perhaps in their family it is normal and you're reading more into it than is really there. Could it be you are jealous of his affection for her?
  • Feb 24, 2009, 02:40 PM
    liz28

    I lay on my dad's lap and on his chest. Me and my dad is very close and he is my best friend. Maybe, like you said, they have a bond that you don't understand.
  • Feb 24, 2009, 02:48 PM
    HistorianChick

    As did I. I had just the same type of bond. But my Dad never put his head in my lap. The OP needs to talk to her husband and find out.
  • Feb 24, 2009, 05:06 PM
    talaniman

    How long have you been around them? You may just have to get use to their interactions, before your comfortable.
  • Feb 24, 2009, 05:27 PM
    JBS382

    I don't think there is something wrong and I was not close with my dad. I think it is because they are so close we just don't understand the relationship and wish we had that close relationship with our own fathers or husbands. So like some of the others have already said it is maybe a little bit of jealousy. If it really bothers you talk to him.
  • Feb 24, 2009, 06:17 PM
    k3441

    Just ask, I love my dad but wouldn't put my head on his lap or his on mine. That's just weird... Some people are different though I guess! Did you do that with your father?

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